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Location: Central Bay Area, CA as of Jan 2010...but still a proud Texan from Houston!
7,484 posts, read 10,445,382 times
Reputation: 8955
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You claim to be an Asian woman in your very first CD post. Did you have a sex change operation since then? Must have been a fast one since that post was on 12/25/12
And then again on 12/25/12 you post that you are a single guy without children.
You claim to be an Asian woman in your very first CD post. Did you have a sex change operation since then? Must have been a fast one since that post was on 12/25/12
And then again on 12/25/12 you post that you are a single guy without children.
You claim to be an Asian woman in your very first CD post. Did you have a sex change operation since then? Must have been a fast one since that post was on 12/25/12
And then again on 12/25/12 you post that you are a single guy without children.
What mind game are you trying accomplish?
Yeah what's up with that? Do you have a weenus or a kitty Op?
I don't mean this to be offensive, law, but I can see why your marriage isn't what it could be. In a longterm, committed relationship this kind of tit-for-tat bean counting is absolutely corrosive. What you did was wrong. If you're relationship was healthy and functioning, you'd be much more focused on what you did and how you can fix it. Obviously, what she did was vidictive and arguably not proportinate to what you did; she went overboard in her revenge... but as the one who was wronged first, one can argue that the escalation is, while not forgivable or reasoable, at least understandable.
At this point though, if you're going to stay married to her, you should focus on forgiveness. Say you're sorry for what you did. Don't expect her to say she is sorry for what she did. Just forgive her and work on being as good a husband as you are father. If you can't do this (and I can see why you couldn't), you should begin working on a healthy, amicable seperation in which both of you work together on creating a nurturing and supportive environment for the kids, but you no longer try to be husband and wife.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawandorder0
I once saw a prostitute after being denied sex (and emotional support) for a long time from my wife. She found out about it and retaliated by having a year long emotional (love) affair with someone. (yes the marriage was bad and we should have divorced much earlier)......
The problem is that we have 3 beautiful children whom we both adore and have decided to make things work for their sake. (we don't fight in front of them and provide them a very stable loving home)
I am struggling with what she did though. I feel like my spending $300 on an escort and having "safe sex" with her for 10 minutes was nowhere NEAR the offense have of having a full blown love affair with someone.
I feel like all I was seeking was some physical release for a few minutes with a woman who meant nothing to me and whom I would never see again. My wife on the other hand went out and spent over a year having a full blown love affair (and introduced my children to him!) all without me knowing a thing about it!
The problem that I am having is that she does not recognize how wrong what she did is. Every time I try to get her to apologize to me she basically says "you started it by cheating on me with the prostitute, you got what you deserved" (or some variation of that)......Basically it's ALL my fault.
Do you agree? Do you feel I should just suck it up and accept what happened, and that I had it coming based on my actions? Or, does anybody feel like I do that "two wrongs don't make a right" and DESPITE what I did it was STILL wrong for her to retaliate that way?
Furthermore, is there anybody that would agree that on the scale of "offenses" seeing a prostitute once for nothing more than 10 minutes of (safe) physical release (with no intentions of breaking up your family) is not as serious as going out and having a full blown emotional affair for a year and falling in love with them with the possible intentions of leaving your spouse and breaking up your family?
Bottom line, I have apologized profusely to my wife for what I did...
Does SHE OWN ME A HUGE APOLOGY TOO?
Thank you so much for your feedback, we are trying to make things work but are really stuck here......
Um, as others found out, this guy is a liar. Posted 3 times on Christmas Day saying he was 3 different things (see post #21 in this thread). Can't a mod close this thread now?
So what you are basically saying is you are selfish and would only look out for your own best interest, to the detriment of your marriage...
Don't kill the messenger! I'm just explaining how many men are - reality...
Anyway to be fair, many women have the need to be touched and held. That is also a need. So if a woman does not get that from her husband, then gets it somewhere else, is she being selfish? I think not! It is a need.
The thing is for both husband and wife to know about their partner's needs, then see that those needs are met in one way or another.
"Selfish" to me is not meeting your partner's needs, and then refusing to allow him/her to get those needs met elsewhere.
"Giving" to me is allowing your partner to have his or her needs met elsewhere if you are not willing to meet those needs yourself.
I once saw a prostitute after being denied sex (and emotional support) for a long time from my wife. She found out about it and retaliated by having a year long emotional (love) affair with someone. (yes the marriage was bad and we should have divorced much earlier)......
The problem is that we have 3 beautiful children whom we both adore and have decided to make things work for their sake. (we don't fight in front of them and provide them a very stable loving home)
I am struggling with what she did though. I feel like my spending $300 on an escort and having "safe sex" with her for 10 minutes was nowhere NEAR the offense have of having a full blown love affair with someone.
I feel like all I was seeking was some physical release for a few minutes with a woman who meant nothing to me and whom I would never see again. My wife on the other hand went out and spent over a year having a full blown love affair (and introduced my children to him!) all without me knowing a thing about it!
The problem that I am having is that she does not recognize how wrong what she did is. Every time I try to get her to apologize to me she basically says "you started it by cheating on me with the prostitute, you got what you deserved" (or some variation of that)......Basically it's ALL my fault.
Do you agree? Do you feel I should just suck it up and accept what happened, and that I had it coming based on my actions? Or, does anybody feel like I do that "two wrongs don't make a right" and DESPITE what I did it was STILL wrong for her to retaliate that way?
Furthermore, is there anybody that would agree that on the scale of "offenses" seeing a prostitute once for nothing more than 10 minutes of (safe) physical release (with no intentions of breaking up your family) is not as serious as going out and having a full blown emotional affair for a year and falling in love with them with the possible intentions of leaving your spouse and breaking up your family?
Bottom line, I have apologized profusely to my wife for what I did...
Does SHE OWN ME A HUGE APOLOGY TOO?
Thank you so much for your feedback, we are trying to make things work but are really stuck here......
Its both your fault. You got to give into an destructive impulse for unhealthy reasons.
You just picked the disposable option. So you were ready to throw your life away for 10 mins.
She was trying to make a new life with someone more emotionally full filling but was unhealthily clinging to the marriage in the mean time for whatever reason.
I don't know if you got what you deserved but more tasted what you served.
Tastes like crap to not matter to someone, doesnt it?
That is where you need to look. Not at what you did but how you got there, how you made the other person feel and how you both make each other continue to feel.
Can you imagine how embarrassed she was to know her husband visited a hooker?
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Did you have a sex change operation since then? Must have been a fast one since that post was on 12/25/12
