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I moved to New York over a year ago from New Hampshire after graduating college to work as a paralegal while saving up for law school.
Well, all was going well. I found a great apartment, loved the area, and things were going well at work. I just found it really, really hard to meet people. I was attending some singles events, went clubbing, and I was going out to bars with co-workers. No luck.
Late February of this year I was staying late at work as the office was swamped in paperwork and I began working closely with my boss. We hit it off. I found a charming, funny, intelligent, masculine guy who... made me feel special.
We began seeing each other shortly after that (keeping our relationship secret from the office) and things were good. The only thing is he's married (no kids). He keeps telling me that they're separated and going to be divorcing but the fact is... he's married. I feel guilty for sleeping with a married man but I love him.
He wants me to move in with him but I don't know what to do. Do I end the relationship or not?
You cannot possibly believe that ANYONE replying to this post is going to respond with anything like..."way to go dear, you'll certainly be glad you did this"...right?
Why would you think that if things were going well at work, that sleeping with you BOSS would/could make things get any better?
What in God's name are you thinking? You KNOW, in oh so many ways and at so many levels how incredibly wrong this is, not only from an ethical and moral point of view but in the regard that this is a LOSE/LOSE proposition FOR YOU, especially.
What part of the word BOSS don't you get?
Good luck on this one and prepare yourself for the inevitable fallout...when it happens, and believe me it will happen, it's just a matter of when. There goes your first real job in the real world and perhaps you reputation (personal and professional) along with it.
Best regards, sincerely
HomeIsWhere...
Last edited by HomeIsWhere...; 12-29-2012 at 04:17 PM..
Reason: Spelling
You cannot possibly believe that ANYONE replying to this post is going to respond with anything like..."way to go dear, you'll certainly be glad you did this"...right?
Why would you think that if things were going well at work, that sleeping with you BOSS would/could make things get any better?
What in God's name are you thinking? You KNOW, in oh so many ways and at so many levels how incredibly wrong this is, not only from an ethical and moral point of view but in the regard that this is a LOSE/LOSE proposition FOR YOU, especially.
What part of the word BOSS don't you get?
Good luck on this one and prepare yourself for the inevitable fallout...when it happens, and believe me it will happen, it's just a matter of when. There goes your first real job in the real world and perhaps you reputation (personal and professional) along with it.
Really? Are you still employed by him? How did it turn out?
Most self respecting people grow into marriage....but not with someone who they can sleep with too easily. Men want women who challenge and respect themselves. It sounds like an epic fail for the poster.
I moved to New York over a year ago from New Hampshire after graduating college to work as a paralegal while saving up for law school.
Well, all was going well. I found a great apartment, loved the area, and things were going well at work. I just found it really, really hard to meet people. I was attending some singles events, went clubbing, and I was going out to bars with co-workers. No luck.
Late February of this year I was staying late at work as the office was swamped in paperwork and I began working closely with my boss. We hit it off. I found a charming, funny, intelligent, masculine guy who... made me feel special.
We began seeing each other shortly after that (keeping our relationship secret from the office) and things were good. The only thing is he's married (no kids). He keeps telling me that they're separated and going to be divorcing but the fact is... he's married. I feel guilty for sleeping with a married man but I love him.
He wants me to move in with him but I don't know what to do. Do I end the relationship or not?
What's in bold is usually a lie. He's most likey never going to leave his wife and he's just stringing you along.
I moved to New York over a year ago from New Hampshire after graduating college to work as a paralegal while saving up for law school.
Well, all was going well. I found a great apartment, loved the area, and things were going well at work. I just found it really, really hard to meet people. I was attending some singles events, went clubbing, and I was going out to bars with co-workers. No luck.
Late February of this year I was staying late at work as the office was swamped in paperwork and I began working closely with my boss. We hit it off. I found a charming, funny, intelligent, masculine guy who... made me feel special.
We began seeing each other shortly after that (keeping our relationship secret from the office) and things were good. The only thing is he's married (no kids). He keeps telling me that they're separated and going to be divorcing but the fact is... he's married. I feel guilty for sleeping with a married man but I love him.
He wants me to move in with him but I don't know what to do. Do I end the relationship or not?
Pisses me off everytime I see a clueless female wasting her time with ANOTHER MARRIED MAN.
You are in New York City....a place with some of the most eligible single men.....and you are telling me that you can't find one unmarried guy to have sex with.
I have zero respect for women who allow themselves to be a second option. Absolutely saddening.
Dear OP - I hope you have heartbreak insurance as because you'll get the same treatment eventually that he's already probably done to other women in his "stick it in" book.
The odds are against you.
It would be not "as bad" (not that it's good either) if you were doing this with him while being employed elsewhere.
How many times have we said in this forum that it's bad just to date a co-worker???
They are indeed separated and have been so months before we began our relationship. He frequently tells me that they're going to be moving forward with the divorce proceedings soon.
If I break up with him, I feel I'd have to leave the company and paralegal jobs are so hard to come by, there's no way I'd be able to pay my rent and other bills.
So you feel pressured to have sex with your boss in order to keep your job? Sounds like a sexual harassment case to me.
Yeah...I always call up the ex-BF's of women I sleep with to see if they are ok with it.
Makes perfect sense.
Except his "wife" is not a girlfriend or an ex. I think Rakin has it right.
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Really?
