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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Every adult can make their own decisions and live their life as they please, without judgment from me, but I find it completely unnatural for a man to take on responsibility of raising another mans children. It isn't supposed to work that way, it is awkward and ultimately a losing proposition. Watch Lions or other wild animals and how they behave in nature. They kill the pups of another male, before they even secure access to the female for a simple fact that when they have their own, mothers focus can be devoted to their own flash and blood. Believe it or not, humans are animals.
Well, if you're talking about lions, etc the males kill the existing offspring not for the reasons you state, but because it brings the females into estrus more quickly. They won't breed/cycle while still nursing or until the offspring are a couple of years old. Females of humans do not have this limitation (at least not post nursing).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
What's interesting about this thread is that everyone is talking about marrying and taking care of someone else's kids when the subject was just dating. Dating you don't even have to see the other person's kids let alone care for them. So many of these dating threads turn to marriage that I sometimes wonder if it's nearly everyone's end game here to marry.
Very true. It's perplexing. A good chunk of the single mothers I've met have no desire to marry again. Been there, done that. They're looking to date and maybe have a relationship. Of course, most share custody too unlike some perceptions on here.
Very true. It's perplexing. A good chunk of the single mothers I've met have no desire to marry again. Been there, done that. They're looking to date and maybe have a relationship. Of course, most share custody too unlike some perceptions on here.
Pretty much, that fits me to the tee. I have no desire to marry again and I've never taken any dates anywhere near my child. Since we have shared custody, I go out when she's with her dad. Although he kind of made it harder by moving away and out of her school district... so now it's just weekends and half the summer with him instead of weekdays too. But there are always sitters (when I am inclined to date again that is... taking a break as I've so often pointed out).
What's interesting about this thread is that everyone is talking about marrying and taking care of someone else's kids when the subject was just dating. Dating you don't even have to see the other person's kids let alone care for them. So many of these dating threads turn to marriage that I sometimes wonder if it's nearly everyone's end game here to marry.
It's a multilayered problem. The end goal of dating is relationships. suddenly throwing a random guy in to the household and saying "here is your new not daddy kids!" Doesn't work very well.
Marriage is just a legal definition attached, it's not what defines long term commitment.
It's a multilayered problem. The end goal of dating is relationships. suddenly throwing a random guy in to the household and saying "here is your new not daddy kids!" Doesn't work very well.
Why would kids need a new daddy when they already have one? Unless you are talking about women who got pregnant and don't know who the father was... or a deadbeat dad who abandoned his own child. But most fathers aren't like that. Most fathers are good men and love their kids and stick around.
Still, even with a relationship I don't see the need to even introduce kids to the person you are dating if there is no intent to ever marry. Although yes, chances are at some point they might meet him like on a holiday or something or if we take a vacation together. But then, I think I would just do what I did with the last guy I dated: take separate vacations... one for the family that was family oriented and one for the boyfriend that was more romantically oriented.
May I propose/suggest, single parents stay out of the dating pool and focus on raising their kid/s up to adulthood?
Yeah, I know you're going to say get lost, Lol
What I never get are the parents who have babies or small children and are dating. That is just asking for trouble. On POF there are many pregnant women and outside of those guys with pregnant fetishes who else would date them?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
Why would kids need a new daddy when they already have one? Unless you are talking about women who got pregnant and don't know who the father was... or a deadbeat dad who abandoned his own child. But most fathers aren't like that. Most fathers are good men and love their kids and stick around.
Still, even with a relationship I don't see the need to even introduce kids to the person you are dating if there is no intent to ever marry. Although yes, chances are at some point they might meet him like on a holiday or something or if we take a vacation together. But then, I think I would just do what I did with the last guy I dated: take separate vacations... one for the family that was family oriented and one for the boyfriend that was more romantically oriented.
The times I've met the kids of the person I was dating, it was usually briefly and it was 6+ months into the relationship. Most women don't take that step lightly at all.
Usually it was at the insistence of one of the children who wanted to know who mommy was going out with that night.
What I never get are the parents who have babies or small children and are dating. That is just asking for trouble.
What is not to understand? Life goes on. Parents don't spend 24/7 with their children.
When I was a teen I did a lot of babysitting. For a long time I babysat for a couple who liked to party and go to the races on the weekends. My weekend shift started Friday night and went thru Sunday night. As a single parent, I also dated. I also worked some nights. My kids were with a sitter. What's the difference.
In the case of a pregnant woman it doesn't say much for her choosing of men. Doesn't speak highly of men with pregnant exes either. Early years should be spent not worrying about dating.
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