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Old 05-20-2014, 11:43 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,711 posts, read 11,713,374 times
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it's more men who won't date single moms. single dads are like unicorns.
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:45 AM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,114 times
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What I never get are parents who will not date other parents. I had so many dads try to date me because they don't date single moms. Why would they think I'd want them?
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:47 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
What I never get are parents who will not date other parents.

I can only guess that the double coordination is just too difficult. I mean, sometimes when I date a single mom I only really get to spend time with her every other week (maybe a quickie in there too). If there are two separate schedules to align it might be too much.
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:52 AM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,114 times
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Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I can only guess that the double coordination is just too difficult. I mean, sometimes when I date a single mom I only really get to spend time with her every other week (maybe a quickie in there too). If there are two separate schedules to align it might be too much.
I doubt that's the case in most situations. I think it's because the dad either thinks he's all that great, or because he wants someone to help support his kids. Many of these guys told me they didn't want the drama though they themselves had drama.
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:52 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,427,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
Why would kids need a new daddy when they already have one? Unless you are talking about women who got pregnant and don't know who the father was... or a deadbeat dad who abandoned his own child. But most fathers aren't like that. Most fathers are good men and love their kids and stick around.

Still, even with a relationship I don't see the need to even introduce kids to the person you are dating if there is no intent to ever marry. Although yes, chances are at some point they might meet him like on a holiday or something or if we take a vacation together. But then, I think I would just do what I did with the last guy I dated: take separate vacations... one for the family that was family oriented and one for the boyfriend that was more romantically oriented.
It's not that you need to right away, it's that you may have to eventually.

You can't think one day at a time when you have children, You have to account for the future.
You can't just assume your children are going to understand who a new male figure is in the house and call him a friend forever, let alone sweep it under the rug until they have "magically" gained some insight in to make female relations

They do not have the experience or understanding to properly assimilate these types of situations.

Adult children obviously capable of handling the situations on their own accord and understanding.

Last edited by rego00123; 05-20-2014 at 12:10 PM..
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:55 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
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Well, maybe it is different with single dads, but in dating more than a few single mothers, never has one given one little bit of a hint that they are looking for anyone to help support them or their kid(s).
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:59 AM
 
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I don't know about single moms but yes several of the single dads I dated told me they were looking for someone to help support their kids. Maybe it's not common but I ran across it a few times.
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Old 05-20-2014, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,175,502 times
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I don't want to deal with kids. I don't even want kids of my own. I assume when you date someone, even if you love/like them, they will expect you to love and take interest in their children.

Then sometimes kids come 1st when they don't end up with the person they conceived with. I am a believer that with love and a relationship, your partner should be your top priority. But with kids, you can't expect someone new to come right in and take their place. So, I would be second place--which isn't comforting or fulfilling.

Then you have to deal with parent-child drama. Like if the child is a brat, and you think they need discipline, then the parent gets mad and thinks you're abusing their child, or being mean. I am old fashioned, and I do believe in corporal punishment for some occasions, if the act horribly enough--never found it abusive.

Then there's possibility of the child being a brat. They don't like the parent dating, so they act hateful toward you, and you may not be able to retaliate, for reasons I list above, so you just have to put up with it.

My brother's fiance has a daughter, and they get along great. he'll be the step-father. So, that's fine. It's not always a nightmare. But not a risk I wanna take, and I just don't want kids.

If I ever found love, I would hope the guy doesn't mind not having kids so it could just be the 2 of us. Life is hard no matter what. But child-free would go go places when we pleased without hassle, sleep well without tending to kids into the night. I laugh and they do to. But my father said when he and my mother had us, they would wake up angry at each other because we could cry, and neither of them wanted to get up lol.And with money, we could work together, and help each other, get our bills paid, but with a child, or children you have to spend extra money on food for them, doctor visits, college, sometimes kids have to pay for lunch at school.

It's just alot of responsibility that I don't want. And I would just like a nice lifestyle with my partner/husband. So, that's my reason for no kids of my own.
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Old 05-20-2014, 12:10 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,788,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
It's not that you need to right away, it's that you will have to eventually.

You can't think one day at a time when you have children, You have to account for the future.
You can't just assume your children are going to understand who a new male figure is in the house and call him a friend forever, let alone sweep it under the rug until they have "magically" gained some insight in to make female relations

They do not have the experience or understanding to properly assimilate these types of situations.

Adult children obviously capable of handling the situations on their own accord and understanding.
Might just be my own bias is clouding my perception. But I have no intention of marrying or living with a man... so there will be no new male figure in my house (I like and want to keep all my closet space! I will not share! )

Like I said, other than maybe an out of town trip or if he comes over to the house for an evening for dinner or something (and goes home before bed... I can save "those" evenings for when my child is with her dad), I don't see where there is going to be another male figure in the house. Not any more than any of my male friends who come over anyway.
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Old 05-20-2014, 12:14 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,260,493 times
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nothing against divorced women with children but it would break my heart if i were taking up time with a child that belonged to his dad.
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