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I just tend to view single moms as parents who HAD to be responsible, since their stuck being preganant and breast feeding. They form the type of bond that cant easily be broken. Often times a woman's morality to keep the pregnany overrides practicality of taking the back door out and just abort them. And after the child is born, If women could walk away from the child as easily as men do all the time, I believe a lot of them would. However, that is just speculation.
And i look at single dads as guys who CHOSE to be responsible. Everyone and every situation is different. But in my case, I became a father at 19. And my sons mothers parents sat me down before my son was born, and said I didn't have to stay if I didn't want to. No hard feelings and no child support. I opted to stay. My son is about 18. Best decision I ever made. But I have been discriminated on for having a kid. Even though I pay for everything and had a chance to leave early on, I stood up like man. Women in my experience don't see that or don't care. They just say "oh he's got a kid, no thanks." I would think a woman would be like "that's a stand up guy and he has knowledge about babies, child care and rearing, etc."but mostly they say "I want my first child to be with someone who is also a first time parent." Which to me is on sum fantasy type stuff instead of realizing the value and practicality of having a seasoned male leader as your SO and father of future children. Just my story and opinion. I'm sure it's flawed and biased as the everyone else.
Ew, don't pat yourself on the back for doing exactly what you should be doing. I hate that men get credit for sticking around and being in their kids' lives. That should be the default setting.
Ew, don't pat yourself on the back for doing exactly what you should be doing. I hate that men get credit for sticking around and being in their kids' lives. That should be the default setting.
Exactly. I am so tired of single dads telling me how wonderful they are for sticking around. They should be sticking around, guys that don't are scum of the earth. Why so many think they are entitled to childless women is beyond me and it's why I hated online. My profile stated three times I never dated dads yet they still harassed me.
Ew, don't pat yourself on the back for doing exactly what you should be doing. I hate that men get credit for sticking around and being in their kids' lives. That should be the default setting.
I get what you are trying to say, but the bolded comes across as very ignorant.
Exactly. I am so tired of single dads telling me how wonderful they are for sticking around. They should be sticking around, guys that don't are scum of the earth. Why so many think they are entitled to childless women is beyond me and it's why I hated online. My profile stated three times I never dated dads yet they still harassed me.
Look, if a Mother does everything she can to take care of her children and is a great mother, she should be told how wonderful she is! If a Father is always there for his children by providing protection, direction, and love then he should be told how wonderful he is! I get that you want to date a childless person like yourself, nothing wrong with that. But here you come across like you want to knock good parents, which is trifling.
Look, if a Mother does everything she can to take care of her children and is a great mother, she should be told how wonderful she is! If a Father is always there for his children by providing protection, direction, and love then he should be told how wonderful he is! I get that you want to date a childless person like yourself, nothing wrong with that. But here you come across like you want to knock good parents, which is trifling.
I don't knock good parents, I'm just tired of single dads on dating sites who would tell me how wonderful they were. Maybe they are, but still didn't want them.
I am a single dad and I don't want a single mom. Hypocritical maybe. But in my personal experience, the single mom struggles financially a lot. And expects the new guy in her life to pay for her kids. It's hard enough out there without the added burden of another mouth to feed. Heck, it's hard enough just to get along with the SO, but add sum kids into the mix and its even harder.
Example: my cousin married a woman with 3 kids, from 2 guys, and both are nowhere around.
She begged my cousin to move in with her. He did, and now she expects him to pay half the rent.
It's her house, her furniture, her decorations, her kids have all their own bedrooms, etc. He feels as if he should only pay half of what the master bedroom is worth, plus 1/5 of the utilities(5 ppl in the house). She is pissed. He simply feels that all her kids are her responsibility on every level. He works 2 jobs, and has his own 2 kids on weekends. And he never expects her to pay for his kids.
And that's my point. I have dated alot, and never have I asked or expected a woman to buy anything for my son. And what's worse, is that rarely does a woman offer, even at Taco Bell lol. I'm well above average income so it's not a problem but I do take notice.
I just tend to view single moms as parents who HAD to be responsible, since their stuck being preganant and breast feeding. They form the type of bond that cant easily be broken. Often times a woman's morality to keep the pregnany overrides practicality of taking the back door out and just abort them. And after the child is born, If women could walk away from the child as easily as men do all the time, I believe a lot of them would. However, that is just speculation.
And i look at single dads as guys who CHOSE to be responsible. Everyone and every situation is different. But in my case, I became a father at 19. And my sons mothers parents sat me down before my son was born, and said I didn't have to stay if I didn't want to. No hard feelings and no child support. I opted to stay. My son is about 18. Best decision I ever made. But I have been discriminated on for having a kid. Even though I pay for everything and had a chance to leave early on, I stood up like man. Women in my experience don't see that or don't care. They just say "oh he's got a kid, no thanks." I would think a woman would be like "that's a stand up guy and he has knowledge about babies, child care and rearing, etc. "but mostly they say "I want my first child to be with someone who is also a first time parent." Which to me is on sum fantasy type stuff instead of realizing the value and practicality of having a seasoned male leader as your SO and father of future children. Just my story and opinion. I'm sure it's flawed and biased as the everyone else.
Well that's very naive.
Of course they don't care. Why should they? They just see someone with extra baggage. There shouldn't be any problem. They're simply writing you off just like you do to single mothers.
Many of you single parents don't even want each other, so what makes you think childless people should want you?
I would think a woman would be like "that's a stand up guy and he has knowledge about babies, child care and rearing, etc."but mostly they say "I want my first child to be with someone who is also a first time parent." Which to me is on sum fantasy type stuff instead of realizing the value and practicality of having a seasoned male leader as your SO and father of future children.
But see, you are open to having more children. My boyfriend (who has 3 children) fluctuates on whether or not he wants more, but at the last discussion, he didn't want more. Whereas I would love to raise children (biological or not), but since he's not open to it, what do I do? Break up with him to find a man who wants to raise kids with me, or stay with him because I love him and hope that I don't resent him in the future?
I'm using my story as an example. Men who have kids who are open to more are going to be more desirable to childless women. (But like my boyfriend, earlier on he said that he would love to have a kid with me.)
And in fairness, many women do abandon their families...
I wouldn't be open to dating a man who has children but never sees them or has anything to do with them. (I dated such a man in the past, although I think he had some phone contact with them...)
Of course they don't care. Why should they? They just see someone with extra baggage. There shouldn't be any problem. They're simply writing you off just like you do to single mothers.
Many of you single parents don't even want each other, so what makes you think childless people should want you?
Exactly. I've been told I am cold hearted, mean etc because I am not sympathetic towards single dads in terms of dating. Why should I be? I don't have kids, why should I have to date dads? The worst were the single dads who refused to date single moms and would get mad I rejected them. I've never heard a honest reason why I should be open to dating single dads, it's always things like they are more responsible, they are better people etc. Sorry but having kids doesn't make one more responsible or a better person. What it does it means I have to cater my life to the man, his kids and maybe the ex. I may have to give up part of my money for his kids (and in some cases his ex). Sorry, not interested.
Of course they don't care. Why should they? They just see someone with extra baggage. There shouldn't be any problem. They're simply writing you off just like you do to single mothers.
Many of you single parents don't even want each other, so what makes you think childless people should want you?
Well, that sums it up right there. LOL
Quote:
Originally Posted by rumpa
Ew, don't pat yourself on the back for doing exactly what you should be doing. I hate that men get credit for sticking around and being in their kids' lives. That should be the default setting.
I agree, and I don't see how anyone could have an issue with this statement. Men kill me with the "Look, I'm a great dad!" Well....you should be. It's right up there with, "Look, I have a JOB!", and "I have a house/car/ (insert whatever a responsible adult does here)....."
I agree, and I don't see how anyone could have an issue with this statement. Men kill me with the "Look, I'm a great dad!" Well....you should be. It's right up there with, "Look, I have a JOB!", and "I have a house/car/ (insert whatever a responsible adult does here)....."
I do because it's ignorant! Ok think about it like this, lets say YOU are blessed with children someday or maybe you already have them. Then after doing all you could for them and raising them to be good responsible adults, they come back to you later and say, "So what Mom! You Should have done that anyway!" You know you'd be pissed if they said this. Yes dads and moms should be there, but let's not down the ones who actually are.
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