How to deal with infatuation (man, friends, emotionally, interested)
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I agree by the way.....talk to her....she won't bite!!! Well, maybe she will, but thats another story......lol
Look, she is just a woman. Flesh and blood. She is not superhuman! She is probably scared too!
Just talk to her and ask her for lunch. Get to know her. Maybe you will find out something that makes you realise you have been in cloud cuckoo land...or maybe you will find true LURVE!!!!!
you sound like the married woman i am friends with online that i mentioned in my previous post. she gives me all kind of great advice and believes just like you did that i have to communicate more with this woman. i am still bothered by the idea that although i do believe she is single based on what ive heard and observed, she is EXTREMELY attractive for her age and i have heard guys on the job making plays for her. but occasionally in the past i have heard her make reference to someone outside who is a "friend" which bothers me. i have no idea of the extent of the relationship and i would never ask. and when the woman in my work clique who is close with her refers to her as "hey sexy" it drives me crazy with envy it makes me think guys are swarming after her or she has someone. and with Valentines' Day coming up soon my ears will be open to hear if she has anyone. it's just impossible to live with this
I would just try to be friendly with her and pursue a platonic relationship. That way you can casually ask her questions about herself and find out what you want to know. eg Is she single? etc etc You will also be able to gauge better if she has feelings for you or not.
However, to do this you need to be able to put your feelings aside. You can't be getting all jealous or upset if you findout she has a boyfriend/boytoy/friend. She is a grown and 'attractive' woman so it should be no surprise if she is involved with someone. Maybe she is the type that likes to flirt, which is why the women call her sexy, and some men in office make plays for her.
You admit to being 'infatuated' with her and that in itself doesn't sound too healthy to me (I might be wrong). I'm just glad you are trying to get your emotions in check. If I think of any websites that would help, I'll post it. Just remember that you work with her and don't do or say anything that could make things awkward later or bring about office gossip.
youre right these feelings are not healthy. i know myself very well and i will become upset if i find she has someone. for that reason alone it may not be worth it at all.
ive read that if you have problems controlling feelings of infatuation to avoid the person as much as you can and ignore all overtures made. this is exactly what i do.
ive read that if you have problems controlling feelings of infatuation to avoid the person as much as you can and ignore all overtures made. this is exactly what i do.
why can't you just ask her out? she showed some interest before. why didn't you pursue that? is there something wrong with you or her that would make it a bad idea?
as far a eliminating infatuation, i think the answer to that, is that if there is no possibility of the infatuation becoming reality, then the infatuation disappears. so, a rejection from her would do the trick or knowing she is taken or anything else to eliminate the possibility that exist in your mind.
ive read that if you have problems controlling feelings of infatuation to avoid the person as much as you can and ignore all overtures made. this is exactly what i do.
Have you read any self help books? Do you think you would be able to be friends with her without getting more emotionally vested or even possibly hurt?
It might be easier said than done but you shouldn't ignore her overtures, matter of fact you need to pay close attention to her behavior towards you. Also, look at how she interacts with other people especially men. Ignorance isn't bliss. If she isn't interested and you ignore her cues, you are now living in this fantasy of does she or doesn't she? This leads to a total waste of time in the long run. If she does like you, you've still wasted time because you have ignored the truth.
The sooner you see things for what it is, the sooner you will be able to move forward in a relationship or move on.
why can't you just ask her out? she showed some interest before. why didn't you pursue that? is there something wrong with you or her that would make it a bad idea?
as far a eliminating infatuation, i think the answer to that, is that if there is no possibility of the infatuation becoming reality, then the infatuation disappears. so, a rejection from her would do the trick or knowing she is taken or anything else to eliminate the possibility that exist in your mind.
im 50 and she's 58. ive never been attracted to someone this age before. this is totally new for me. shes a nurse practitioner and makes a lot of $$. im a social worker and don't do as well. i see nothing but stylishness elegance and gourgeousness that surrounds her. her niece (who works with us) is a total knockout as is her daughter who i met once. both could be models. im not at all saying i look at them im just saying that this woman im sure probably aspires to the finer things in life and it totally overwhelms me. many of her relatives are doctors and lawyers and she has a big family and im sure any of them can hook her up with a rich accomplished man who is better than me
right now i cannot answer your questions because im so upset but id like to at some point. and i do appreciate your respectful and realistic posts toward me.
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