Anyone here married to a narcississtic husband?

[50 year old non-virgin]

I have been seeing the same LCSW for almost three years now. She has helped me come to this conclusion. I certainly don't want this to be the case, but he has almost all nine characteristics found in a person with NPD. The only time I have ever seen him cry was when he thought I might be leaving him. He has no empathy nor does he feels remorse for the lies he tells that I catch him in. He doesn't think he has a problem, but I am the one with a problem. The first years of our marriage I was very much of a people pleaser and til recently a co-dependent. I thought if I prayed hard enough and was patient long enough and made enough excuses I could fix him.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

That sounds exactly like my daughter's ex. I've never seen anybody shower someone with attention, gifts, etc. like he did while they were dating. It was so overboard, it made me sick. Within literally two weeks after they got married, he started becoming distant. He was more into spending time on his computer than into spending time with her. And she was never smart enough, never a good enough housekeeper, never attractive enough. After a hard day at work, she'd have to re-apply her make-up in the car before coming into the house. Otherwise, he wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. This whole thing was especially hard for me to get my head around, because she grew up in a family with a dad who was the exact opposite of the man she married, and she has always adored her dad.

Is this guy your daughter married Mormon? For that matter, do your kids adhere to your religion? I'm only asking because I thought divorce was not looked upon favorably in your religion and that whatever could be done to avoid a divorce was done, and that all avenues would be exhausted first.

I don't understand how some people are defining narcissist. This guy just sounds like an abusive jerk. I don't think that's a mental health diagnosis. A narcissistic personality disorder is, in fact, a diagnosis.

Yes, it is strange indeed. They say "most girls marry their Dads" and that the converse is true of boys.

[Doll Eyes]

Originally Posted by 50 year old non-virgin

You know the one that exaggerates achievements and talents, the one that believes he is special, the one that requires excessive admiration, the one that has a sense of entitlement, the one that takes advantage of others to achieve his own goals, the one that lacks empathy,the one that is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or the one that shows haughty, arrogant behaviors? if so, I would love to talk.

As far as those highlighted, from what I have observed they are more like inborn traits.

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

Is this guy your daughter married Mormon?

He's her ex-husband now. They were divorced in 2009. He was a non-practicing Mormon.

For that matter, do your kids adhere to your religion?

No.

I'm only asking because I thought divorce was not looked upon favorably in your religion and that whatever could be done to avoid a divorce was done, and that all avenues would be exhausted first.

Both of my kids are divorced. My son was married to a Catholic woman. Yes, Mormonism does encourage couples to try to work things out if at all possible, but that doesn't mean that we condone abuse. In my opinion, a narcissist is abusive by nature.

I don't understand how some people are defining narcissist. This guy just sounds like an abusive jerk. I don't think that's a mental health diagnosis. A narcissistic personality disorder is, in fact, a diagnosis.

Well, I don't suppose very many narcissists have been professionally diagnosed. Possibly, a professional wouldn't have diagosed him that way. I just know that in his life, he was the only person who mattered.

Yes, it is strange indeed. They say "most girls marry their Dads" and that the converse is true of boys.

Well, I'm hoping for better choices next time around for both of my kids.