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I don't think it is that exactly...but, say I meet a nice guy, and we have nothing in common but being in the same nursing home? I should hook up with him because that is all there is?
No thank you.
I wasn't implying that.
It seems only natural to me that people become less shallow as they get older, but I'm in my 30s and I've been wrong about a lot of stuff up until this point.
For instance, a 60 year old woman rejecting a guy who is otherwise good because he's the same height and she wants to wear heels.
You may want to consider older men in their late 60's or even 70's. Men, and I suppose women too, seek out their best option which is often times someone younger. It's just the way it is. For me I sought a woman my age (late 50's), had a great relationship but she ended because she was afraid I would seek out a younger woman. Sometimes you can't win.
You may want to consider older men in their late 60's or even 70's. Men, and I suppose women too, seek out their best option which is often times someone younger. It's just the way it is. For me I sought a woman my age (late 50's), had a great relationship but she ended because she was afraid I would seek out a younger woman. Sometimes you can't win.
Eh, sounds like a pretty lame reason for leaving someone
Hmmm...sort of in the same situation. I'm 53 and a widower for little over 3 years...thinking about trying craigslist just as an experiment. Though I'm older I sort of have 'younger' interests...as in things I like to do...so could be fun just to see what responses I get.
Lame yes, but true. It's difficult for me to understand and I've been working on reconciliation for 5 weeks, with no success. There are insecurities that need to be dealt with on her part, but I can't fix those.
I hit "the market" in my 50s after a 30-year marriage. I really had to force myself to meet members of the opposite sex and not take rejection as a personal humiliation. After I got over that hurdle, i found that the most important thing was to take an interest in the life of the person who i was talking to. It takes real skill to stop talking (or not talking), to listen, and to ask questions of interest to you about that person. I rarely found (find) people to be turned off by this.
It's normal for you to envision being out on a date or even in a relationship with single men who you're attracted to. You're mentally "trying them on for size" so to speak. It's difficult to get back into the dating scene when you're suddenly single again, so take your time with it and just go with the flow. If a guy backs away when you smile at him, it's not a reflection on you whatsoever; it could be that he's extremely shy or introverted or any number of other reasons that have everything to do with him. I think you're going to do just fine! Be yourself, keep on flashing that pretty smile at men who interest you and soon you'll start getting some positive reactions from them. Good luck, OP!
Hey, I don't blame you about the internet thing. I have nothing against the internet dating sites, it's really just another way to meet people, but I would really like to meet someone through a mutual event like being members of a museum or a friend of a friend. Some common ground that is based on interest and not pressured to "date". Whatever happened to people going to dances and getting to know someone before they even dated? And while I would like to be married, I don't want to rush into anything. I want to date and go through that fun process of getting to know someone. I also don't want a guy who needs to be with me all the time. Yes, there are even guys that are like that. I want him to have interest (just not other women) and I can have my interests. Then we can come together at night for a nice dinner and a movie and discuss politics or world event or whatever. Is this too much to ask???
You could try a Meetup group (Meetup.com). There are all sorts of groups out there, so depending on where you live you might find a group of 50+ people who like exactly what you do. There are dining clubs, movie clubs, book clubs, singles clubs for all age-groups, etc. There is no guarantee you will meet someone single, but the worst case scenario is you meet people and have fun (so it's kind of win-win).
Now as for the older man, younger woman bit. I am not really young at 40-years-old, but I am not old either. For some reason, men that are 15+ years older than me seem to think I would be interested in them. I tried online dating for about two months and was flooded with 50, 55, 60, and even 65-year-olds messaging me (well, that and cougar hunters I think). I even put in my profile I was looking for someone +/- 5 years from my age (basically the idea being the man would be someone I went to high school). Then again, I think they mostly ignored my profile anyway since they seemed to think I would like dressing up and going out on the town and to the ballet or whatever (when I am pretty clearly more outdoorsy in my profile).
Anyway, I would have to think those older men must have some luck now and then (or else why would they keep trying). And to be fair, I wouldn't write off a man because of his age--but I would probably have to know him pretty well and be mentally attracted to him first otherwise I am going to think we have little in common.
What about my dreaming of what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone I don't even know? Like someone I see on an elevator or in a store? Do other people do this too?
Kids in high school do it. Singles in their 20s do it. Singles in their 30s do it.....
It's pretty common to have fantasies about someone. The problems come in if/when you get to open the actual package and the profile you built up in your own mind (based on your own desires) do not match the actual person.
The first attractant you have is appearance. And, I believe that is the same for both armies in the battle between the sexes. See someone that really makes an impression on you, and you start thinking about that person. Very common. With the exception of arranged marriages, most relationships start that way. After that, it takes some investigation to find out if the actual profile matches the fantasy.
I hit "the market" in my 50s after a 30-year marriage. I really had to force myself to meet members of the opposite sex and not take rejection as a personal humiliation. After I got over that hurdle, i found that the most important thing was to take an interest in the life of the person who i was talking to. It takes real skill to stop talking (or not talking), to listen, and to ask questions of interest to you about that person. I rarely found (find) people to be turned off by this.
This is true of dating at any age. Why did you only discover this after 50? Men who take no interest in their dates' lives, professional goals, academic interests, etc. is the #1 complaint of university women, according to some studies.
I don't know why taking an interest in your date would take "skill". You'd think it would come naturally. Why would you be dating someone, if you weren't interested in them? This must be a case of men thinking with the wrong head.
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Be yourself, keep on flashing that pretty smile at men who interest you and soon you'll start getting some positive reactions from them. Good luck, OP!
