An answer is sought - why would a single childless woman be upset by this? (children, college)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She likely took it as an insult to her sister, any single parents of kids in her class and as a personal insult. She may not have a child, but she may have had a miscarriage based on the health issues. Being Catholic, she may consider herself to have been a mother.
Well, upon getting to know her, it was a thumbs up in looks, and a thumbs down in personality.
I sort of understood why, while being attractive, she was never much sought after. She was boring. And if someone thought she was going to put out quickly, that would have been out of the question. At this point, I was deeper than that, so that wasn't even a criteria. I couldn't get past her dull and unadventurous personality.
In the ones I write about, that's probably true. That's why I write about them. Because they are RIDICULOUS.
In this case, this chick did not like the person inside, and I can't change that, nor do I want to. I like people who like me for my personality in its current form, and they exist. She was higher on the peaches and cream scale, and that worked for me at the time.
As for the others I've written about, they are all about unilateral trespasses: one who was constantly attempting to set you up, one who is constantly selling religion to you, one who is active in her parish to look for a husband while putting all the guys down, yet lacking in "skills" (you should see who she ended up with - can you spell "learn to love?"), and another one who looks like Janet Napolitano, hates her Daddy, and defends the penultimate one because they have a genital tract in common; fortunately, she is not schooled in law.
Seems like your delivery was off. Perhaps she thought you sounded condescending.
At any rate, it was a social blunder on your part. There's no need to voice your opinion on every grossly generalized type of woman you would and would not date, particularly when you are on a date, and extra special particularly when you know that your date is related to a woman in a category you are about to make a gross generalization about.
Yep, babe, since you and I have never been simpatico, in this case, it was.
A law school student could drive across half of CA with me and enjoy my company, and vice-versa, yet not so here. I fully understand that one will not get along with everybody. Anybody she had ever hooked up with is banal, including husband 1, from what I could read between the lines. She is intellectually challenged, partly proven by her criticizing my verbal and writing abilities. She needed an exit. Interestingly enough, at the beginning of this escapade, she approached me.
Yep, babe, since you and I have never been simpatico, in this case, it was.
A law school student could drive across half of CA with me and enjoy my company, and vice-versa, yet not so here. I fully understand that one will not get along with everybody. Anybody she had ever hooked up with is banal, including husband 1, from what I could read between the lines. She is intellectually challenged, partly proven by her criticizing my verbal and writing abilities. She needed an exit. Interestingly enough, at the beginning of this escapade, she approached me.
So now you are making assumptions about her (reading between the lines) and putting her down? Does it make you feel better to do that because you didn't like her rejecting you first over your comments?
So now you are making assumptions about her (reading between the lines) and putting her down? Does it make you feel better to do that because you didn't like her rejecting you first over your comments?
No, I was questioning this on the way to the movie theater prior to going out to eat, even when I was at her house prior to the movies, playing with her dog. Somebody who is academically smart should be deeper than she is. I was thinking "God, she's nice to look at, but I'm been accustomed to women who are so much more cerebral."
The comments she made about her deceased husband were pretty stupid. I don't feel like writing them out. More disturbing was her detailed telling me how much her father did NOT like him: "My Dad would walk through the room and wouldn't even acknowledge him when he was over at our house."
Isn't this great? The majority of the women on here who don't like me (that's fine, just look at how many of you want me to be a psychologist, per one thread) find a way to justify her rejection based on this comment. Believe me, I've heard other women who I am not interested in respond the same way over this issue. It's some kind of bonding over feeling oppressed. An elderly lady in Seattle who was hearing another situation not involving me, but about women taking sides based on gender, shook her head and said "Yep, they stick together."
It's about values. I probably won't ever have kids. It's not something that upsets me. Yet I have cheerfully dated men with children and have accepted the fact that those children would be a fundamental part of that relationship if it continued. I don't view children as burdens or baggage. The men I date don't view children as baggage or burdens (with one exception - who is now a stepdad to two adorable little girls, ironically). Your viewpoint indicates that you DO view them as such. It's a fundamental difference in outlook, priorities and values. I don't see any cognitive dissonance there at all.
Actually especially if she is a "good Catholic girl" as you say, she has been raised from birth to view children as gifts from God. You think they're a PITA, a drawback. I'm an atheist - but to me the willingness or unwillingness to date someone with kids speaks volumes about an individual's open-heartedness. It's not necessarily a disqualifier, but it makes me sit up and take notice. Now, if someone just doesn't want kids, I don't have a problem with that per se. But if someone wants kids, but is only willing to open their hear to their own blood, then I have a problem.
But for this woman in particular... well, if she wanted children with her husband or her inability to conceive was a great source of grief, your refusal to consider women with children as partners might seem particularly distasteful. She would likely give her eyeteeth to be stepmother to a child and likely takes an active role in her nieces/nephews' lives. And given you expressed "(I would have had a great last laugh if I left her at the restaurant, having her Daddy come fetch her)." your stance may have contributed to general vibe of misanthropy that did not bode well in her eyes.
I think it's kind of like gay marriage. Doesn't affect my life one bit on a personal level. But I could never be with someone who didn't support it. So maybe she doesn't have kids, but she could never be with someone who rejected the idea of being with a single mother because they see kids as a burden/baggage/unnecessary drama. Like I said - values.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
