U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-08-2013, 10:55 AM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,370,747 times
Reputation: 4432

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I'll vote that she felt protective of women like her sister...
My first thought too. I have found since being widowed at 34, I've become incredibly and at times irrationally protective of my loved ones.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-08-2013, 11:01 AM
 
14,743 posts, read 32,853,624 times
Reputation: 8930
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
You asked for feedback as to why she felt that way. Many people have replied, and your responses are to invalidate what they're saying. No one has to be part of a group to feel offended on that group's behalf. And the fact that you lumped all single mothers together as a collective, instead of the individuals they are, does speak to a narrowmindedness that not everyone finds appealing.

If this happened so long ago, why are you clinging to it still?
Because I can ask a whole bunch of people (CD Relationships) rather than a person here or there.

I'm agreeing with the reasons WHY she was turned off by this. I already said that. I was asking for the reasons only. Then it turns on making me narrow-minded or painting with a broad brush. This subject gets even more riled up than interracial dating. A man who does not want his own kids does not want someone else's. I've stood my ground on that one - child free household! She didn't have any, nor could she from what I could see. She needed to evaluate this one-on-one and not, say, me versus her divorced sister. Again, I think neither of us were that comfortable with each other intellectually from the get-go.

So, reasons are welcome. A hit directed at me because it consciously, or subconsciously, impacts YOU is not welcomed. This isn't about YOU.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,607 posts, read 11,625,459 times
Reputation: 29404
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Because I can ask a whole bunch of people (CD Relationships) rather than a person here or there.

I'm agreeing with the reasons WHY she was turned off by this. I already said that. I was asking for the reasons only. Then it turns on making me narrow-minded or painting with a broad brush. This subject gets even more riled up than interracial dating. A man who does not want his own kids does not want someone else's. I've stood my ground on that one - child free household! She didn't have any, nor could she from what I could see. She needed to evaluate this one-on-one and not, say, me versus her divorced sister. Again, I think neither of us were that comfortable with each other intellectually from the get-go.

So, reasons are welcome. A hit directed at me because it consciously, or subconsciously, impacts YOU is not welcomed. This isn't about YOU.
I'm not a single mother so I don't really give a rat's arse. However, simply by virtue of having given birth, you're dismissing a whole segment of women as "having nothing in common with them" because they have children. It's as if they have no other redeeming qualities and could never be the kind of person you could relate to, simply by having a child. That obviously offended your friend, however without asking her, the rest of us are just guessing, so you'll never actually have an answer.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 11:37 AM
 
14,743 posts, read 32,853,624 times
Reputation: 8930
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I'm not a single mother so I don't really give a rat's arse. However, simply by virtue of having given birth, you're dismissing a whole segment of women as "having nothing in common with them" because they have children. It's as if they have no other redeeming qualities and could never be the kind of person you could relate to, simply by having a child. That obviously offended your friend, however without asking her, the rest of us are just guessing, so you'll never actually have an answer.
Into the last date, I found that she had said so many stupid things, that I didn't even want to ask. I was losing interest and certainly did not want to address this issue some 6 miles before the restaurant. What I really wanted to ask about is her health issues, but didn't. I'm assuming it was something neurological. Her conversational abilities were much like a woman stuck in sophomore year of college, and not those of a woman in her 30s.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 11:55 AM
 
Location: in your dreams
19,138 posts, read 19,294,867 times
Reputation: 27264
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post

At any rate, why would this anger a childless woman (who to date has never had a child) in this manner?
I guess everyone needs a cause... Maybe you could hip her to something actually relevant, like gun control or animal abuse.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 12:13 PM
 
14,743 posts, read 32,853,624 times
Reputation: 8930
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
I guess everyone needs a cause... Maybe you could hip her to something actually relevant, like gun control or animal abuse.
I've seen her on FB, with her new married last name appended, and am NOT interested in hipping her to anything. I've also seen what her new Dad, I mean husband, looks like. Very perplexing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,745 posts, read 10,177,925 times
Reputation: 7001
Perhaps you came across as condescending and judgmental and she is overly protective of her single mom sister/friends (a good trait IMO)? Did you also share with her all your negative stereotypes about sorority girls and Marketing majors?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 12:19 PM
 
14,743 posts, read 32,853,624 times
Reputation: 8930
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoCUBS1 View Post
Perhaps you came across as condescending and judgmental and she is overly protective of her single mom sisters / friends? Did you also share with her your stereotypes about sorority girls?
Oh, baby, GoCUBS1 for the win!

Kaching. Kaching. Kaching.

She WAS a sorority girl. However, I never said a word. Her mother was a Southern belle, and probably the reason her father drank, so you could bet your ass that both she and her sister were sorority girls!

And come to think of it, I have never had a good date with a sorority girl. I'm not checklist conforming enough for them once they scrape beyond the initial appearance. Their whole "premise" is that you have to pass muster with their sisters, even when they're 40 and they couldn't locate over half of their sisters! I thought she would have grown past that, but she hadn't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,745 posts, read 10,177,925 times
Reputation: 7001
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Oh, baby, GoCUBS1 for the win!

Kaching. Kaching. Kaching.

She WAS a sorority girl. However, I never said a word. Her mother was a Southern belle, and probably the reason her father drank, so you could bet your ass that both she and her sister were sorority girls!

And come to think of it, I have never had a good date with a sorority girl. I'm not checklist conforming enough for them once they scrape beyond the initial appearance. Their whole "premise" is that you have to pass muster with their sisters, even when they're 40 and they couldn't locate over half of their sisters! I thought she would have grown past that, but she hadn't.
And was she also a marketing major? A bad mix for you. You are dating from the wrong pool of women. Maybe start trolling at Comic Con? Or maybe Sturgis? Probably not a lot of sorority girls there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2013, 12:31 PM
 
Location: NY metro area
7,796 posts, read 16,195,424 times
Reputation: 10802
Hey now!?! What's wrong with marketing majors?!? I missed that part!

Well, my product and packaging must have done me some good because I was able to seal the deal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2023, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top