If you see sex as something not requiring love, how do you change your views? (therapist, feelings)
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I'd really like to know because I'm suffering from that syndrome and seem to disassociate the two. I blame the traumatic incident that happened to me as a child.
I'd really like to know because I'm suffering from that syndrome and seem to disassociate the two. I blame the traumatic incident that happened to me as a child.
Wow, I'm impressed with your self-awareness.
Real cases of this are usually caused by a childhood trauma.
You have to learn to love the person you are having sex with and vice versa. Start with loving that person first before even having sex with them. Take the time to do that and realize that it's okay to have sex with someone you love. Having sex with them does not make them a lesser person.
Seeing a therapist could help too in talking through your childhood trauma.
I'd really like to know because I'm suffering from that syndrome and seem to disassociate the two. I blame the traumatic incident that happened to me as a child.
"Suffering from that syndrome"? There's good sex with love and good sex without love. Lust alone can be an incredible aphrodisiac. You're not "suffering" from anything other than a delusion.
I'd really like to know because I'm suffering from that syndrome and seem to disassociate the two. I blame the traumatic incident that happened to me as a child.
That's because they're only superficially associated. The bare bones of sex is purely for reproduction, there are no feelings required for engaging in the act.
Now, whether or not sex is more enjoyable with someone to whom you have formed an emotional attachment is personal. In order to 'fix' your emotional trauma, I would suggest taking steps to remedy that, and then establish an emotional bond with someone and go from there.
For me, it's not engaging in coitus that is "different" with someone that I have created emotional ties to, but rather pre- and post-coital relations. And even then, I don't view emotional attachment as a prerequisite.
I think emotional intimacy is far better catalyst than "love".
There are many types of love.
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