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Old 01-10-2013, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 3,989,582 times
Reputation: 7811

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It has become fashionable for some people to hide their prejudices in dating by using the word "preference." For example:

"I only date white women. I am not prejudiced against other women; that's just my preference."

"I couldn't date a guy who was under 6 feet tall. I am not prejudiced against shorter men. I just have a preference for men who are taller."

"What advice can you give a heftier guy who wants to meet slim women? I am not prejudiced against heavier women. Some of my best friends are bigger gals. But I do have a preference for slim, fit women with regards to dating."

Let's get it straight. A "preference" is something trivial, like preferring rice instead of potatoes. Automatically excluding droves of people from your dating pool because of superficial qualities like race, height or body type is NOT a preference. It is a prejudice, pure and simple.

Yes, people have a right to their prejudices. But they should at least have the courage to admit they are prejudices. They should stop trying to minimize them by calling them preferences.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:05 AM
 
12,589 posts, read 14,745,931 times
Reputation: 15164
My preference is not to answer.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Orlando
8,178 posts, read 17,156,428 times
Reputation: 49813
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
It has become fashionable for some people to hide their prejudices in dating by using the word "preference." For example:

"I only date white women. I am not prejudiced against other women; that's just my preference."

"I couldn't date a guy who was under 6 feet tall. I am not prejudiced against shorter men. I just have a preference for men who are taller."

"What advice can you give a heftier guy who wants to meet slim women? I am not prejudiced against heavier women. Some of my best friends are bigger gals. But I do have a preference for slim, fit women with regards to dating."

Let's get it straight. A "preference" is something trivial, like preferring rice instead of potatoes. Automatically excluding droves of people from your dating pool because of superficial qualities like race, height or body type is NOT a preference. It is a prejudice, pure and simple.

Yes, people have a right to their prejudices. But they should at least have the courage to admit they are prejudices. They should stop trying to minimize them by calling them preferences.


So who should they date? People they aren't attracted to?
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:41 AM
 
14,323 posts, read 11,220,364 times
Reputation: 17797
It is a prejudice since that word means to pre-judge. The real question should be is it wrong or bad? Personally, I think it is closed minded and stupid to care about race. But it makes sense to not be interested in unhealthiness.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:46 AM
 
3,614 posts, read 3,198,823 times
Reputation: 910
"Fat chicks need not apply."

Given two equal women in all respects but one, I will choose the women who fits my preference. If it's between one with a high-school education and one with a college degree, all other things being equal, I'd choose the one with a college degree. I prefer people with college degrees. Does that make me prejudice? Hardly.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:49 AM
 
1,866 posts, read 2,409,558 times
Reputation: 1461
I have a "preference" when it comes to dating. I mean, I try to be open, but when do you do when you are just not attracted to certain people? Unfortunately, that is my situation and there is nothing that i can do about it.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Durham, NC
25,155 posts, read 36,041,151 times
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So it would make you feel better if you were rejected by someone who was "prejudiced" against you instead of not "preferring" you?

I think if there is one area of life people have the right to prejudiced, it is in dating.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,882 posts, read 2,226,680 times
Reputation: 3400
I honestly could care less. I will not concern myself with anyone that doesn't want to be with me, whether it is their preference, prejudice, choice or whatever. People have a right to not like someone no matter how thought out or stupid the reason may be, and I am not going to waste time figuring out why they think the way they do or change their mind about it. This is a big place with lots of people, for every person that doesn't like you for how big you are, or what race you are, there are tons of others who will like and love you for exactly who you are. We spend too much time focusing on people who don't like us, and want to argue with them and debate them, and totally ignore the great people behind us who are just dying for an oppurtunity to love us as we desire. I don't need nor desire the whole world to like me or want me, all I ask for is that those do, to love me for who I am.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:04 AM
 
3,636 posts, read 2,929,576 times
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This was already done in this thread here.

The Op may be sick to death of prejudice he imagines hiding behind every preference. I myself am just sick of people seeing prejudice everywhere just because people happen to want different things to them. If YOU want to date all women from all races then that is great for you. Go for it. Someone not sharing that position however is not automatically prejudiced, biggotted or racist.

I will be with whomever I want - I will not be with those I do not want - and no amount of over (and erroneous) application of the linguistics of imaginging oneself to be "PC" is going to cajole me to be otherwise.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 3,989,582 times
Reputation: 7811
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny Sue View Post
So who should they date? People they aren't attracted to?
Not at all. I am just asking that we be honest enough to call our prejudices prejudices instead of using silly euphemisms like "preference."

I am not innocent of this. I have prejudices of my own. For example, I would almost certainly not be willing to date anyone religious. I have y reasons for this, but it is a prejudice, not a preference.
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