What do you think about this guy? (dating, how to, women)

[hardasice]

(warning: long!!)

So about 2 weeks after I broke up with my pathetic excuse for an ex , I went to the barn I used to ride at and met a guy...
He's very...different. From any other guy I've ever dated. Maybe in a good way.
And still I feel like something's off...
Maybe it's just because I got used to being treated badly by every guy I've been with but this guy seems really weird to me...
He drove me home that same day we've met, and didn't even try to give me a good night kiss (which was weird...I'm used to guys expecting even much more than a kiss even on the first date).
It's been 3 days and he called me and texted me each and every one of them.
He calls me "princess" and is asking me to do the same (like, literally...ASKING.)
He didn't really try to have sex with me but when the subject came up and I said I wanna wait, he DID ask "how do I know you won't say later and later and later?"
The thing that seemed the weirdest was that on our 2nd date he said he loved me (WTF?! )
I don't even know if he even believes it or just wants ME to believe it but either way it's weird.
On our 1st date we went to this cinema/shopping center, we were planning to sit in a bar but it was closed...instead we just walked around and went into a photo booth, when it was time to pay for the photos he "somehow" didn't find his wallet. It was only a couple of bucks so I didn't mind but I couldn't help but imagine what would of happened if the bar wasn't closed...I don't mind splitting the bill but making me pay for both of us is just...wrong.
Maybe he really did just forget his wallet, but what if he didnt?
You see, another thing that bothers me is that I'm older and more stable than him.
I'm only 1 year older but I have a stable job and my own apartment...he dropped out of school, is living with his parents, jumps from one job to another and doesn't seem very responsible...he knows he can relay on his parents. (which I can't) In other words, I'm the "adult" in this relationship.
He's talking about stuff like "we'll have kids" "moving in" etc.
Can't help but wonder if he's a reverse gold digger :P
It's really...weird.
On one hand I always wanted someone that will give me nicknames, take me out on dates (actually GOING places...not sitting home together all day), call me and actually be INTERESTED in what I have to say (and he is...I feel like I can actually have a conversation with him.)
Then again, I'm not used to this kind of thing...I guess I'm not used to guys treating me well.
And the age thing bothers me...the youngest guy I've EVER dated was 6 years older than me.
They all had their own car, their house , a job etc.
So I kind of feel like I'm dating a kid.
And the whole "I love you" after 2 days is a little fishy...
What do you all think?

[the_dimwit]

First, he's not treating you well by putting you in uncomfortable positions (e.g., "I love you", "I forgot my wallet", "we will have kids one day"...etc.). He's looking for a solution to his problems, and you're it. I suspect you've given him an idea of your past relationships, and he may be playing off your emotions.

You're just coming out of a relationship, so why not give yourself some time and let this guy go? If you want to be friends with him, fine. But to engage someone in his state would be risky at best.

Just my 2 cents...

--Dim

[Beejay24/7]

I think you should be careful, listen to your gut, some abusive people do this to reel their victims in. He could be a genuine nice guy or he could be a predator only time will tell, in the meantime keep your heart and your valuables safe

[JrzDefector]

Sweetie, I'd run like my hair was on fire. This guy has a lot of hallmarks of a manipulator or worse. At best, he's extremely immature. I strongly suspect he senses your current vulnerability. I also strongly suspect that he is the last thing you need right now.

[hardasice]

Originally Posted by the_dimwit

First, he's not treating you well by putting you in uncomfortable positions (e.g., "I love you", "I forgot my wallet", "we will have kids one day"...etc.). He's looking for a solution to his problems, and you're it. I suspect you've given him an idea of your past relationships, and he may be playing off your emotions.

You're just coming out of a relationship, so why not give yourself some time and let this guy go? If you want to be friends with him, fine. But to engage someone in his state would be risky at best.

Just my 2 cents...

--Dim

I think you might be right.
Although I didn't mention a thing about my past relationships or my past experiences...and I'm being pretty cold towards him...
Like I'd do anything so my ex would give me a nickname but when the new guy calls me "princess" it only makes me think..."yyyeaa... "
I'd die to get a photo with me ex (he'd always get mad) but I'm not that excited to take photos with this one...
Generally he's accusing me of being cold (which I agree I am).

I also didn't want to get involved with anyone at this stage, but things happen...
And now I wouldn't know how to let him down nicely even if I wanted to...
I'm not a dumper...I'd actually rather be dumped.
I'm too nice I guess. And I hate that about myself.
I know ya'll right , and I know I should listen to my gut (last time I ignored it I got myself into a lot of trouble.)
But what if he really is a good guy?I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I hurt him...ugh...

[jim9251]

I know your 6th sense is telling you RUN AWAY. Might want to listen. "I love you" on the second date? I see control, insecurity, possessiveness in your future with this guy.

[mainebrokerman]

after the second date,,,the I love you's fly- dont agree to another date, he'll probly give you a ring, or something to that affect... I bet he has an uncle thats a notary that can marry,
you must make quite an impression on a guy ...lol

if he has no job and still lives at home,,,im sure his parents are coaching him,,,so he can move in with you-

i'd be telling this guy,,, to go back to playing his video games... and move on,

many more and better bull's in the pasture...

[ja1myn]

Move to a different country and change your name.

[Jack D. Serrano]

There are a whole lotta warning signals this guy is sending you.
It's been said before: Trust your gut.

Any guy telling you he loves you after such a short period of time should set off major alarm bells.

His "waiting" (yet trying to extract a future promise of sex) with regards to sex is something else that doesn't sit well from my point of view.

Some guys pressure women into sex by pushing and pushing and pushing.
Some guys pressure women into sex by playing the nice, caring, 'not into you for sex' card.
(Usually the latter of the two are more sexually inexperienced, but don't let that fool you into thinking that he isn't emotionally manipulating you as bad or worse than the stereo-typical player.)
Different sides of the same coin.

A cool guy who has his act together (and isn't chasing after you for sex) isn't going to make a big deal about sex, whether it happens on the 1st date or the 20th.

You have all the information you need to make a good decision for yourself: He is financially unstable, emotionally insecure, and generally not an "adult".

Feel free to date him in order to enjoy yourself and have fun with dating (if that's what you want) but I recommend you avoid getting into any emotional or committed relationship with him like the plague. There are a lot better guys out there for you.

-Jack

[gymRAT3311]

Ppl like this guy are really good at sensing when someone's the ppl-pleasing, too nice type. He sees an opportunity to take advantage and charm his way into a free ride. Please pass him by.