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Old 02-04-2013, 01:03 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 2,012,074 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
They tried that. She's determined to wipe him out.

What I came here to ask was whether this was normal for a divorce. The delays, lack of communication, behavior of the lawyers etc. That's the input I'd like.
This is the legal reality of modern divorces. The process drags on until both individuals agree on how to settlement property and child custoday/visitation issues. In this case it's just property division, but sounds like that don't agree, so the case will drag on until they do or until one of them "gives up" on the other's demand. And, yes, the lawyer's are just clocking time and charging until they do. Best if the parties just get together to figure it out on their own (without the lawyers) and then turn to their lawyers and say "here are the terms we agreed to, we both want out and this done soon", then both should become unyielding in not straying away from that position. The more they chant together "we want it this way and we want this over quickly", the faster you will get the results, and both shouldn't be shy about calling and leaving messages every 10-14days to remind the lawyers that's what they want.

There are avenues to complain about an attorney's conduct and representation, but that won't solve the problem in this case. Good luck.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:39 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,202,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
I am not meddling. My brother is not very computer savvy and asked me if I could help get some insight into this. He will be contacting the Oregon Bar Association on Tuesday to see if they can help. I'm just trying to find out for him if this is normal lawyer behavior or should he be questioning their actions.
Generally a divorce isn't settled until an agreement is reached. Sounds like they are still quibbling over finances, which can hold a divorce up indefinitely.

I cannot explain his soon to be ex not supposedly knowing about the court date. It can drag out......if his wife hasn't paid her attorney, things like this can hold the final paperwork up.

He may want to go in person rather than emailing. Go with your brother, sometimes it helps to have supportive family in case he missed hearing something or has misunderstood something


Be aware that calls, emails and anything that requires a response from your attorney is yet another charge against the retainer.

Once the two agree, then the final papers are drawn up and submitted to the court, and the judge signs and it is a filed judgement. Unless they go ahead and have a trial, which then has the judge is deciding monetary settlements, etc.
Good luck on this
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:42 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,202,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
How about your brother arranges a meeting with his wife and her lawyer only. Then they all sit in the room and work out a settlement?

Or better yet, your brother meets with his wife, works out a settlement, then meet with the better of the two lawyers to "write it up". Tell the other lawyer he is no longer needed. That way they are not racking up lawyer's fees while negotiating.

And the thing to tell the wife is "Let's work this out now, then we can both get on with our lives".
The wife's lawyer can't do that. They could have used one attorney intially...And that attorney represents one of them....but the work etc represents both their wishes.
They each have different attorneys of record...can't talk to each others clients.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:48 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,202,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gvillesux View Post
all he has to do is push for a court date, the "she did not know" excuse will not fly more than once or twice and the judge will then settle it. sure he will pay his lawyer a little more now, but it could save 10X that later.
Yep. Sounds like the wife doesn't have the money for the trial, your brother pushes, she'll have to take what he is offering...end of story.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:51 PM
 
2,732 posts, read 3,584,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
My brother's divorce is dragging on and on and it just seems like one or both of the lawyers are incompetent. It's a pretty simple divorce. No minor kids, jointly owned home and about $4000 in debts. My brother's lawyer called to tell him it was settled the day before they were supposed to go to court. Turns out his wife knew nothing of the court date or the settlement and put the brakes on everything. She wants 60% of his retirement and $300 a month alimony along with the $4000 debt. He wants to take on all the debt, give her 40% of his retirement and no alimony.

The problem is that there seems to be no time limits for getting things settled and getting his lawyer to communicate with him is like pulling teeth. He'll email her and ask what's happening and she'll email that she'll talk to the wife's lawyer. Then she asks for more money. Isn't it the wife's lawyers job to lay it out for her what she can and can't get and urge her to either settle or set a court date? And doesn't my brothers lawyer have an obligation to respond to him in a timely manner and keep the process moving forward? This has gone on since last July. He wants to settle it so he can re-finance the house and get on with his life. He can't afford to keep shelling out money to this lawyer who seems to be doing nothing for him.

Advice, anyone?
I have bad news for you. Lawyers are not your friend (even though you pay them!). They will purposely drag things out over a long period of time, and instigate fights, in order to buy more time in effort to drain your bank account.

As far as what to do, go here to this forum and ask the same question: Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum - Index page
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:12 PM
 
3,805 posts, read 6,353,637 times
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Update... my brother has pushed for a court date and one has been scheduled. He disputed the most recent bill and the lawyer totally backed off. We'll see what happens from here.
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Old 02-05-2013, 07:21 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,672,493 times
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It's also good to read up on state laws because alimony and division of property can vary state to state. If you how the judge is going to determine who gets what, it can end some of the fighting. The wife might not even care if she ends up with less if her goal is to get revenge, that's the problem with divorce, it can be pointless trying to get this or that because of state laws but the lawyers don't care about the laws, they care about the money.
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Old 02-20-2013, 01:48 AM
 
194 posts, read 300,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
Many of them are liars and the scum of the earth if you ask me!
Nobody did.
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