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My brother's divorce is dragging on and on and it just seems like one or both of the lawyers are incompetent. It's a pretty simple divorce. No minor kids, jointly owned home and about $4000 in debts. My brother's lawyer called to tell him it was settled the day before they were supposed to go to court. Turns out his wife knew nothing of the court date or the settlement and put the brakes on everything. She wants 60% of his retirement and $300 a month alimony along with the $4000 debt. He wants to take on all the debt, give her 40% of his retirement and no alimony.
The problem is that there seems to be no time limits for getting things settled and getting his lawyer to communicate with him is like pulling teeth. He'll email her and ask what's happening and she'll email that she'll talk to the wife's lawyer. Then she asks for more money. Isn't it the wife's lawyers job to lay it out for her what she can and can't get and urge her to either settle or set a court date? And doesn't my brothers lawyer have an obligation to respond to him in a timely manner and keep the process moving forward? This has gone on since last July. He wants to settle it so he can re-finance the house and get on with his life. He can't afford to keep shelling out money to this lawyer who seems to be doing nothing for him.
Why the hell are they using expensive lawyers instead of an inexpensive mediator?
My ex and I had a much more complicated and acrimonious divorce, but one thing we had in common is that we are both cheapskates. We paid a mediator $800 each for a 4 hour session in which we hashed out a compromise, presented it to each of our lawyers as a final settlement agreement, and we were divorced just a few weeks later. All our lawyers had to do was file the paperwork and stand up in court with us.
Staying out of the legal affairs of others-especially when you don't know the full story--is generally advice worth taking.
I am not meddling. My brother is not very computer savvy and asked me if I could help get some insight into this. He will be contacting the Oregon Bar Association on Tuesday to see if they can help. I'm just trying to find out for him if this is normal lawyer behavior or should he be questioning their actions.
Why the hell are they using expensive lawyers instead of an inexpensive mediator?
My ex and I had a much more complicated and acrimonious divorce, but one thing we had in common is that we are both cheapskates. We paid a mediator $800 each for a 4 hour session in which we hashed out a compromise, presented it to each of our lawyers as a final settlement agreement, and we were divorced just a few weeks later. All our lawyers had to do was file the paperwork and stand up in court with us.
Total cost to me, about $2300.
I don't know why. Perhaps because they live 5 hours apart. And his lawyer said she could do it all for $1800 unless they went to court.
How about your brother arranges a meeting with his wife and her lawyer only. Then they all sit in the room and work out a settlement?
Or better yet, your brother meets with his wife, works out a settlement, then meet with the better of the two lawyers to "write it up". Tell the other lawyer he is no longer needed. That way they are not racking up lawyer's fees while negotiating.
And the thing to tell the wife is "Let's work this out now, then we can both get on with our lives".
They tried that. She's determined to wipe him out.
What I came here to ask was whether this was normal for a divorce. The delays, lack of communication, behavior of the lawyers etc. That's the input I'd like.
They tried that. She's determined to wipe him out.
What I came here to ask was whether this was normal for a divorce. The delays, lack of communication, behavior of the lawyers etc. That's the input I'd like.
Of course it is. Attorneys charge by the hour The more they stir the pot and create unresolved conflict, the bigger their fee.
Yes I've had lawyers (for other matters) promise to have things done within a certain amount of time. Asked them before hiring them "When could you get this done?" "Are you too busy to do this?"
They say "Sure I can get that done by such and so date!"
Then they don't get it done - don't call me back, etc. Many of them are liars and the scum of the earth if you ask me!
Also some lawyers will take cases, then NEVER do a thing with them. Just let them sit on the shelf. Never tell the person they have no intention of working on their case anytime soon.
Therefore I would MUCH rather deal with the inflexible wife than the lawyers. Or if she is being unreasonable, then insist on going to court ASAP.
first attorneys get paid by the hour- not by the job, its to their interest to drag things out
divorce and divorce attorneys set you up for war...
however, if they can settle the assets between them, then they can tell the lawyers what to write up
if contested divorce,,then its a minefield-
I like the mediator idea- but divorces are highly emotional-
in my divorce, we settled the assets together and told the lawyer this is what we want..the lawyer disagreed- I could get more- I told the lawyer, if i went for more, the shhit will fly and land on the kids head,,not gonna happen...
and that was that
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