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This thread probably isn't going to be anything like what you thought it was from the title, but here we go:
A few days ago, I took a girl on our first date and it went really well. Afterwards I ask about a second date and she says yes. We're to the point where we're sitting next to each other on the pew every Sunday and hugging each other like 5 times in the 2 hours before men and women separate. So I'm thinking I've got this perfect setup, and then today after church she says she doesn't want to go on a second date simply because she wants to date a lot of people.
Another time, I asked a girl and she said yes, then 2 weeks later I find out it switched to no because she thinks I'm too old for her(I'm 23, both girls above are 18.)
And then, yet another time, pretty much same thing as first paragraph, but dragged out over a month. I kept saying we should go on a second date and she kept saying things like "yeah, sometime." And then I finally find out that she's just not ready to date anyone due to her friend dying in a motorcycle crash 2 days after the first date(I knew about the death and held off for about a week.)
Why can't most women simply say no the first time I ask or the first time I mention a second date? I know they don't want to hurt my feelings but I'm a grown man and I can handle rejection. What I don't like is thinking I have a perfect setup and then finding out I don't, or being stalled out over 2 weeks or more.
It's important to note that I am LDS and as such, am referring to the LDS dating world in Utah. The main things about the LDS dating world that differ from most of the rest of the world are:
Sex is automatically assumed by both parties to not even be an option until after marriage.
Both parties are typically looking for their eternal companion and are usually more marriage focused than most people.
A LOT of people are unsure if they like you and act exactly that way.
When you're sure, you act sure. When you're not sure, you act flakey/wishy-washy/hot-and-cold/mixed messages/confusing. They are not always aware of their own uncertainty but ALWAYS want more time to decide if they really like you or not, and often times, they think they are entitled to more time.
It's taxing to deal with someone who is unsure, especially if you're sure about them, so it's your decision on whether you can deal with this or not. Maybe you'll think it's worth it the emotional ups and downs, maybe you won't.
Probably because people can't make their own decisions or think on their own these days. They need to ask other people or ask on forums like this what to do...
...and if you read this forum, any little flaw with someone and they tend to say "Throw it away and get a new one!"...
ore.
It's important to note that I am LDS and as such, am referring to the LDS dating world in Utah. The main things about the LDS dating world that differ from most of the rest of the world are:
Sex is automatically assumed by both parties to not even be an option until after marriage.
Both parties are typically looking for their eternal companion and are usually more marriage focused than most people.
Sorry as I don't mean to go OT or anything, but a person can be non-LDS and also certainly believe wholeheartedly, in the bolded portions above...I personally believe very strongly as well in what the OP cited in his post above
Also my apologies to the OP, as I am afraid I really don't have useful advice to give though as to his main question, other than that I can definitely understand what you're going through (has happened many times to me in the past, as well), and that I definitely wish you the best of luck in your future romantic endeavors...
Sorry as I don't mean to go OT or anything, but a person can be non-LDS and also certainly believe wholeheartedly, in the bolded portions above...I personally believe very strongly as well in what the OP cited in his post above
Also my apologies to the OP, as I am afraid I really don't have useful advice to give though as to his main question, other than that I can definitely understand what you're going through (has happened many times to me in the past, as well), and that I definitely wish you the best of luck in your future romantic endeavors...
Very true, but I wouldn't know it with the way pop culture just pushes sex, sex, and more sex. My apologies if I sounded self righteous or something.
This thread probably isn't going to be anything like what you thought it was from the title, but here we go:
A few days ago, I took a girl on our first date and it went really well. Afterwards I ask about a second date and she says yes. We're to the point where we're sitting next to each other on the pew every Sunday and hugging each other like 5 times in the 2 hours before men and women separate. So I'm thinking I've got this perfect setup, and then today after church she says she doesn't want to go on a second date simply because she wants to date a lot of people.
Another time, I asked a girl and she said yes, then 2 weeks later I find out it switched to no because she thinks I'm too old for her(I'm 23, both girls above are 18.)
And then, yet another time, pretty much same thing as first paragraph, but dragged out over a month. I kept saying we should go on a second date and she kept saying things like "yeah, sometime." And then I finally find out that she's just not ready to date anyone due to her friend dying in a motorcycle crash 2 days after the first date(I knew about the death and held off for about a week.)
Why can't most women simply say no the first time I ask or the first time I mention a second date? I know they don't want to hurt my feelings but I'm a grown man and I can handle rejection. What I don't like is thinking I have a perfect setup and then finding out I don't, or being stalled out over 2 weeks or more.
It's important to note that I am LDS and as such, am referring to the LDS dating world in Utah. The main things about the LDS dating world that differ from most of the rest of the world are:
Sex is automatically assumed by both parties to not even be an option until after marriage.
Both parties are typically looking for their eternal companion and are usually more marriage focused than most people.
I used to get down about these kinds of things too.
One thing you have to remember when dating is to not put the cart before the horse. Nothing is happening until it is physically happening in this moment. Promises and agreements don't mean much.
What I mean is: don't get your hopes up.....and stop caring.
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