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Old 01-21-2013, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,610 posts, read 4,539,007 times
Reputation: 1473

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I've been seeing this guy for about three months now and we spend most of my free time together when I'm not at work. But I've discovered that my clothes just arent' fitting like they used to and I realize that my eating patterns have changed rather noticeably. Many nights I used to come home from my very long day and just skip dinner altogether and when I did cook it was usually just half a chicken breast or a small piece of fish and a fist full of salad. But my new boyfriend is a really big guy (over 6'4") and he just needs more food than that to be satisfied and so I find myself cooking much bigger meals. Adding to that is the fact that he is a great cook as well and his recipes are anything but calorie-conscious. He also is a "snacker" and is always picking up "treats" to have at my house for when he's there. Help!!! I need some advice on how to get back to my previous way of eating without starving him or hurting his feelings. Has anyone else faced this problem and if so, how did you deal with it?
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:49 AM
 
2,495 posts, read 3,936,049 times
Reputation: 4896
I dont see anything in your post about exercising so perhaps (in addition to portion control on your part), you need to the FIND time to exercise....
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:51 AM
 
4,228 posts, read 6,565,166 times
Reputation: 5350
You should make time for an exercise regiment. If you know you are going to see him, go to the gym first. Put in like 30 mins of work out time and then you can join him. Also, saying no and offering to cook meals that are more in your comfort zone isn't a bad idea.
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Old 01-21-2013, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,610 posts, read 4,539,007 times
Reputation: 1473
I go to the gym at least three days a week as I did before we started dating. He has a really bad knee that will be operated on later this year but in the meantime he just can't participate with me in any kind of fitness activites such as walking or going to the gym (can't even get up to the second floor where the fitness equipment is). I'm just not used to the rich foods he prefers plus he is very "Southern" in that he does things like have bread with most of his meals and wants hearty breakfasts with bacon, sausage, eggs and biscuits. I like tea and toast... I know he wouldn't want me to feel obligated to indulge in the same way but not only is it bad for me but he's not doing himself any good with such a regimen.
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Old 01-21-2013, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Calabasas, CA
634 posts, read 900,082 times
Reputation: 826
You say this is a "New Boyfriend" so it really shouldnt be TOO difficult because he shouldnt be living with you. If he is, then I say you are making a mistake with him because it seems like his lifestyle/nutrition choices are far different than yours.

If it were me, I'd just say "I dont do unhealthy food, so either limit the amount of junk you bring to my house, or let me suggest some healthier alternatives." You need to do this or Lane Bryant will definitely be in your future.
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Old 01-21-2013, 08:23 AM
 
30,430 posts, read 36,829,016 times
Reputation: 41106
I know exactly what you are talking about. The people suggesting the gym aren't getting it. I am at the gym 5 days a week, and I do some pretty strenuous workouts. That's been my standard for many many years. To then change eating habits (eating more) naturally will cause weight gain. My BF absolutely eats differently than I do. He probably eats less than most guys, but still, quite a bit more than I do. I rarely eat dinner, unless I ate very little all day. He likes dinner every night - and he loves my cooking. So even though I make dinner for him on those nights we are together, and tell myself that I am not going to eat, I usually do, because it's hard to make a good meal, and then not sit down with him to eat. And he loves me to make sweets too...and usually I am okay with that when my son is here since he wolfs everything down. But now that my son is at college, I don't like having that crap around. As a result, I have gained a few pounds in the last year, and it really pisses me off. So I've told my BF, no more. I cannot eat every meal with him. He is going to have to realize that my body will not burn off calories like his does. So dinner might be something heated up, or I might tell him to just go get himself something if he is hungry. I can't eat when he does. Not doing it any more. He is understanding, and promised that he will not encourage me to eat when I tell him I am not hungry.

As someone that just cannot eat a lot of food, this has always been a major issue for me when dating. It's easy to say that I just need to spend more time at the gym...but then I wouldn't have any time left for him.
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Old 01-21-2013, 08:31 AM
 
2,495 posts, read 3,936,049 times
Reputation: 4896
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I know exactly what you are talking about. The people suggesting the gym aren't getting it. I am at the gym 5 days a week, and I do some pretty strenuous workouts. That's been my standard for many many years. To then change eating habits (eating more) naturally will cause weight gain. My BF absolutely eats differently than I do. He probably eats less than most guys, but still, quite a bit more than I do. I rarely eat dinner, unless I ate very little all day. He likes dinner every night - and he loves my cooking. So even though I make dinner for him on those nights we are together, and tell myself that I am not going to eat, I usually do, because it's hard to make a good meal, and then not sit down with him to eat. And he loves me to make sweets too...and usually I am okay with that when my son is here since he wolfs everything down. But now that my son is at college, I don't like having that crap around. As a result, I have gained a few pounds in the last year, and it really pisses me off. So I've told my BF, no more. I cannot eat every meal with him. He is going to have to realize that my body will not burn off calories like his does. So dinner might be something heated up, or I might tell him to just go get himself something if he is hungry. I can't eat when he does. Not doing it any more. He is understanding, and promised that he will not encourage me to eat when I tell him I am not hungry.

As someone that just cannot eat a lot of food, this has always been a major issue for me when dating. It's easy to say that I just need to spend more time at the gym...but then I wouldn't have any time left for him.
She obviously didnt paint the full picture in her initial post so the response up to that point was appropriate. However, in light of the latest info, the bolded will be my suggestion. If he doesnt feel the need to eat healthy....then that is HIS problem.
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Old 01-21-2013, 08:37 AM
 
15,724 posts, read 19,257,968 times
Reputation: 12801
I don't have the same eating habits as my husband (or my kids). We sit down as a family every night to dinner and I do cook what they like to eat but a lot of the times I eat my own food.

My family doesn't necessarily eat unhealthy, but I don't eat beef or pork products at all and I eat very limited dairy. When we grill chicken I always throw a few extra breasts on the grill so I can refrigerate/freeze a few for myself.

When they have pork I take 1/2 a chicken breast out for myself. When they have steak I almost always have salmon. Sometimes I just don't eat the main dish and stick to the veggies and a salad (I always serve salad at dinner). Some nights, I don't eat dinner but I'll have a glass of wine and sit with them and talk.

As for the snacks and sugary drinks, well I just don't buy juice, soda, chips, cookies, ice cream, pudding, snack cakes..etc. It's rarely in the house. We snack on fruit, veggies, hard cheese, wheat crackers, yogurt, nuts..etc.

Just because he's there with you doesn't mean you have to eat the same food. When you go out to a restaurant you don't order the same dish, do you? So why feel pressured to eat the same things at home?
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Old 01-21-2013, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,909 posts, read 9,881,314 times
Reputation: 13038
Try the no food diet. It only take 3-6 weeks.
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Old 01-21-2013, 08:50 AM
 
30,430 posts, read 36,829,016 times
Reputation: 41106
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy* View Post
I don't have the same eating habits as my husband (or my kids). We sit down as a family every night to dinner and I do cook what they like to eat but a lot of the times I eat my own food.

My family doesn't necessarily eat unhealthy, but I don't eat beef or pork products at all and I eat very limited dairy. When we grill chicken I always throw a few extra breasts on the grill so I can refrigerate/freeze a few for myself.

When they have pork I take 1/2 a chicken breast out for myself. When they have steak I almost always have salmon. Sometimes I just don't eat the main dish and stick to the veggies and a salad (I always serve salad at dinner). Some nights, I don't eat dinner but I'll have a glass of wine and sit with them and talk.

As for the snacks and sugary drinks, well I just don't buy juice, soda, chips, cookies, ice cream, pudding, snack cakes..etc. It's rarely in the house. We snack on fruit, veggies, hard cheese, wheat crackers, yogurt, nuts..etc.

Just because he's there with you doesn't mean you have to eat the same food. When you go out to a restaurant you don't order the same dish, do you? So why feel pressured to eat the same things at home?
I don't even like to eat out, because they just don't have meals that I feel are worth the money for what I can eat. So that IS a problem, for me. Guys like to eat out. I don't. I do buy chips, and soda, and I make cookies...yes, that is pretty normal for my house. But I have it for my son, and my BF. They both get pretty cranky without any snacks around. I love yogurt, my BF hates it. I love eggbeaters, the BF hates them. He wants to go out to breakfast at Waffle House - it's one of his favorite treats. So I go and just watch him eat? Yeah...that's pretty hard to do. I'd rather not go!!
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