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Let's say your girlfriend got an abortion when she was younger. She told YOU that, and you are okay with it.
For some odd reason, your mother found it out from other people and take it as a reason that she (the girlfriend) is dishonest. and your mother asked you to dump her for good.
Obviously, you and your mother would have different views on your girlfriend. Would you dump your girlfriend just because your mom tells you so?
This is becoming a bizarrely specific hypothetical. Just tell us what actually happened, rather than asking us to guess what we might hypothetically do if our mothers did something they would likely never do in response to a situation that would likely never happen to us in the first place.
I get the idea you're wanting us to tell you that the mother is being unreasonable, but we can't really determine that without knowing more about her, knowing more about the girlfriend, and knowing more about the situation. I feel sorry for the guy, regardless, because it sounds like he has a difficult mother, a difficult girlfriend, or both.
I heard in some cultures where helicopter parents really coo their baby boys into their late to mid-30s, the mother really wears the pants in the family and dictates who their son proposes to. Assuming we're talking about ethnic minorities in the U.S. (ex- in Korean American cultures) where very traditional parents are still stuck back with values from the motherland their level of power and control over their children can be very strong (i.e., career decisions, cars, etc., etc.)
BUT- I still don't buy into the belief that the mother ultimately decides who the son shall marry, especially living here in the U.S. I highly doubt most sons will marry someone who's not his type if his mother insists.
OTH, if the girl is drop dead gorgeous and aligns with who he is as a person (possible match making success- as in both families are really involved), I can see the guy going for the girl and dumping his current GF for the bride-to-be set up. It's happened before, and people who complain that it was the "mom's fault" fail to realize just how not into the girl the guy really was, mom or not.
I heard in some cultures where helicopter parents really coo their baby boys into their late to mid-30s, the mother really wears the pants in the family and dictates who their son proposes to. Assuming we're talking about ethnic minorities in the U.S. (ex- in Korean American cultures) where very traditional parents are still stuck back with values from the motherland their level of power and control over their children can be very strong (i.e., career decisions, cars, etc., etc.)
I am from one of those cultures and let me tell you, my mother doesn't boss me around ... it is more from the standpoint that we are integrated into each others lives and all part of the same "team". Hard to find someone who can blend into that, as the American culture is to maintain separation and more superficial.
Now as to the part about the values of the motherland, lots positives. Children on a pedestal, not a lot of dysfunction, no baby mommas/baby daddies and whatever else is deemed acceptable in American society ... would never be tolerated and yes, they always exerted control over this aspect of life ... but so what?
Bottom line is that no, choice of mates is not micromanaged, but would someone put their foot down and veto some of the less selective aspects of American culture infiltrating the family? You betcha.
I did, once, when I was 16. My mother, who was from one of the oldest families in our New England town, found out that I was messing around with a second-generation Italian girl, and proceeded to lecture me on the evil ways of Italians. Then she set me up with a local girl from a proper Yankee family who went to private school. It turned out that this girl was even hotter than the Italian girl.
Moral of the story: Your mother is always looking out for your best interests.
I can't think of any reason a parent would a. necessarily know about a private discussion or disclosure between two adults who are in a realtionship and b. if the parent did somehow find out, would feel they had the right to weigh in on it, unsolicited.
If the parent's opinion WAS solicited, you've got a bigger (potential) problem than a butting-in parent, you've got a kid who is perhaps overly dependent upon the parents' input. Perhaps. Some people will always give their parents' opinion great weight, lifelong. It can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing, depending on how healthy the person's relationship is with his or her parents.
I don't know. I have a good relationship with my parents, and certainly solicit their advice when I feel I need it. But I do make my own decisions on what is best for me, and as I am an adult, my parents really wouldn't gainsay my decisions.
I can't think of any reason a parent would a. necessarily know about a private discussion or disclosure between two adults who are in a realtionship and b. if the parent did somehow find out, would feel they had the right to weigh in on it, unsolicited.
If the parent's opinion WAS solicited, you've got a bigger (potential) problem than a butting-in parent, you've got a kid who is perhaps overly dependent upon the parents' input. Perhaps. Some people will always give their parents' opinion great weight, lifelong. It can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing, depending on how healthy the person's relationship is with his or her parents.
I've dated a few men whose mothers influenced their lives A LOT (more than they should have).
Their mothers never flat out told them to dump me, but if they didn't like me, they made up lies and created situations which put me in in a negative light on purpose. Their mothers made it unbearable for them to date me and still be close to them at the same time. Lots of ultimatums, "you spend Christmas with her, dont expect to see me" etc.
"Would men dump their GF because their mom told them to?" - not if she is hot
"Would men dump their GF because their dad told them to?" - not if she is hot
"Would men dump their GF because their dog told them to?" - not if she is hot
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