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Old 01-22-2013, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15955

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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
This is very true.

Of course, it may be that he doesn't want to date her anymore and is just using his mom as a convenient excuse. Either way, he's not much of a man.
Thanks everybody for answering this question.

Giving this thread some thoughts, I believe that we are just not compatible with each other.

several things I notice about this mother are the following

A. SHe absolutely LOVED me at the very beginning of our relationship (even pushed for marriage)

B. As soon as I contradicted her, she told my ex that I was no good

C. She used the following statement, "Remember your ex wife? Lily started reminding me of your ex."


It was always other people's problems, not her and her sons.

I think my boyfriend (ex) is a good guy, and I hope for his own good, he can act like a 38 year old grown man. We have been broken up (I initiate it) for several days now, of course I still miss him occasionally, but I think I will live.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15955
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
I've dated a few men whose mothers influenced their lives A LOT (more than they should have).

Their mothers never flat out told them to dump me, but if they didn't like me, they made up lies and created situations which put me in in a negative light on purpose. Their mothers made it unbearable for them to date me and still be close to them at the same time. Lots of ultimatums, "you spend Christmas with her, dont expect to see me" etc.
I completely understand what you are talking about. His mother always says to me, "Don't put my son in the middle?" IN the middle of what? she did not even make sense!!!

I have VERY good relationship with my parents and ironically speaking, I had very GOOD relationship with most of the guys I dated in the past. The only exception has been my current ex.

If I mentioned him again, somebody would attacking me for "makign the same post over and over again." quite frankly, I don't know why they keep on reading my post if I am boring them.

anyway, this mother loved me, but as soon as I contradicted her, she went crazy. I think she has strong control issue, and a sick son and a minor granddaughter make her very paranoid. (understandable reasoning but poor excuse in my opinion)

She did not really make up lies or anything, but she suspect and question anything that I did. For example, I speak fluent Italian, and she saw that as a big red flag because how can an AMerican woman speak such good Italian. She told my boyfriend I might not be what I say I am. Man, she is crazy.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:08 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
I have VERY good relationship with my parents and ironically speaking, I had very GOOD relationship with most of the guys I dated in the past. The only exception has been my current ex.

If I mentioned him again, somebody would attacking me for "makign the same post over and over again." quite frankly, I don't know why they keep on reading my post if I am boring them.
I thought the mods warned you for starting the same topic over and over? Personally, I read your threads because the train wreck amuses me.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15955
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
I can't think of any reason a parent would a. necessarily know about a private discussion or disclosure between two adults who are in a realtionship and b. if the parent did somehow find out, would feel they had the right to weigh in on it, unsolicited.

If the parent's opinion WAS solicited, you've got a bigger (potential) problem than a butting-in parent, you've got a kid who is perhaps overly dependent upon the parents' input. Perhaps. Some people will always give their parents' opinion great weight, lifelong. It can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing, depending on how healthy the person's relationship is with his or her parents.

I don't know. I have a good relationship with my parents, and certainly solicit their advice when I feel I need it. But I do make my own decisions on what is best for me, and as I am an adult, my parents really wouldn't gainsay my decisions.
I have the similar relationship with my own parents, therefore, when I first started dating him I view the closeness between him and his mother as a very good thing.
But very soon, when his mother started sending him romantic poem and asked him to call her when he went out, things started getting weird.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:40 AM
 
5,460 posts, read 7,746,080 times
Reputation: 4631
A resounding no. Who I love is my business, not a parent's...
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:05 AM
 
211 posts, read 171,464 times
Reputation: 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post

B. As soon as I contradicted her, she told my ex that I was no good
No offense, but have you considered that YOU might be the problem?
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:08 AM
 
Location: California
35 posts, read 43,809 times
Reputation: 34
Maybe ask why she feels that way and look into it if it involves feelings of abuse and such. Wouldn't throw her off just like that.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,462,475 times
Reputation: 15955
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnzyteBob View Post
No offense, but have you considered that YOU might be the problem?
yes I have.

I am not a saint. never said I am.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:50 AM
 
5,654 posts, read 5,143,709 times
Reputation: 5624
guys, will you dump your girlfriend because your mother tells you so?

Hahahahaha.... haha... ha........... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one.

Oh, your serious.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:56 AM
 
2,758 posts, read 4,949,850 times
Reputation: 3014
Regardless of gf's coming and going, Mom should always be there. As adults, she should respect your decisions. She may not agree with them.

A mom trying to control who her children date is a huge red flag, as long as there is no physical abuse, or something extreme.

People don't always get along. But who we date isnt mommys decision.

My mom has given me incredible incite about women sometimes. And sometimes she is extremely wrong.
I take those conversations like every other convo i have. Thanks for your time, but I will make my own final judgements.

Oh, OP, if a guy dumps a girl cause mom says so, then he just did you a favor. You Don't want any part of that long term anyway. If he does that for mom, how else is mom controlling her son or daughter?
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