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Old 01-22-2013, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,363 posts, read 20,856,027 times
Reputation: 15645

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I think she could be uncomfortable with your advances (i.e your attempt to kiss her).
Eh, any woman that timid probably doesn't have any business dating anyone.
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:21 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,435,336 times
Reputation: 4958
I'm seeing "I'm not ready to date" as her polite way of letting you down gently.

Not kissing.
Avoiding even a peck on the cheek.

A "I feel bad" hug doesn't equate to a real hug.

She paid for more than half the meal means it was a friendly casual hang out.
Social ambiguities behind politeness as opposed to a flat out "No."

You are acquaintances at best.
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:48 AM
 
4,039 posts, read 3,798,925 times
Reputation: 4103
Wow I just did the exact same thing. Went on a date, it was cool, guy texted me later to hang out, and I realize I'm just not feeling it. Don't feel ready to date and/or just not that into him.. Maybe someone else I might be more interested in, but I'd rather be alone than be with someone I'm not that into.
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Old 01-23-2013, 02:43 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,930 posts, read 11,768,211 times
Reputation: 13170
Don't take it personally: you're not her kind of guy.
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Old 01-23-2013, 02:58 AM
 
650 posts, read 703,876 times
Reputation: 280
She liked you then she thought it over and stupidly/dumbly thought "If I can hook this guy then I can do better".

Let the idiot go, with that kind of warped mind, her picture'll be on the singles wall of the dating site till 2053.
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Old 01-23-2013, 06:28 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,300,729 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Badger55 View Post
First, the date:

On Saturday I had dinner/drinks with a cute 30 year old on POF. (I am 24). She was a little quiet at first, but after a beer and some appetizers, she was very talkative, interesting, and pretty funny too. She has a career and everything. No kids.

She is super indie and has a lot of tattoos. Listens to hipster music and chit. Before we met, we were talking to get to know each other and I told her to watch Parks and Rec, and she loves it now, so +1 for me there.

I walked her to her car, gave her a hug. Went in for the kiss, and she laughed and blushed. Kinda turned away so I went for the cheek. After a quick peck on her cheek, she pulled me in again for another hug.

I had a nice evening. Bill came to 15, I paid 5. She insisted she pay more.

We planned that night to meet again on Friday (this coming Fri):

Now:
We've been texting back and forth since the date, just things about how our day has been and stuff. She's been very receptive.

All of a sudden today, we are texting, and:

she says, "I'm not very good at this."
And I say, "what?"
"Dating, and communicating. I get really stressed out."
"Well, I've only met you once, but I think you're good at dating. I had a lot of fun."
"Right, but it SHOULDN'T make me stressed out, you know what I mean?"
"Yes, I know. Maybe we can talk through it?"
"I just don't know if Im ready to date in my life right now"


What do I make of this? Am I the one stressing her out? I try not to text her to often, only like once a day since our date.
I don't know why this happens either OP. It's happening with a lot of men and women and making both groups question themselves. It sounds like you did everything right and for one reason or another, she doesn't want to take a chance on you.

Chemistry is something you can't fake; however, I think you can have chemistry with just the wrong guy or gal. Sadly, that person usually doesn't know that the person is bad, it's the people on the outside that notice the person is bad. It's a vicious cycle and some people are addicted to it, and don't even know it.....
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Old 01-23-2013, 06:31 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,300,729 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Considering it started online, she probably found someone else that she feels is a better match and wanted to let you down easy.

Thus is online dating...there's always someone better out there.
Amen, which is why I stopped. Seemed like a lot of work for something that just didn't go very far.
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Old 01-23-2013, 08:23 AM
 
Location: NC
11,241 posts, read 8,353,399 times
Reputation: 12517
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimbo28 View Post
Ehhh, whatever, don't think much of it. See if she still wants to meet Friday, then see how things go. It's only one date, it went well, you did nothing wrong - if she decides to flake out or act silly, not much you can do. Don't start prodding her about her thoughts and feelings, that'll just give her more reason to pull away. Control what you can, my friend...about all you can do.
Agree with this. Just go out and have some "no pressure fun". You have no idea what is on her mind. Maybe she's afraid of getting hurt, or maybe she's lost interest. If you like her, then pursue, but know you have to back off some. If you are not interested, then move on.... Whatever you do, don't push to hard, because apparently, even if she wants to be, she's not ready yet.
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Old 01-23-2013, 08:25 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,228,989 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Eh, any woman that timid probably doesn't have any business dating anyone.
It may be she is wary of where the relationship is going, or whether she really likes the OP that way, or whether she wants to get into another romantic situation, not necessarily she's a timid person.
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:05 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,134,296 times
Reputation: 11797
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Considering it started online, she probably found someone else that she feels is a better match and wanted to let you down easy.

Thus is online dating...there's always someone better out there.
Agree with Jet! This is why I hate online dating. I think if you have even a halfway decent time with someone you should see them again. But a lot of people if they have ANY doubt will just move onto the next person. Saying I'm just not ready to date is one of the lamest cop out excuses I can think of. What in the hell are you doing on a dating website if you're not ready to date? I'd delete her number and move on to someone who doesn't text you lame excuses.
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