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First of all I want to thank everyone for reading this.
I know there are similar stories on here, but I still have the need to write all of this down so I can see if maybe, just maybe someone can help me out.
I met a guy a year ago online and we've been talking for a while, than we decided to see each other a few times. During that time, I fell in love with him, he also told me several times that he fell in love with me.
We've been together two months (living together) I'm also 6 weeks pregnant.
However, since I've come to live with him its a different story. He quit his job so now I work, he is in debt over his head. Yes, he told me about it, the problem is he only told me half his problems!
One week into our living together he started fighting, everything bothers him, the way I walk, the way I talk, the way I eat, the way I drink, EVERYTHING! When I told him I'm sick and tired of him and want to leave he wont let me.
He has a gun in the house and every time we fight he uses it to scare me.
I just found out I'm pregnant and he pushed me on the bed twice already, we fight all the time and when I go to work its like going on vecation because I can't stand him anymore!
In one hand I love him so much but I dont know what to do any more, I'm afraid because everytime I say that I'll leave he tells me that he'll find me and kill. Weather that's now or in 20 years. He also tells me that he'll send the Russian mafia after me so they can kidnap me and have me like human trafiking...
I've had one similar bad relationship and from that realtionship I have a kid, the first guy was DEFFENETLLY not as bad as this one, but this seems beyond my control and I trully dont know what to do.
Sometimes, I think if I knew how to use a gun I'd kill myself so that I'm safe from him that way, but than I think what would my kid do without me?
I think he is mentally ill, I've mentioned that to him several times that he needs to see a dr, he says he will but than he doesnt. He watches movies all night and sleeps all day. When I confront him about it or say that I'll tell his family he turns all abusive on me and tells me that Obama or McKain can't help me and that if I leave him he'll kill me.
I tried leaving him a few times, because I don't want to leave him behind his back I just want to talk to him and leave him, you know, settle it nicely but its impossible. Than he gets on his knees starts crying and tells me he loves me. I know its a lie, he loves his ex girlfriend I'm only with him because he knows he can use me because I love him and needs the money I make.
I just moved here two months ago, I dont know the area well, I just know how to get to my job and back. He always tells me he has ppl following me. I know that may not be true because with what money does he pay? But yet, I think maybe he has some money hidden from me that I don't know about and he uses that when I'm not around. He even uses my car.
I wanted to call the cops once, but than realized where the heck would I go with the economy the way it is.
Just the other day, he pushed me on the bed and got on top of me to hit me, but than he didnt.
I've been abused 18 years by my parents, than 3 years by my ex fiance, now by him, sometimes I think how the heck am I suppose to be normal?
With my last ex I told in front of the cops that I'll kill him if he dont leave me alone so I got a misdemeanor for that and its on my record for 7 years, this guy knows my past, I've told him everything and I think that's why he is to me like this because he knows that I'll still stay with him, the problem is, I dont know a way out. All the doors are closed.
You owe it to the child that is born and the child that is not born to have a stable safe envirnonment for them to live. Do you want your children to endure what you grew up with? That's not fair to them at all. Sometimes no father is better then having a father. YOU are no mother if you stay with this man. You do have doors, they might not be the ideal door right now but in my opinion you have no choice but to leave. Run as fast as you can as hard as you can and never look back. Go to a church, go to a womens shelter, go somewhere!!!!!!! There are people that will help you.
Please make the right decision for your children, I beg you for them. Love them more then you love yourself and him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You feel like killing yourself? Are you serious? You are a mother....it's not about you anymore....it's about your children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Start making some smart decisions, like using a condom, getting to really know someone before you not only move in with them but get pregnant.
Sounds to me like you are the only one your children are going to have to depend on.......give them a fair start in life starting NOW. You can do it. I got pregnant at 17 by a joke of a man, never received a dime from him....I worked and I made it. I now have a great life with 3kids and a wonderful man. I'm so thankful I did not stay in that relationship. Getting out of it was one of the hardest things I ever did and there is not a day that goes by that I'm not thankful that I did it. You can do it too. I believe in you!!!!!!!!
Just FIND a shelter and go to it, NOW! You need some serious long term counseling before you make a total wreck of your life. I can see being slammed all over the place for this next comment but I'd suggest you have an abortion.
First piece of advice: Get the F--- Out! Easier said than done, of course. But you're in a dangerous situation and you need to be far removed from it. Can you take a couple of days off from work?
Also, is this his child? Either way, at this point my primary advice is to vacate. I'm sure others will be chiming in with some very useful advice. I just don't know where to start. But I will say that I'm sorry you're experiencing this.
You owe it to the child that is born and the child that is not born to have a stable safe envirnonment for them to live. Do you want your children to endure what you grew up with? That's not fair to them at all. Sometimes no father is better then having a father. YOU are no mother if you stay with this man. You do have doors, they might not be the ideal door right now but in my opinion you have no choice but to leave. Run as fast as you can as hard as you can and never look back. Go to a church, go to a womens shelter, go somewhere!!!!!!! There are people that will help you.
Please make the right decision for your children, I beg you for them. Love them more then you love yourself and him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You feel like killing yourself? Are you serious? You are a mother....it's not about you anymore....it's about your children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Start making some smart decisions, like using a condom, getting to really know someone before you not only move in with them but get pregnant.
Sounds to me like you are the only one your children are going to have to depend on.......give them a fair start in life starting NOW. You can do it. I got pregnant at 17 by a joke of a man, never received a dime from him....I worked and I made it. I now have a great life with 3kids and a wonderful man. I'm so thankful I did not stay in that relationship. Getting out of it was one of the hardest things I ever did and there is not a day that goes by that I'm not thankful that I did it. You can do it too. I believe in you!!!!!!!!
I know you're trying to be helpful, but I don't think the admonishing is really going to get her anywhere at this point.
First of all I want to thank everyone for reading this.
I know there are similar stories on here, but I still have the need to write all of this down so I can see if maybe, just maybe someone can help me out.
I met a guy a year ago online and we've been talking for a while, than we decided to see each other a few times. During that time, I fell in love with him, he also told me several times that he fell in love with me.
We've been together two months (living together) I'm also 6 weeks pregnant.
However, since I've come to live with him its a different story. He quit his job so now I work, he is in debt over his head. Yes, he told me about it, the problem is he only told me half his problems!
One week into our living together he started fighting, everything bothers him, the way I walk, the way I talk, the way I eat, the way I drink, EVERYTHING! When I told him I'm sick and tired of him and want to leave he wont let me.
He has a gun in the house and every time we fight he uses it to scare me.
I just found out I'm pregnant and he pushed me on the bed twice already, we fight all the time and when I go to work its like going on vecation because I can't stand him anymore!
In one hand I love him so much but I dont know what to do any more, I'm afraid because everytime I say that I'll leave he tells me that he'll find me and kill. Weather that's now or in 20 years. He also tells me that he'll send the Russian mafia after me so they can kidnap me and have me like human trafiking...
I've had one similar bad relationship and from that realtionship I have a kid, the first guy was DEFFENETLLY not as bad as this one, but this seems beyond my control and I trully dont know what to do.
Sometimes, I think if I knew how to use a gun I'd kill myself so that I'm safe from him that way, but than I think what would my kid do without me?
I think he is mentally ill, I've mentioned that to him several times that he needs to see a dr, he says he will but than he doesnt. He watches movies all night and sleeps all day. When I confront him about it or say that I'll tell his family he turns all abusive on me and tells me that Obama or McKain can't help me and that if I leave him he'll kill me.
I tried leaving him a few times, because I don't want to leave him behind his back I just want to talk to him and leave him, you know, settle it nicely but its impossible. Than he gets on his knees starts crying and tells me he loves me. I know its a lie, he loves his ex girlfriend I'm only with him because he knows he can use me because I love him and needs the money I make.
I just moved here two months ago, I dont know the area well, I just know how to get to my job and back. He always tells me he has ppl following me. I know that may not be true because with what money does he pay? But yet, I think maybe he has some money hidden from me that I don't know about and he uses that when I'm not around. He even uses my car.
I wanted to call the cops once, but than realized where the heck would I go with the economy the way it is.
Just the other day, he pushed me on the bed and got on top of me to hit me, but than he didnt.
I've been abused 18 years by my parents, than 3 years by my ex fiance, now by him, sometimes I think how the heck am I suppose to be normal?
With my last ex I told in front of the cops that I'll kill him if he dont leave me alone so I got a misdemeanor for that and its on my record for 7 years, this guy knows my past, I've told him everything and I think that's why he is to me like this because he knows that I'll still stay with him, the problem is, I dont know a way out. All the doors are closed.
You need professional help honey, not the help of strangers on an internet forum.
I'm sorry you were an abused child, but you are a mom now and have a huge responsibility to protect your children and do better for them than was done for you.
You need some extensive therapy before you EVER allow yourself to get involved with another man. Do not trust yourself to choose wisely without some therapy.
But before you can do that you need to address the immediate issue - your personal safety. Call your local police or sheriff's department information line and ask them how to contact a women's emergency shelter. DO IT TODAY.
Let the professionals at the shelter help you thru the process of getting away from this abuser and getting your life on track. Hopefully they weill set you up with the resources you need to start making better choices.
I've looked online for some women shalters... none of have a place for now.
I've also just started working so don't have a lot of money for gas and things.
@Joy333, tell me something I don't know.
First of, I am planing on aborting this pregnancy, but I don't have the money to do it, how? Where?
The first guy I've known for 5 years and been with him 3, wouldn't you think you'd know him enough?
With this one, he swore on his neices life that he'd never hurt me, plus he mentioned that he loves kids, so it would be crazy not to believe. Besides, I loved him and just wanted to try it out.
On top of all of that I've used the plan B for protection.
When you are in a sitaution where you dont see an out and someone tells you things he tells me, believe me, in that moment you'd think the same thing. You may not have to do it, but you'd think of douing it.
@STT Resident - abortion is in question, have a few dr appts Thursday.
@Professor Griff - I can't take anytime off I just started three weeks ago. Yes its his child.
Thank you all for the comments. Please don't think that I wont do anything about it and every comment counts.
Women who are abused are at high risk of being murdered by their abusive s/o.
Get out now, however you can and do NOT go back. Do not listen to the lies of he will change or the b.s that he loves you so much. NO ONE threatens to kill or beats a human being they love.
I saw you say you love him and then go on to explain how he treats you. Please reread what he does to you and ask yourself what exactly do you love. Ask yourself if you could get your life back together and have the hope of finding a man who could truly love you and not want to hurt you but want to protect and cherish you, if you think that would be worth protecting yourself now and not living a life in fear or worse ending up dead.
Please be careful for yourself and your baby that may be born. I've known far too many women who were abused and it didn't stop even though the promises came and the declarations of love. I know women who were beaten worse when they were pregnant. One apartment complex I lived at, we got to hear a woman downstairs screaming for help and being beaten by her boyfriend. We helped her, he was taken away and she took the pos back. It didn't stop there.
Find a women's shelter and see if they can help you with resources. Heck if you have to, find a pro-life group and see if they will help you find resources to take care of yourself and your baby, just make sure you make your own decisions. Carenet pregnancy center I think was one that might be able to help or have resources. It's worth a try. Churches are also a resource.
Not that I'm categorizing you in the same situation or comparing you to someone else. Just that there is some very good advice in that thread that I think will also help you.
As for you planning an abortion, not that the opinion of strangers matters on such a personal matter, but you considering it tells me you are aware of the risks to yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially should you carry the pregnancy to term, and honestly, I cannot blame you one bit. In your shoes, I would do the same.
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