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I would (and did). I made up for my low libido by trying to please my partner other ways. Even if I didn't get turned on by it, the fact that she did made me enjoy it and made it worthwhile.
I believe that you fall squarely where I put you. You don't want to solve any problems. You want to whinge that you are forced into the nunnery by your body and the mean ol' men who just want penetration. Here is my comprehensive advice for all the issues that it looks like you face:
- Make an appointment with a psychologist and get screened for depression. It would be helpful also to see if you could turn your negative feelings about yourself around. (Broken, not normal...) There is NO WAY your body is going to be able to respond, even under the best technique, if your mind is AFU.
- Do some reading online about the g-spot. It occupies a pretty small space. And play. Fingers are fine for clit self pleasuring. But unless you are a contortionist, they aren't so helpful on the g-spot. A rabbit ... something else.
- Get some books on female sexuality and reproductive biology and read them.
- In earnest, don't read on line forums. They are rife with people with crappy attitudes and misinformation. That includes me.
S
What are you, a doctor? How dare you suggest she talk to a health professional because something might be amiss? Shame on you for thinking you know what's wrong with her!
With the exception of redberry and Doll Face and a few others I think most are pretty not-accepting.
Lilac especially offended me. I considered all the possibilities including frustration in personal relationships as she posited, as the reason for my lifelong lack of sexual desire and none of them make sense. You could say that I was a paraphiliac, but the effect is the same thing. In most other respects besides this I am perfectly normal. I consider myself perfectly capable of loving, and seeking a romantic relationship with another person, that goes beyond being "buddies", and I know a lot of older couples who have been married for decades who are now platonic and it seems incredibly offensive and dismissive to call these people "buddies" as Lilac does. Since Lilac is so concerned about the academic and psychological communities, where is your citation that platonic marriages have devolved into two people being "buddies"? Please cite the academic source.
As to everyone else: What is so special about sexual desire, that you can't have a relationship without it? Isn't it just another physical sensation? Who really cares? Is this what love is really based on? So if your wife for whatever reason was in an accident and her clit was horrifically destroyed, you would stop loving her? I must have never understood what love means.
First, your comparison to people who were in accidents is a false analogy because usually people in those situations still want sex, or at least to please their partners sexually even if they had to find new ways to do so.
Second, no, I wouldn't consider a partnership of roommates a marriage, and I would dump or divorce a man who didn't want sex and saw nothing wrong with that. If I wanted a roommate, I'd live with a woman. They fart less and don't leave whiskers in the sink. You may not like my thoughts on that, but that's of no concern to me. Go find a woman with a dysfunctional sex drive and you won't have any problems. The rest of us do indeed care, because we prefer a healthy sex life and know the joy it can bring to two people, especially in a relationship or marriage. Trying to explain that to someone who claims asexuality and superimposes his issues on everyone else by asking them "who cares?" is like trying to explain color to someone who has never opened his eyes and insists that there's no point in seeing.
And you say my posts are offensive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeetJuice
Sorry about that, I read it before but forgot it. All of Lilac's posts about asexuality not being real / being a disorder threw me off while I was scrolling through this thread.
Nope. I didn't say it wasn't real. I did say that doctors and psychiatrists deem it a disorder.
Ever hear the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger?" If not, I suggest you become familiar with it. Whether I agree with the medical and psychiatric establishments is nearly irrelevant, but that I wouldn't bother to respond on this thread the way I have if I didn't. As I've said to others, if you have a problem with the prevailing viewpoint, take it up with the people who do the research and write the papers and manuals. Being offended at me won't accomplish anything, except maybe get you on the subway if you have a few bucks.
most guys i meet aren't into it. they prefer penetration
Quit it already. I'm starting to think you're trolling.
I am having the most amazing sex with my current gf. It's incredible. She keeps telling me I'm the best lover ever and she has had the best o's ever in her life. She's 48 and has a comparison base. However, I'm not that good. Really, no one is. For some reason, her pleasure is such a turn on it's like my singular focus in life and getting mine is an afterthought. I haven't been like that with all women. It's just chemistry or something.
Point is, you can find something like that. As with most things in life, you get out of it what you put into it. Focus entirely on his pleasure, be the best little sex **** that ever walked the earth. Sometimes. Other times, it's your time. Be assertive. Maybe even a little dom. Tell him what he's gonna do and make him do it. Let him know you enjoy it. Nothing makes me want to keep pleasuring a woman more than seeing her feeling the pleasure. Nothing makes me want to stop quicker than seeing no visible reaction and wondering if I'm wasting my efforts.
yes, i will report him for implying that i'm a lesbian because i dont enjoy penetration. its a stupid suggestion. there are plenty of lesbians who enjoy sexual intercourse..
Get over yourself. Stupid suggestions are not a violation of the terms of service. Nobody said anything vulgar to you. Nobody propositioned you. Grow up.
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