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Most people that I know are with people relatively close to their own age. A few couples that I know with a big age difference met when the woman was in her late 30's and the man was in his 40's or 50's. I don't know any couples with the woman in her early 20's and the man in his 40's or 50's.
Most people that I know are with people relatively close to their own age. A few couples that I know with a big age difference met when the woman was in her late 30's and the man was in his 40's or 50's. I don't know any couples with the woman in her early 20's and the man in his 40's or 50's.
I have to agree with this post.
Now my parents had a little age gap. When I was born, my mother was 38 and my father was 52. A fourteen year age difference. When they met, they were both mature, grown-up individuals. I guess they met 3 years or so prior to that.
Most people that I know are with people relatively close to their own age. A few couples that I know with a big age difference met when the woman was in her late 30's and the man was in his 40's or 50's. I don't know any couples with the woman in her early 20's and the man in his 40's or 50's.
Yes, most couples I see are close in age as well.. younger or older couples. Amongst my female friends, most of us had no desire to date someone substantially older than us.
We can talk about evolution and health if we want to. That works both ways though. Women in the caveperson days would have been attracted to a healthier specimen with all of his teeth etc. Often in history, or within certain religious groups women weren't really given an option when paired with old guys.
My parents didn't have a huge age difference, but it was big enough that they experienced certain parts of history differently. The sixties brought a lot of change in society, my dad could have cared less about it, but I think it was appealing to my mom.
People can date who they want. However, I think in some cases there are different sorts of dynamics that go along with those sorts of relationships.
Ok, I know it's just sex. Perhaps having a low libido is actually a blessing, because it enables me to actually NOT see women as sex objects. Anyway..
Yesterday, I offered to give one of my co-workers a lift to the gym, as she works out at a gym close to where I live. She's a nice girl, but I don't like her in "that" way.
She's 22, I am 37. If I were 5 years older, I would basically be old enough to be her dad.
We talked (she talked) a lot on the car journey. She was very ditzy and immature (as a 22 year old would be to a 37 year old). She's very pretty, but I felt no attraction at all. I felt like I were in the car with a niece, or something along those lines. She seemed like a kid, to be honest. Her and I would have absolutely nothing in common and she seemed very naive, in terms of knowing that you cannot be "nice" in a flirtatious way to men, because they will think you're interested in them. She was talking about 'Legally Blonde', hot guys, I could never date X guy, etc, etc. I felt like a relic.
I suppose that many men my age would be turned on by a 22 year old girl wearing short gym shorts, giggling and being 'girly'. Personally, I wasn't a bit turned on. If anything, I felt like an elder, so much so that I even told her to be careful.
The point is, I don't get why men my age and older go for much younger women. We have nothing in common and it's just weird. Being in a relationship with someone is more than just sex, you actually have to have stuff in common with that person too. I have NOTHING in common with a 22 year old girl. To be honest, most people under 25 seem like kids to me now, so it would just seem morally wrong to pursue women under that age.
Anyone else feel the same way? If I were attractive and up for dating, I would actually not go out with anyone under 28. It would just be too weird in terms of maturity.
IMO, its for sex or eye candy and not a relationship on the level you consider a serious relationship. I think the same can be said for women. I have dated men 15 yrs. older and 15 yrs. younger. They were for fun and short term. I knew nothing serious would come of it. All serious relationships were with men +/- 3 years.
When all is said and done, what any of us think about such relationships is irrelevant except to ourselves. The people IN those relationships chose to be in them for whatever reasons, good or bad - just like any other relationship. Some will be dysfunctional or have other "issues" - just like any other relationship. Some will be normal and healthy, mature and loving despite the age discrepancy - just like any other relationship. Really, it's a silly stigma. And such relationships are a minority, so are no "threat" to anyone else who may feel they can't compete, for example.
When all is said and done, what any of us think about such relationships is irrelevant except to ourselves. The people IN those relationships chose to be in them for whatever reasons, good or bad - just like any other relationship. Some will be dysfunctional or have other "issues" - just like any other relationship. Some will be normal and healthy, mature and loving despite the age discrepancy - just like any other relationship. Really, it's a silly stigma. And such relationships are a minority, so are no "threat" to anyone else who may feel they can't compete, for example.
Very well said. If it's between consenting adults and works for them, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. If it ends up not working for them, it's no one else's problem but theirs.
When all is said and done, what any of us think about such relationships is irrelevant except to ourselves. The people IN those relationships chose to be in them for whatever reasons, good or bad - just like any other relationship. Some will be dysfunctional or have other "issues" - just like any other relationship. Some will be normal and healthy, mature and loving despite the age discrepancy - just like any other relationship. Really, it's a silly stigma. And such relationships are a minority, so are no "threat" to anyone else who may feel they can't compete, for example.
I'm surprised to be saying this, but I actually agree with your post.
why do you need to know the answers today to some remote relationship problem in the future?
why can't you just enjoy the relationship you have and take it day by day?
everyone knows that a substantial majority of all relationships do not end at "till death do us part" stage, so why demand life-long compatibility and potential from everyone you become emotional and physically intimate with?
For me, I only get involved in mutually beneficial relationships; that I improve the quality of her life, and she does the same for me, and that we share love, companionship, and respect for one another. faith and spiritual compatibility also helps, but I am happy just to find, and be able keep, this type relationship.
I had a date last night with a woman who was 15 years my junior, so I have a little insight into this. 25 to my 40, which is out of my usual not dating under 30 guidline (apparently a loose guideline).
She impressed me on her ability to hold conversation on a variety of topics (Big plus). No surprise as I have plenty of intelligent friends in this age range. She did go into the "I usually date older guys" statement which I have heard before (Little bit of a turn off).. She was a little more unsure of herself, overly apologetic compare to older women (turn off). She did have some large tatoos and some interesting piecings that most proffesional women I have dated don't have (Slight plus since they were very nicely done). I will admit she had a youthful attraction, but it gave here no advantage over more confident women closer to my age. I would say it depends on the woman.
"Why do men go for mucn younger women"
Some men and women assign a greater value to youth.
I had a date last night with a woman who was 15 years my junior, so I have a little insight into this. 25 to my 40, which is out of my usual not dating under 30 guidline (apparently a loose guideline).
She impressed me on her ability to hold conversation on a variety of topics (Big plus). No surprise as I have plenty of intelligent friends in this age range. She did go into the "I usually date older guys" statement which I have heard before (Little bit of a turn off).. She was a little more unsure of herself, overly apologetic compare to older women (turn off). She did have some large tatoos and some interesting piecings that most proffesional women I have dated don't have (Slight plus since they were very nicely done). I will admit she had a youthful attraction, but it gave here no advantage over more confident women closer to my age. I would say it depends on the woman.
"Why do men go for mucn younger women" Some men and women assign a greater value to youth.
The part I highlighted in pink is really what it boils down to, a personal preference. However, I think people take issue with the hypocrisy of desiring "youthful" when one is no longer youthful themselves. The other issue is, of course, the continued and sweeping generalizations about all women of a certain age bracket, i.e. young is good/better/best and older is just awful.
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