Are bisexual men doomed to live a lie? Or do you think attitudes will become more accepting? Should bi people marry? (date, lesbians)
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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Assuming you believe bisexual men exist. I'm not bi myself, but I'm wondering, if most women (at least according to the internet) will not date a bi man, even a guy who has experimented or been in gay relationships in the past (either because she doesn't trust him, or is afraid he'll go gay or cheat, or has a disease), do you think most bi men will have to be forced to live a lie and lie to their spouses if they want to marry or have a committed relationship? Like what gay men had to do in the past? While it's easy to come out of the gay closet, it's harder to come out of the bi closet.
Of course, we're talking about those who can be monogamous and can really give it up. Would you say it's really harder for a bi man to stay faithful than a bi woman? If both people feel the need for both, why is it any more reasonable to expect a bi women to stay faithful?
Or maybe bi people should just get together since they're more understanding...if they want an open relationship with the love and commitment of an emotional connection maybe that is the best solution for them.
Or maybe some think that bi men shouldn't marry at all...but then again there are straight men who can't control their desire who women marry. A few even put up with it. There's still a fear that a man is more likely to pass an STD on to another man (which may not be entirely untrue).
If there are any bi guys out there who are married, how did this work out for you? I'm just curious about it.
I think it's funny how even self-proclaimed "liberal" women say they will not date bisexual men or men who have bisexually experimented. I think it's funny these women will pay a whole lot of lip service in the defense of gays, but when it becomes personal so that they actually *think* about it, homosexual behavior disgusts them. Not only that, when it becomes personal they also immediately recognize that men who have homosexual sex are more likely to have HIV - something they otherwise would deny and defend homosexuals from. It seems like when it becomes personal, people quickly get real and stop BS-ing and promoting their agenda.
*If* women are innately digusted by men having homosexual sex, I don't see bisexual men becoming more accepted by them anytime soon.
Having had an actual bis*xual family member, I believe that if and once they are married, ultimately, bis*xual people should try to remain faithful to their wedding vows. Being unfaithful or having additional extra-marital partners on the side (of either gender) can potentially hurt and negatively affect the emotional well-being of other family members.
(Disclaimer: I myself am personally a straight male, FWIW.)
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by MOKAN
I think it's funny how even self-proclaimed "liberal" women say they will not date bisexual men or men who have bisexually experimented. I think it's funny these women will pay a whole lot of lip service in the defense of gays, but when it becomes personal so that they actually *think* about it, homosexual behavior disgusts them. Not only that, when it becomes personal they also immediately recognize that men who have homosexual sex are more likely to have HIV - something they otherwise would deny and defend homosexuals from. It seems like when it becomes personal, people quickly get real and stop BS-ing and promoting their agenda.
*If* women are innately digusted by men having homosexual sex, I don't see bisexual men becoming more accepted by them anytime soon.
This is definitely what I've noticed and what I've been saying. I'm not even bi or advocating for bi rights here, but I just disdain double standards in society, or people who say something but their behaviour shows they think otherwise. I also feel that male homosexuality in general isn't as tolerated as it is, I think a lot of people are pressured to accept it to be politically correct. Trust me, if it was acceptable to go around calling people '****' a lot more people would be doing it. Of course bi men get it from a lot of gay men, too, who say they're in denial or straight men playing around.
^I absolutely agree, especially with the comment concerning people being pressured to be PC. Once this PC stuff - a form of control similar to peer pressure - reaches a certain extent, I think we may see a backlash against it, if that's not already happening.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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We are, although it's more revealing of what people are really thinking. Just read some typical youtube comments. A lot of racial, sexist, homophobic slurs.
Assuming you believe bisexual men exist. I'm not bi myself, but I'm wondering, if most women (at least according to the internet) will not date a bi man, even a guy who has experimented or been in gay relationships in the past (either because she doesn't trust him, or is afraid he'll go gay or cheat, or has a disease), do you think most bi men will have to be forced to live a lie and lie to their spouses if they want to marry or have a committed relationship? Like what gay men had to do in the past? While it's easy to come out of the gay closet, it's harder to come out of the bi closet.
Of course, we're talking about those who can be monogamous and can really give it up. Would you say it's really harder for a bi man to stay faithful than a bi woman? If both people feel the need for both, why is it any more reasonable to expect a bi women to stay faithful?
Or maybe bi people should just get together since they're more understanding...if they want an open relationship with the love and commitment of an emotional connection maybe that is the best solution for them.
Or maybe some think that bi men shouldn't marry at all...but then again there are straight men who can't control their desire who women marry. A few even put up with it. There's still a fear that a man is more likely to pass an STD on to another man (which may not be entirely untrue).
If there are any bi guys out there who are married, how did this work out for you? I'm just curious about it.
Two points I can make on this topic:
1) If bi people want to experience wider social acceptance, more of them are going to have to come out. Too many bi people choose to remain closeted. Unlike gays and lesbians, who must come out if they hope to live normal lives, bi people have the option of hiding their true sexual orientation and presenting themselves to the world as straight. Bi people often take this option, simply because it is easier. As a result, negative ideas about bi people never get challenged, and persist.
2) As a society, we have got to start letting go of this idiotic insistence on total sexual monogamy. Some people can be happily monogamous. But many people, male and female, find strict monogamy a terrible burden. They don't like it, it stresses them terribly, it makes them miserable. And demanding bisexuals to be strictly monogamous is just cruel. People's sexual needs don't change or disappear because they take wedding vows. If a straight person really loves their bisexual partner, they need to let them get those needs met.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
Two points I can make on this topic:
1) If bi people want to experience wider social acceptance, more of them are going to have to come out. Too many bi people choose to remain closeted. Unlike gays and lesbians, who must come out if they hope to live normal lives, bi people have the option of hiding their true sexual orientation and presenting themselves to the world as straight. Bi people often take this option, simply because it is easier. As a result, negative ideas about bi people never get challenged, and persist.
2) As a society, we have got to start letting go of this idiotic insistence on total sexual monogamy. Some people can be happily monogamous. But many people, male and female, find strict monogamy a terrible burden. They don't like it, it stresses them terribly, it makes them miserable. And demanding bisexuals to be strictly monogamous is just cruel. People's sexual needs don't change or disappear because they take wedding vows. If a straight person really loves their bisexual partner, they need to let them get those needs met.
Indeed, I think on your last point, may straight people would argue that they need variety as well.
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