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This deserves it's own thread. Shyness is not the worst quality a man can possess. Clingy-ness is.
If you are at ALL clingy or affectionate, most women will dump you on your ass the minute you become emotionally attached. Yes, i know women get married and then complain that their spouses ignore them or don't give them enough attention. But that's because they dump the affectionate guys for being too clingy. Women could get plenty of attention from men if they wanted it, but actions speak louder than words. They don't really want attention... they want a challenge. As soon as a man gets emotionally attached to a woman, and he is no longer a "challenge" for her, he gets dumped.
Guys, take it from me, i am a clingy guy, and women are RUTHLESS toward me. Not just the super hot ones. Average-looking women are mean to me as well. So if you are the least bit clingy, in my opinion you are better off paying for female attention from professionals than constantly getting rejected and hurt. The vitriol with which women reject me is just something i hope none of you ever have to endure.
Last edited by lpfan921; 01-27-2013 at 08:23 AM..
Reason: r
Most people like affectionate, but you have to be on the same page with the other person. One person's affectionate is another person's smothering.
OP, how does your clinginess manifest itself? I.e. what are you doing that causes women to react negatively? If you recognize that your behavior is unappealing to women, then why don't you try to change your behavior?
Clingy and affectionate are not the same thing. I dated an affectionate clingy guy, and I dated an affectionate non-clingy guy. Guess which one I didn't mind being affectionate to in return? Being clingy is the real turnoff, not being affectionate. The clingy person turns affection into smothering.
OP could you please give a detailed example of how your "clinginess" causes someone to brutally reject you?
You have posted this same vague scenario often, but I am having a hard time getting a clear picture of how someone can be clingy before they are even in a relationship. Because I have the impression you have never been in one.
Are you somehow being clingy while still in the early stages of trying to get to know people? What does that look like? How do you "cling" exactly?
Clingy and affectionate are not the same thing. I dated an affectionate clingy guy, and I dated an affectionate non-clingy guy. Guess which one I didn't mind being affectionate to in return? Being clingy is the real turnoff, not being affectionate. The clingy person turns affection into smothering.
So what you are saying is, you want someone to be affectionate when YOU are in the mood for attention. But when HE wants some attention, it's a real turn-off.
So what you are saying is, you want someone to be affectionate when YOU are in the mood for attention. But when HE wants some attention, it's a real turn-off.
Isn't that what YOU are saying, though? What you want is good and important, and if a woman is turned off by that then she's cruel and mean.
Try not to be clingy. It's a huge turnoff. Would you want a woman who was clingy? I know I wouldn't.
If you think you're too clingy and recognise it, then you have the power to change such behaviour.
Yes, i would LOVE a clingy woman. My goodness, after not getting female attention in YEARS, i would be excited to find someone who actually enjoys my company.
And i don't WANT to change my behavior. Why should i always be the one who has to change? Everyone else has flaws, yet most people seem to find someone provided they are not looking for people out of their league looks or money-wise. I don't want to be with a woman where i constantly have to worry about if i am annoying her by being clingy. I just want someone who enjoys my company. A woman telling me i'm clingy is just another form of rejection, the way i see it. She is rejecting my company by telling me she does not want to be around me.
How am i ever going to be happy in such a relationship? Constantly wondering if i'm "smothering" a woman or if my presence is annoying her does not sound like much fun at all. I'd much rather just pay for all the attention I want from a professional. It does not seem as if such services are as readily available as traditional prostitutes, but i'm trying to find some avenues to fulfill my needs.
Isn't that what YOU are saying, though? What you want is good and important, and if a woman is turned off by that then she's cruel and mean.
A woman is only cruel and mean if she calls me a loser or some other insulting name, which plenty of ladies have done. If she wants different things and she is polite about it, i suppose that does not make her cruel or mean. But it's still a situation i would try to avoid. Why would i want to be in a relationship with a woman who is always making me feel rejected, or making me feel like my presence is annoying her? That's even worse of a feeling of rejection than not being in a relationship at all.
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