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Old 02-12-2013, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,614 posts, read 21,252,412 times
Reputation: 13670

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
Yes I am judging them because they failed. I judge failures in all aspects but when it comes to divorced dads they need to make the marriage work except in extreme cases.
Here's the thing, you judgmental, condescending biddy, a relationship takes effort from both parties to make it work. In most states, mine included, it really doesn't matter how hard a man (or woman, for that matter) tries to please the other partner. If one person decides they want out and aren't interested in trying to reconcile the only choices the other person has are to spend a truckload of money trying to fight it in court only to eventually wind up divorced anyway, or simply let the other person go and try to keep it as amicable as possible for the sake of the kids.

 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:36 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,886,793 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
1. Well, obviously those women failed at their relationship, so "of course" (from what I hear!) any self-respecting man will avoid them and the associated problems and baggage. They are far from delusional - they are careful. I don't think they are the delusional ones.

2. Experience.
A divorced dad avoiding a divorced mom because of failure is a hypocrite because he is a failure too.
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:37 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,297,900 times
Reputation: 5372
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
Well neither one is a man for me.
What if you find a man who has never been married and has the same beliefs as you and therefore wants to marry a virgin?

Do you find that judgmental.
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:37 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,886,793 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedi000 View Post
If your marriage to a childless, never married man in his 40s failed, would that mean that you are lacking morals?
It never happened so until it did I couldn't say.
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:38 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,886,793 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Ah ha! So that's what this is about--competing with the past!
Of course part of it is because the childless woman marrying a divorced dad will have to compete with (and financially support)his children.
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:39 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,179,182 times
Reputation: 17797
I wonder what you hope to gain with these posts. Does anyone care whom you date?
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:39 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,886,793 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Min-Chi-Cbus View Post
"Failing" is an odd way to view it. Who failed -- mom or dad? Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes people change or grow apart. Sometimes life events cause relationships to drastically alter. You don't know what it's like until you've experienced these things yourself, but try to be more open-minded about meeting new people......you may find that the BEST people to date are those who have already tried and failed but learned and are willing to get on their feet and try again!
The whole grow apart is complete bs when it comes to the kids. They are being abused because mom and dad are not doing their job.
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:41 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,886,793 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyrallnamestaken View Post
My experience is that divorced men I met were still in love with their ex and couldn't get over the divorce. This doesn't make for a good partner. I also found that the men I asked about their marriage didn't know what went wrong. All in all, I found that divorced men had a lot of pain that they hadn't dealt with and this made it difficult for them to find what they wanted.
Very true. I have never met a divorced man over his ex. A guy I dated who was divorced (no kids)blamed his ex when it was obviously his fault he divorced because he was obsessed with weight.
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Houston area
836 posts, read 1,118,544 times
Reputation: 1856
From now on I think I will refuse to comment on any of Idon'tdateyou's posts. She's just too argumentive, hard headed, very closed minded, etc....... She knows what she wants and doesn't need my help.
 
Old 02-12-2013, 12:42 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,886,793 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
Here's the thing, you judgmental, condescending biddy, a relationship takes effort from both parties to make it work. In most states, mine included, it really doesn't matter how hard a man (or woman, for that matter) tries to please the other partner. If one person decides they want out and aren't interested in trying to reconcile the only choices the other person has are to spend a truckload of money trying to fight it in court only to eventually wind up divorced anyway, or simply let the other person go and try to keep it as amicable as possible for the sake of the kids.
I'm a biddy? not hardly. When you have kids you do everything in your power to stay married in most cases.
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