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Old 02-20-2013, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
11,343 posts, read 9,240,239 times
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Several years ago I disolved a close to 30 year friendship with someone who came into somewhat sudden wealth. The money turned him into a person that I did not want to know anymore.
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Old 02-20-2013, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,724 posts, read 21,186,837 times
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I've been rich and I've been poor. While I prefer rich, when I look back on the rich and poor periods of my life, I've always been the happiest when I was (and am) poor.

When I was rich, I was never rich enough. Had one successful business, needed another one. And another, and another. Had a boat, wanted a bigger one. Had an airplane, wanted a bigger one. Had a nice home, wanted a bigger one. I told my (ex) wife that I thought we should retire. She said we didn't have enough money. I gave her the money and got a divorce.

Finally, happiness!
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:58 PM
 
1,841 posts, read 3,168,365 times
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Directed towards the OP..

I do not agree with you 100% regarding one must be wealthy in order to be happy however I am not sure how you meant your query by the thread..

If you mean that only “poverty stricken people state that money cannot buy love?” I would say it would all depend on the context in which it is used..

There are pros and cons to excess and extremes to both sides of the spectrum…

On one side you have people living under the “Poverty level” that state that money is not needed to have a fulfilling life, however this is a case by case basis since not everyone is the same..

You will have a family of 7 living on one meager income and while the family may seem intact and loving there is always “worry” and a sense of “struggle” and in survival mode…
The parents may see it as sufficient however if asked their children will state a different story and may reflect differing views as they reach adult hood.

On the opposite spectrum you have the “rich” family..material things come easy, their children go to the best schools, their children have the best of the best yet they lack ethics and know how because everything is handed to them..causing boredom which causes issues..

In between you have the family that has enough..

Often times we forget that happy medium..
We tend to base poverty and wealth on extremes…

When it is basic…And is based on Maslow’s hierarchy..this is well known and cannot be refuted..

We tend to think of “wealth” as cars, big homes, private schools, proper attire for us and our children, the basic needs, food and shelter..The fact that we are not having to choose which utility to pay each month and get behind on the others…
Always living on the skirts of arrest…losing something that is considered a basic need..When we are threatened to lose our basic needs? We all go into “Survival mode” This is a constant abnormal stressor in life…and life as well as social, emotional relationships are affected whether we choose to believe it or not..

Which brings me to a personal I.E.

Before I got a divorce? I lived a very lush or what I consider a lush life..My ex was an officer in the military, I was a teacher..We owned a nice home in TX. Our son attended private school, we had nice vehichles, a 600.00 electricity bill in summer and did not stress about it..
When we moved back to ca? We still had great jobs, we owned our own home, still had nice vehicles, our son still attended private school…

When we divorced in 2005? Even though I got a great amount on child support and alimony I was living on one income..
My child support went on paying for my son…his private school, and his needs..my money? Went on my now 2400.00 mortgage.

My utilities, groceries and car payment..we still had what we needed only the spending money was lacking and my son was ok with this..
I met a man that had a commission only job..I was with him for 2 years..
He lived in my home and barely ever gave me half the rent let alone the utilities..
Then after one year after being together he asked me about having a child with him? Ummmmm….kids cost money..I am money savvy.
I was making less than I am now and I stated to him, “I make enough to cover all expenses and still there is enough to save for trips and goodies for my son, but add another child?” “There will be a different shift in expenses.”
“Let us not count my family leave after the baby? The child care, I am not going to burden my mother with another grandchild she is taking care of my new niece.”
“Diapers, formula, getting paid 75% while I am on leave?”
His response?
“My mom said all you need is love”
REALLY?
I had to remind him that he had lived in double wide trailers that they have lost due to mudslides..not having friends over because he was to embarrassed..His parents RENTED a small 2 bedroom condo on the bad side of town in another city and had borrowed money from me 4x since the last year? For utilities..
The father had copd and was oxygen and was getting county assistance for..They did not know where there their next meal was coming from..
His mother had taken over his fathers courier route and was getting aid from the county..
Most recently? They drove from ca to Oregon to live in their adult daughters back yard whom married well to retire? In their Trailer?
This is not responsible I told him..You have children when you are financially responsible period…
Needless to state? We broke up 2009..
He finally had his kid from a woman that already had 2..They broke up, she know lives with her mother and works at Ross Dress for Less..
He lives in a nearby city works at Home Depot, takes the bus to work everyday and pays her support and is living with a friend…
Big difference between “Love is all you need” from being financially responsible and getting what you need to be okay…

He hit me up 4 months ago for 500.00? I asked him to hit his parents up because I was no longer with him and I was not an ATM..his response? “My parents do not have money to give” BIG SURPRISE…tell them to give you some of that love that makes the world go round..!

Maslow's hierarchy of needs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:31 PM
 
Location: The Emerald City
1,065 posts, read 1,799,267 times
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Maybe not, but it sure feels good most of the time
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:50 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, NY
368 posts, read 576,502 times
Reputation: 413
A poor person that becomes rich via hard work or luck and someone born rich can't really be compared to each other, mainly because they have different things that make them happy lol.
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Old 02-21-2013, 01:37 AM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,982 posts, read 6,675,828 times
Reputation: 3689
Money can't buy happiness but it sure can buy therapy
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,216,996 times
Reputation: 73924
Money can't buy you love...but it can rent a whole lot of friends.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Central TX
2,335 posts, read 4,137,929 times
Reputation: 2812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Having more money would make me happier - because I'm already happy. But having more money but not having my husband, my son, my dog, my friends, etc. would not make me happy.
I heard an interview with Mark Cuban yesterday and he was asked if money can buy happiness and he said "it can't, but if you're already happy it can make you a whooole lot happier."
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:38 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,045,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodKidMaadCity View Post
I can't believe some people actually say this. I must be living on a different planet.


No rich person would ever say this. I imagine it must be the poor folk who tell themselves this. Rich people are living it up, going on holidays, riding horses, living in nice neighborhoods, buying bentleys, buying mansions,.... how can anyone be unhappy with filthy amounts of money? Rich people are less stressed and more cheerful than poor people. This isn't even a debate.


For me I choose money over everything. It'd definitely buy me happiness. Nothing is more important.
Pshaw. As someone who rubs elbows with a lot of rich people, I can tell you that what you wrote is complete and unadulterated baloney.

Money can buy comfort. And it sure is nice to not have to worry about money all the time. It's great to not worry about the car payment, the house note, or the kid's tuition. But on an entirely different level, money does not create a loving marriage, a happy childhood, or friends of substance.

You seem to characterize happiness as the pursuit of things, but things are just the rocks in life that weigh you down. You become a slave to things. You must protect them. That's no way to live.

I have a very good friend who has enormous sums of family money. Smart guy. Funny guy. But he married a woman with whom he has nothing in common. They cordially detest each other. But he won't divorce her. Why? Because she'll get half of his money. Never mind that he'll have more than enough left over to live very well for the rest of his life. He has to protect his money and if that means being miserable, so be it.

To be sure, if you have your head screwed on straight, money is a good thing. But if I had to choose between having a great marriage while earning a modest salary or having a lousy marriage while earning all the money in the world, I know which one I'd choose.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:42 AM
 
599 posts, read 951,976 times
Reputation: 585
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr74 View Post
Directed towards the OP..


When we divorced in 2005? Even though I got a great amount on child support and alimony I was living on one income..
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He hit me up 4 months ago for 500.00? I asked him to hit his parents up because I was no longer with him and I was not an ATM..
I don't suppose you see the irony in your statements? You had no problem treating your ex-husband as an ATM even though you were no longer with him.
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