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In general, is unhappiness (in relationships, work, home, life, etc.) a sign that it's time to let go?
In everything, i always let go too easily because this was my mentality. But i have seen people who were unhappy in their relationships, jobs, etc. stick it out and somehow managed to be happy again after a few years.
I envy them so much that's why i've decided to stick it out with someone. Our situation makes me unhappy (plus i am also pregnant so hormones are making things worse), but i do love him. He is showing effort and i always resolve to give him at least a smile or a hug for what he tries to do for us.
Yet when the opportunity comes, i find myself ignoring him even when he asks me for a hug. I want to be happy again, like we used to be, but i cant bring myself to even smile at him anymore.
I dont want to drive him away but i cant help being so sad. Im wondering if this means its not worth it...
Inputs and/or similar experiences would be appreciated.
In general, is unhappiness (in relationships, work, home, life, etc.) a sign that it's time to let go?
In everything, i always let go too easily because this was my mentality. But i have seen people who were unhappy in their relationships, jobs, etc. stick it out and somehow managed to be happy again after a few years.
I envy them so much that's why i've decided to stick it out with someone. Our situation makes me unhappy (plus i am also pregnant so hormones are making things worse), but i do love him. He is showing effort and i always resolve to give him at least a smile or a hug for what he tries to do for us.
Yet when the opportunity comes, i find myself ignoring him even when he asks me for a hug. I want to be happy again, like we used to be, but i cant bring myself to even smile at him anymore.
I dont want to drive him away but i cant help being so sad. Im wondering if this means its not worth it...
Inputs and/or similar experiences would be appreciated.
I say no. and I'm not saying to endure eternal suffering with your mate, but relationships I feel are an ebb an flow kind of thing and it's a matter of whether or not the two people are willing to try and make the relationship work between them, always remembering not to take the other's kindness and loving affection for granted.
I don't think we can really answer this, but I feel like you have to look inside and see what it is about the relationship that's bothering you because if he's making attempts to connect with you and you're not reciprocating (even though you say you want to be happy again) then your desires and actions are contradictory.
It totally depends. There's a vast, exponential difference between being unhappy in a new relationship (say, under 2 years), and a long, long marriage of 25 years. Every romantic relationship has its ups and downs, and anyone who tells you otherwise has never been with the same person for decades.
You're not giving remotely enough information to determine where you're at in your relationship. Amplify more.
I've got some fairly hard-won happiness in my life. I think if you're not happy, you make changes. That doesn't necessarily mean "letting go."
I was unhappy in my job for a long time. It's stressful and demanding, and it surely isn't fun. But the pay isn't bad, and there are definite perks, and my co-workers are awesome. Most importantly, this job allows me to live the life I want. So I made my peace with the "unhappy" and got over it. I don't look forward to work in the morning, but I appreciate what I have.
I've been in relationships where I was unhappy. I weighed what I wanted from the relationship against what needed to happen for me to get what I wanted. In the two key instances, I needed my partner to change significantly for me to be happy. So I ended the relationships under the principle that you shouldn't be trying to change anyone else.
I was also unhappy for a long time in my life. I moved across the country, adopted a more positive outlook in general and found ways to engage in life. It's been a lot of hard work, some very hard decisions and a lot of constant and conscious effort.
You don't provide much detail, but I think pregnancy can make your body chemistry do some crazy things. What you're feeling now may be just that. However, I also have to say, you are BRINGING A CHILD INTO THIS WORLD. Just "letting go" of that child's father is not an option. You have an obligation - barring abuse or addiction or untreated mental illness - to work at that relationship for the sake of your child. I'm not a fan of "staying together for the kids" but you damn well better give it your best shot.
In general, is unhappiness (in relationships, work, home, life, etc.) a sign that it's time to let go?
In everything, i always let go too easily because this was my mentality. But i have seen people who were unhappy in their relationships, jobs, etc. stick it out and somehow managed to be happy again after a few years.
I envy them so much that's why i've decided to stick it out with someone. Our situation makes me unhappy (plus i am also pregnant so hormones are making things worse), but i do love him. He is showing effort and i always resolve to give him at least a smile or a hug for what he tries to do for us.
Yet when the opportunity comes, i find myself ignoring him even when he asks me for a hug. I want to be happy again, like we used to be, but i cant bring myself to even smile at him anymore.
I dont want to drive him away but i cant help being so sad. Im wondering if this means its not worth it...
Inputs and/or similar experiences would be appreciated.
I'd say, as a general rule, yes, it's time to go when you're unhappy. But it's not always possible and there are different things to consider for different people. When you have a family, it is not as easy as "If you're unhappy, leave.". There are plenty of other examples, but it really depends on the people involved. Don't compare your situation with others. It is unique to you. What is acceptable to them may not be acceptable to you. "Effort" to you may be an abject failure to someone else. Why are you sad? Is it within your control? Do you carry any weight? Do you have a say? Can it be reversed? If not, let it go. There is nothing you can do to fix it.
From what you written I don't think it has to do with other people, it has to do with you and how your are feeling.
Is this your first pregnancy? Did you plan to have a baby or was it unexpected? If you answer yes to either question you may actually be suffering from depression. It happens too often with women in pregnancy.
I don't have any answer for you other then maybe see if there is some counseling available in your area as you should be talking now and getting help before the baby is born because postpartum depression is really quite serious after the baby comes.
May peace follow you in your pending birth and situation.
From what you written I don't think it has to do with other people, it has to do with you and how your are feeling.
Is this your first pregnancy? Did you plan to have a baby or was it unexpected? If you answer yes to either question you may actually be suffering from depression. It happens too often with women in pregnancy.
I don't have any answer for you other then maybe see if there is some counseling available in your area as you should be talking now and getting help before the baby is born because postpartum depression is really quite serious after the baby comes.
May peace follow you in your pending birth and situation.
back is right....... post partum depression is like a category 5 pms to the tenth power...
how can a woman make these big decisions, when she is pregnant and hormonal... ????
hormonal...an emotional soup, which even the woman doesnt even know all the ingredients..
There is no real right or wrong answer for your question. YOU know your life and your relationship and only YOU know the answer that is potentially the right answer for you. No one else can tell you what is right or wrong at this time. No relationship between people is the same as someone's else's and the only answers you can possibly get here is speculation since no one knows you or whom you are having the relationship with. It would probably be best to find a professional you can talk this over with who can possibly guide you without judgement. The hormonal changes you are going through right now "could" be a big part of the situation however, if you were feeling this way before the pregnancy it is possible that it is NOT from the hormonal changes. Seek help with this issue right now and it would probably help to talk to you spouse about your feelings at the moment. Good open communication is always the best way to go in my opinion, no matter how good, bad or ugly it gets. Just no fighting, blaming or name calling, communication, talking, discussion, calm discussion.
Well it is so easy making the decision to get out of a relationship that you have not been in a long time plus having the hormones of pregnancy as well. In general I believe in trying to make something work, but if you continue to be unhappy then you need to do something. I stayed too long in a bad marriage and have vowed to never let anything make me that unhappy in life again.
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