Am I just bitter or is there some sanity in my reasoning?

[katestar]

Originally Posted by JanND

I have to respectfully suggest that you only know the half of it. In KateStar's defense, she has done the above and beyond all last year. You might understand this if you searched and read her previous threads. I believe you might see where she is coming from regarding..."Enough is enough"
Katestar, I have to say you have come through a lot, and have made some great headway in helping get you MIL back on track.
I personally do not think you are being selfish at all. I think you did all you did, and have earned the right to draw your boundaries.
I also see that the MIL was not obliged to pick you up form work, nor was she prepared to drive your SO to and from work. I suggested she do just that...Problem solved, and you have your car.
Boundaries are critical when in a situation like you've come through. Good luck.

Thanks! When my GF got home that night, I told her that I didn't want to say no to picking up her mom because I didn't want to get into a huge thing over the phone. I told her that I said no to lending out my car for a reason: I don't want to lend out my car and I don't want to drive all around town picking up and/or driving her mother to/from from places. I told them that they will have to figure it out on their own going forward.

The underlying issues that will never go away is the fact that my GF feels somehow responsible for her mom since the dad passed away. Everytime I try to make light of something her mom is doing that might be a little abusive of our willingness to help, my GF defends the mom. Her reasons is that she's all she's got.

I think that I got too involved in their situation because I wanted her bills to be paid so she can move out. It was obviously of selfish motivations. What I need to do is tell my GF that I really don't want to hear any of it anymore. We are not in a position to give her money and she needs to figure out how to get around and how to get things on her own. I honestly don't know why MIL is so dependent. She call her for the most trivial things.

[smalltowngirl25]

Originally Posted by JanND

Why can't Mom take your Girlfriend to and from work, she will have the car. Makes no sense why they haven't got this figured out.

This! Why couldn't the mom just have the car and she could drop your girlfriend off/pick her up from work? Problem solved!

Or it sounds like she was done with the interview before you even had to go to work, so what was the problem in letting her borrow your car for a couple of hours. You wouldn't have even needed to go anywhere to pick her up.

All this just sounds like some unnecessary drama.

Or someone could take the bus/train?

[Mariajin]

Hello,everyone. I am a Caribbean woman who has a Zimbabwean boyfriend and were also having a baby together. We both worked on the cruise ship that is how we met. He told me he loved me,we had a great relationship and I loved him to. However he has a son in Zimbabwe and his sons mother is also from Zimbabwe. So we're both on vacation at the moment he is in Zimbabwe and I am back in my country also and im pregnant. We both had lots of plans together to make a family. He said he wud come to my country and I wud help him get a job because my economy is quite good.and he would of resign from the cruises hip and we would have our family there.
But this week my life took an interesting spin. He has been home a month now and He went to speak with his sons mother and family about the break up and state that they are no longer together . However it was not accepted and they were told that they had to work it out for the sons sake and she has to move back in wit him.
When he told me this my heart sinked. He did not tell them that he has a new girl fren and a baby on the way.he said they would not change their mind if he did. He said if he doesn't try to work it out and do as they say he can never return to his family. He also paid when the girl had become pregnant part of his Lobola when they were still together. Now their son is a year old and the girl had eft him when she was still pregnant so they have been broken up over a year now.and he also said culturally she is already his wife. Do people risk disobeying their culture for someone they really love or would they just forget the other person in most cases?? And then to make matters worst I'm not a Zimbabwean but I'm a black woman from the Caribbean .

[Huckleberry3911948]

u r light years ahead of the game. the 67% of us that married and got an involuntary divorce are paying more out than u can ever imagine. they only got your cars, not your b...................s.

[Diamonds&pearls]

Originally Posted by Mariajin

Hello,everyone. I am a Caribbean woman who has a Zimbabwean boyfriend and were also having a baby together. We both worked on the cruise ship that is how we met. He told me he loved me,we had a great relationship and I loved him to. However he has a son in Zimbabwe and his sons mother is also from Zimbabwe. So we're both on vacation at the moment he is in Zimbabwe and I am back in my country also and im pregnant. We both had lots of plans together to make a family. He said he wud come to my country and I wud help him get a job because my economy is quite good.and he would of resign from the cruises hip and we would have our family there.
But this week my life took an interesting spin. He has been home a month now and He went to speak with his sons mother and family about the break up and state that they are no longer together . However it was not accepted and they were told that they had to work it out for the sons sake and she has to move back in wit him.
When he told me this my heart sinked. He did not tell them that he has a new girl fren and a baby on the way.he said they would not change their mind if he did. He said if he doesn't try to work it out and do as they say he can never return to his family. He also paid when the girl had become pregnant part of his Lobola when they were still together. Now their son is a year old and the girl had eft him when she was still pregnant so they have been broken up over a year now.and he also said culturally she is already his wife. Do people risk disobeying their culture for someone they really love or would they just forget the other person in most cases?? And then to make matters worst I'm not a Zimbabwean but I'm a black woman from the Caribbean .

This needs its own thread.

Not being Zimbabwean I cannot advise if their culture is more important than anything else, but I have seen other cultures where it is.

It's a shame you decided to get pregnant to a guy you barely know, but it happens all the time. There are plenty of fatherless babies in the world and you had better prepare yourself for being the mother to one of them.