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Yes. So many people have a laundry list of requirements that keep them from ever being happy. When you meet the right person, the small stuff doesn't matter anymore but when you refuse to give anyone a chance, you'll end up alone forever.
And the lists just keep getting more and more outrageous. I once saw a woman's ad online that said that she would not consider dating a man who does not take his shoes off when he comes in the door. This was just one of 25 or so "musts." This woman was pushing 50 and she seemed pretty angry about everything. I don't know. I guess that these people just live in some kind of fantasy world.
I've never seen more empty pride anywhere like what's on online dating sites.
I think you have to distinguish between reasonable standards and unreasonable standards. Like take me for instance.
Me:
professional
Masters degree (princeton)
great job
I expect my partner to AT LEAST have a bachelors degree from a four year college and be employed in a decent job.
I don't consider any of this to be "picky"...just reasonable expectations given where I am at in life. It would be unreasonable if I
said she had to be Asian, 5'4, 105 pounds, etc.
See....reasonable standards vs unreasonable ones.
Last edited by tonym9428; 02-20-2013 at 04:19 PM..
And the lists just keep getting more and more outrageous. I once saw a woman's ad online that said that she would not consider dating a man who does not take his shoes off when he comes in the door. This was just one of 25 or so "musts." This woman was pushing 50 and she seemed pretty angry about everything. I don't know. I guess that these people just live in some kind of fantasy world.
I've never seen more empty pride anywhere like what's on online dating sites.
She knows what she wants. She's obviously dated or been in relationships and knows what bothers her and doesn't want to string anyone along only to ditch them when they do something that she hates.
I see plenty of men's dating profiles that have laundry lists of do's and don'ts... and that's fine. I may not want to date them, but another woman may meet all of his requirements and they can live happily ever after.
I've been talking to a guy I met through a dating site for a few weeks now and we've become pretty good friends, even though we live in different states. His profile cracks me up because he has at least 30 'musts' in a potential partner and it comes off as completely neurotic. I told him that and he said it wasn't his problem
And the lists just keep getting more and more outrageous. I once saw a woman's ad online that said that she would not consider dating a man who does not take his shoes off when he comes in the door. This was just one of 25 or so "musts." This woman was pushing 50 and she seemed pretty angry about everything. I don't know. I guess that these people just live in some kind of fantasy world.
I've never seen more empty pride anywhere like what's on online dating sites.
Someday when she dies alone from loneliness and the stench makes them break down her door, they'll find a list of about 40 musts of how to and how not to handle her corpse.
She knows what she wants. She's obviously dated or been in relationships and knows what bothers her and doesn't want to string anyone along only to ditch them when they do something that she hates.
I see plenty of men's dating profiles that have laundry lists of do's and don'ts... and that's fine. I may not want to date them, but another woman may meet all of his requirements and they can live happily ever after.
I've been talking to a guy I met through a dating site for a few weeks now and we've become pretty good friends, even though we live in different states. His profile cracks me up because he has at least 30 'musts' in a potential partner and it comes off as completely neurotic. I told him that and he said it wasn't his problem
The thing is, there's a point when it's not about knowing what you want in a relationship, it's just a convenient way to blame other people for your loneliness. Because its not THEIR fault that they're alone, it's everyone else who doesn't live up to their standards.
The thing is, there's a point when it's not about knowing what you want in a relationship, it's just a convenient way to blame other people for your loneliness. Because its not THEIR fault that they're alone, it's everyone else who doesn't live up to their standards.
Oh, absolutely. I think it's far easier to blame others for your loneliness, I know I've done it in the past. Instead, I stopped giving a crap and so far it's been pretty great.
Please don't come in here talking about "I have standards, blah, blah ,yackety, yack"
I'm not talking about your PREFERENCES. I'm talking about just being picky. Not being able to freely accpet someone as is. By the way, this doesn't mean you cannot have your preferances(standards).
This goes beyond that. Are people just to darn picky for their own good?
Hence the reason why many are single and cannot find a suitablr mate?
Some are. Some people, consciously or unconsciously, have bought into the myth of The One. The believe that somewhere out there, there is someone who is perfect for them in every way, and that the way to a good relationship is to find that perfect somebody. Not true. The truth is, no two people are ever perfect for each other. All relationships require work. And even the people we love the most will anger, frustrate and disappoint us sometimes.
I think you have to distinguish between reasonable standards and unreasonable standards. Like take me for instance.
Me:
professional
Masters degree (princeton)
great job
I expect my partner to AT LEAST have a bachelors degree from a four year college and be employed in a decent job.
I don't consider any of this to be "picky"...just reasonable expectations given where I am at in life. It would be unreasonable if I
said she had to be Asian, 5'4, 105 pounds, etc.
See....reasonable standards vs unreasonable ones.
but what if your perfect match, the person who would make your heart sing , your absolute soul mate was never able to finish college or go at all?? you are excluding most of the population with your requirements.
I know a young lady that pulls in $300k/year as a self trained photographer.
She only went to highschool and a 9 month photography school. She has a certificate.
I guess she wouldn't be good enough for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428
I think you have to distinguish between reasonable standards and unreasonable standards. Like take me for instance.
Me:
professional
Masters degree (princeton)
great job
I expect my partner to AT LEAST have a bachelors degree from a four year college and be employed in a decent job.
I don't consider any of this to be "picky"...just reasonable expectations given where I am at in life. It would be unreasonable if I
said she had to be Asian, 5'4, 105 pounds, etc.
See....reasonable standards vs unreasonable ones.
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