Husband and i are going to divorce over where to live (woman, child support)
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No, it wasn't, but I did say I won't stay here, and since we have to be out of our current home in about a month, I guess that means I'd move with the kids alone. However he is the one who said he is done.
You all understand, he is the one who said he wants a divorce right? Not me? The ultimatum I gave him is that you made a promise to me, you need to keep it, b/c I have stayed here for you for 10 years that I did not want to.
An Ultimatum over a move or other major decision can prompt either the response you like, or one you dislike, as you found out tonight.
It sounds like you reacted without thinking out the very real possibility that he would not simply capitulate to your desire. You sound surprised by what he chose, but I have seen this play out just that way many times.
And of course my children would stay with me. I am 5 and a half months along and would never terminate a pregnancy.
I really cannot believe that everything is all about a job? What about family, better quality of life, what your partner wants? What has been sacrificed for you? Is all that matters what he does from 8-4? What about the fact I'm going to have 4 children at home and we are locked up inside a house 6 months out of the year b/c of bitter cold. What about me and my children's quality of life? My job at home is just as important as his at a workplace. I don't want to live here and have let him talk me out of moving for 10 years.
And yes, he is extremely scared of change. Which is why he keeps going back and forth. I can't keep doing it with him though. He is definitely thinking only of himself though. We are extremely familiar with the area and he does love it there.
No, it wasn't, but I did say I won't stay here, and since we have to be out of our current home in about a month, I guess that means I'd move with the kids alone. However he is the one who said he is done.
Has he asked for a divorce before? I guess I'm just baffled by the whole situation. You have 3 children and another one on the way. It just sounds like disaster to me and I can't imagine not trying to work through this.
so if someone breaks a promise (a very big one that you've been counting on) you just let that happen? What else can I do but give him an ultimatum? I keep the promises I make. I have held it all together all these years. I'm tired of being let down.
And of course my children would stay with me. I am 5 and a half months along and would never terminate a pregnancy.
I really cannot believe that everything is all about a job? What about family, better quality of life, what your partner wants? What has been sacrificed for you? Is all that matters what he does from 8-4? What about the fact I'm going to have 4 children at home and we are locked up inside a house 6 months out of the year b/c of bitter cold. What about me and my children's quality of life? My job at home is just as important as his at a workplace. I don't want to live here and have let him talk me out of moving for 10 years.
And yes, he is extremely scared of change. Which is why he keeps going back and forth. I can't keep doing it with him though. He is definitely thinking only of himself though. We are extremely familiar with the area and he does love it there.
Are you willing to stay there to save the marriage and your family?
Yes, he used to bring up divorce all the time, every fight. He's very immature that way. And I always tried to understand this is who he is, how his parents are, say horrible things then act like nothing happened. I am not built that way.
But this time, the difference is I am not going to forgive him for leaving or the terrible things he said while upset. If he can't keep this promise, and care enough about me to make me happy (because I feel like i'm always worried about his happiness) then I'm not staying here.
But this time, the difference is I am not going to forgive him for leaving or the terrible things he said while upset. If he can't keep this promise, and care enough about me to make me happy (because I feel like i'm always worried about his happiness) then I'm not staying here.
So it sounds like you want a divorce as well. All I know is that I would move anywhere to keep my family together. If neither of you is willing to budge - then I guess you both made your decision.
And of course my children would stay with me. I am 5 and a half months along and would never terminate a pregnancy.
I really cannot believe that everything is all about a job? .
Since the recession began, approximately 280,000 fewer teaching positions exist. Did it occur to you he is less safe, in terms of employment, as a new employee versus keeping a job he has had for some time? Why would anyone risk being a new employee for no gain?
In this economic environment, steady employment is even more vital than it was 10 years ago.
In divorce, in most cases, both spouses take a dramatic hit to their economic well-being. I assume by your home schooling you have been out of the workforce for many years. I hope this turns out differently than I expect it to. $ need to be your focus if this leads to divorce, not your zip code. Reread post 10 on page 1.
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