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It doesn't matter how you would rate her on a scale, it's the fact that in the moment, she flirted with you and you wilted.
Money is money, and it comes and goes, but what's important here is that she was able to get what she wanted out of you and that's all that matters, and if there's any future dates in the mix she's probably going to use you a lot more with only batting her eyelashes.
You know from your research that she has a history of economic problems. She's on POF because it's free. Then she sticks you with a $25 parking ticket? As someone else observed, it really takes guts to do that to a virtual stranger. Wow. I can't imagine. Maybe it was her way of testing you to see if you were a pushover/sucker.
I would proceed with caution here. Though you don't seem to care about any of these mounting red flags. So... it's your call. Your life. Your finances that would be impacted.
Believe it or not, I really do care more than you think. It's just so difficult to find the right personality type suitable for an ADD guy like me that I would be stupid to not allow this to play out a little more. I have been on too many blind dates, fix ups and internet dates where there wasn't anything there. What else would you do when presented with an opportunity where you do click?
I am very personable, talkative, funny ... but it's just hard to find that click thing going on.
That's the only reason I'm not being "zero tolerance" ... not yet. That's also why I didn't rush into another date right away.
Believe it or not, I really do care more than you think. It's just so difficult to find the right personality type suitable for an ADD guy like me that I would be stupid to not allow this to play out a little more. I have been on too many blind dates, fix ups and internet dates where there wasn't anything there. What else would you do when presented with an opportunity where you do click?
I am very personable, talkative, funny ... but it's just hard to find that click thing going on.
That's the only reason I'm not being "zero tolerance" ... not yet. That's also why I didn't rush into another date right away.
Ah, the old DEFENSE MECHANISM rears its ugly head! I see where you're coming from Beacon, but if this many people are saying you are getting played, than likely you're getting played. You have seen all the warning signs, but are back pedaling because you have a hard time meeting someone that clicks with you.
Look at it from this standpoint. So you continue to date and become an item, would you want to continue to deal with this kind of personality? Expecting the world from you without her lifting a finger? I say give it one more date, and if she continues to try to weasel herself out of paying for things, than she clearly only sees you as Mr. Moneybags. You don't want to be that guy in any type of relationship, plantonic or romantic.
Believe it or not, I really do care more than you think. It's just so difficult to find the right personality type suitable for an ADD guy like me that I would be stupid to not allow this to play out a little more. I have been on too many blind dates, fix ups and internet dates where there wasn't anything there. What else would you do when presented with an opportunity where you do click?
I am very personable, talkative, funny ... but it's just hard to find that click thing going on.
That's the only reason I'm not being "zero tolerance" ... not yet. That's also why I didn't rush into another date right away.
Ah. An overweight ADD guy, apparently. Your ADD doesn't seem to affect your work life and earning ability, though, right? You seem to have your act together. Don't feel like you have to settle because of the ADD.
Right, the click thing is, indeed, hard to find. I can see how that would make it a difficult decision. And I don't think it's because you have ADD. It's tricky for most people.
Let us know how Round II goes, when it happens.
P.S. When Round II does happen, keep your wallet closed, except for whatever entertainment or food expenses. See how she reacts to that. Or invite her on a cheap date/free date, and see what happens.
Ah, the old DEFENSE MECHANISM rears its ugly head! I see where you're coming from Beacon, but if this many people are saying you are getting played, than likely you're getting played. You have seen all the warning signs, but are back pedaling because you have a hard time meeting someone that clicks with you.
Look at it from this standpoint. So you continue to date and become an item, would you want to continue to deal with this kind of personality? Expecting the world from you without her lifting a finger? I say give it one more date, and if she continues to try to weasel herself out of paying for things, than she clearly only sees you as Mr. Moneybags.You don't want to be that guy in any type of relationship, plantonic or romantic.
I wouldn't disagree with any of that.
But I truly do need the "click" thing. It's hard for me to stay focused otherwise. I simply don't have the personality type where I can sit and make polite, boring conversation all night. I kind of need to be engaged and kind of entertained (not the right word but somewhat along these lines) and that has always been hard for me to find.
I'm not like most other people. I'm a little out there on the bell curve myself so it isn't that easy.
One of my exes got scammed by a woman just like this. Like you OP, my ex was insecure about his looks and fearful of being alone so he met this woman online who insisted because she was a "real woman" that he should pay for everything. He did and once his money started ending so did their "relationship". He's now a bitter 45 year old man convinced all women are gold diggers.
One of my exes got scammed by a woman just like this. Like you OP, my ex was insecure about his looks and fearful of being alone so he met this woman online who insisted because she was a "real woman" that he should pay for everything. He did and once his money started ending so did their "relationship". He's now a bitter 45 year old man convinced all women are gold diggers.
In all modesty, overall I think I'm a great guy. Like most others on this board, though, I know what I want but don't exactly know how and where to go about finding it.
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