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Is your husband angry because he expects dinner to be prepared for him ?
Is he angry because he wants to have a sit down dinner with you ?
Is he angry because you go to work, then go out again in the evening and spend no time with him?
Is he angry because you're spending money eating out ?
Does he think you're meeting other people when you eat out?
Have you sent down and asked him where the problem lies?
If you're hungry after work, could you not carry some carrot/celery sticks/crackers in the car and snack on those until you got home. Then you could prepare dinner, eat with him and then go to the gym.
It sounds as if you plan busy days, when you have no time for your hubby. That may be the cause of his resentment. On days when you're know you're not going to be home early, could you just skip going to the gym ?
Marriage is compromise and when one person feels ignored ( hubby) or see his wife choosing to do things other than be with him, it's not good. You have to work at a marriage, not take it for granted.
I'm sure there is a common ground there, you and your husband just have to find it.
My husband couldn't cook, so I left him extra meals to heat up and he was fine with that. On weekends or days I didn't have classes, we would eat together. Sometimes he hung out with my brother on nights I wasn't home. You just need to discuss it and come to an agreement that works for both of you.
You wouldn't be that stupid, though. You're a smart guy. You'd eat when you got hungry.
But sometimes it's nice to come home from work and eat dinner together with your SO. I guess what it comes down to is that her husband needs to realize she's got a rather unusual work schedule and he needs to either wait patiently for her to get home or cook himself.
It's not shocking I just don't know how to ask the right question to solve it.
Gee we seem to have different expectations about evenings. This is my schedule, what I currently do. How would you envision this going differently?
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And what are the key questions to ask each other in a way that makes sense to both of us. As well determining each others' expectations. Hence I came here. What are other golks schedules and routine that maybe give us guidance, starting point and ideas.
You don't need other people's schedules. You need to figure out yours, both of yours.
He does cook but only once a week now. He was cooking 3 times a week , but has scaled back. He said its bc my cooking has improved and is awesome now and tastes much better than his.
What is a reasonable schedule though? If I get out of work at 6 and then workout then eat at 8 then cook for the next day it works. But there's days I don't get out till 7 or 8 so I get to the gym at like 9 then cook at ten. ( usually we eat food from the night before or I make Enuf to last for two days.)
Is something like for me to be home twice a week and cook and dinner by 730. And two other days he cooks and I'm just home by 730 to eat. Then go to gym.
I'll have to think about this . It just seems so controlled and restrictive. With limited flexibility.
He does cook but only once a week now. He was cooking 3 times a week , but has scaled back. He said its bc my cooking has improved and is awesome now and tastes much better than his.
What is a reasonable schedule though?
A reasonable schedule is not a worksheet that a bunch of dopes on the internet tell you it is. It is what you and your husband works out it is. It's called marriage.
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If I get out of work at 6 and then workout then eat at 8 then cook for the next day it works. But there's days I don't get out till 7 or 8 so I get to the gym at like 9 then cook at ten. ( usually we eat food from the night before or I make Enuf to last for two days.)
Is something like for me to be home twice a week and cook and dinner by 730. And two other days he cooks and I'm just home by 730 to eat. Then go to gym.
I'll have to think about this . It just seems so controlled and restrictive. With limited flexibility.
A couple times this week I was starving after getting out of work. So I ate before getting home. I then went home then gym then cooked. I couldn't wait to eat after cooking bc by the time I was done with cooking and the gym it was after 10. But at least I had lunch and dinner for the next day.
My work schedule is very inconsistent so I sometime don't get to the gym till 10 pm and then cook at 11pm. And sometimes one day in the week it's late or I'm tired and don't cook. Is it a big deal to grab something after work to keep me going for the evening. My husband gets very very angry when I do that. I don't get it.
What's preventing him from cooking?
[or cracking open a can of Chef Boyardee?]
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