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Hmm I think he wants to 7 days a week for dinner plus breakfast on weekends together. I'm ok with just fri - sun for dinner and sat/sun breakfast.
I just have no interest in doing that , that often . But I think he feels rejected bc of that. I like to eat alone sometimes and I like being by myself at times. It really bothers him. But the way I grew up and lived I became accustomed to that. Whereas my husband grew up with a lot of family with ppl around all the time.
but suddenly he has agrophobia (sp)? I don't understand that and the schedules should have been worked out years ago since you have been married so long. It appears there could be much more to this entire story that what you are writing however, bottom line is you should be having these discussions with YOUR HUSBAND not a bunch of people on a public forum who do not know either of you.
Married 7 years? How long has the situation you describe in the OP been going on? How long has he been angry? It seems like you've taken for granted that he'll adjust to the demands of your schedule and your choices. It's hard to know what to say without more information.
It started happening about three years ago, when my work schedule got crazy and I actually started to make a couple friends and wanted the ability to go out like the mall a couple times a month. It's not a money issue bc he's the spender whereas ill just window shop or purchase within reason based on how much we earn .
I don't get how some men can fix and build motors, houses, plumbing, follow complicated step by step procedures, yet can't throw some salt and pepper on a rinsed piece of chicken and throw it in the oven at 350 degrees for an hour. It seems very childish and needy. Cooking basic meals is very easy.
Simple. I bet the issue is a lot more involved than cooking the meal. I think it is interesting after 7 years of marriage that they are having pretty big communication issues over something like dinner on school nights.
I think it would be a good idea for the OP to have a sit down with her husband very soon and discuss some things. How can a forum solve a problem when the OP can't even figure out how to have a conversation with her 7 year husband?
Talking is the first step.....
It started happening about three years ago, when my work schedule got crazy and I actually started to make a couple friends and wanted the ability to go out like the mall a couple times a month. It's not a money issue bc he's the spender whereas ill just window shop or purchase within reason based on how much we earn .
And when did he drop back from cooking for himself 3x/wk to once/wk? I smell control issues. Hubby doesn't like his wife going out, having friends, coming home late. So he stops cooking for himself (using the creative excuse that her skills have improved so her cooking is better than his, now--wow! That's a prize-winner), and throws tantrums.
And I can't help but wonder if the OP's sort of egging him on. Who needs to go the the gym 7 days/week? I think the OP is asserting some independence just as her hubby is protesting the very same. And the more he protests, the more she exercises her independence. Maybe.
Why did you not have any friends until 3 years ago, OP? Did you relocate to his city for the marriage?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 02-23-2013 at 08:40 PM..
A couple times this week I was starving after getting out of work. So I ate before getting home. I then went home then gym then cooked. I couldn't wait to eat after cooking bc by the time I was done with cooking and the gym it was after 10. But at least I had lunch and dinner for the next day.
My work schedule is very inconsistent so I sometime don't get to the gym till 10 pm and then cook at 11pm. And sometimes one day in the week it's late or I'm tired and don't cook. Is it a big deal to grab something after work to keep me going for the evening. My husband gets very very angry when I do that. I don't get it.
Why don't you eat a more substantial lunch to get you through to dinner?
Your husband is a whiny little douche bag and needs to get over it. My ex-wife would pull that crap on me along with "we need to go to bed at the same time and I'm going to cry and scream if we don't".
He does cook but only once a week now. He was cooking 3 times a week , but has scaled back. He said its bc my cooking has improved and is awesome now and tastes much better than his.
What is a reasonable schedule though? If I get out of work at 6 and then workout then eat at 8 then cook for the next day it works. But there's days I don't get out till 7 or 8 so I get to the gym at like 9 then cook at ten. ( usually we eat food from the night before or I make Enuf to last for two days.)
Is something like for me to be home twice a week and cook and dinner by 730. And two other days he cooks and I'm just home by 730 to eat. Then go to gym.
I'll have to think about this . It just seems so controlled and restrictive. With limited flexibility.
limited flexibility??
from this and another post you made,,,you dont need a husband,,you need a cat
communicate to him..plain and simple,,when you will be home,,
Telll him to eat what i did when i was in college...beannie weenies. He will then appreciate anything u serve at any hour.
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