Why has it been so hard for me to find a friend with benefits? (call, friendship)
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I think the reason this is not working for you is that these FWBs are not friends first just some random dudes you want to ball.Look at your friends.
Perhaps...
I mentioned this before and it's so ironic to me that something I thought would be so easy to do has actually been much harder to accomplish than I expected....so I can't deny the fact that it's probably the universe trying to tell me I should wait for a more ideal/better situation...
It's just that I recently reached a point where I am tired of waiting for a relationship...I miss having affection in my life. I once was celibate for 4 years, waiting on a relationship to have sex...it was hard, but then I met a man, fell in love with him, only for him to tell me a year down the line that he couldn't commit.
So after breaking away from that situation, I went back to waiting again..2 years passed and I miss having affection in my life. Why should I wait for the ideal situation to happen (a committed relationship) when it may never happen? Honestly, if I were a man writing this post, I don't believe I would be getting the same responses I'm getting now...I don't think as many people would be telling me to wait, or that something's wrong with me, etc...rather the tone would probably be more along the lines of 'men will be men'...but since I'm a woman, people can't understand why I'd only want someone for sex.
So he texts me again apologizing for the other night and his "issue". Then goes on to say that he'd been thinking a lot about what happened and he said he thought his "problem" was more than a physical issue...he said that he thinks the real issue is that he's really just not a FWB kinda guy, and therefore not a good fit for me. That i needed to get what i wanted, and he couldnt provide me with it. I said ok, and left it at that.
I do wonder what's the real issue here, though..i was thinking it could be a number of things:
Maybe he wasn't as attracted to me as he'd been putting on
Maybe he's with someone and the guilt kept him from
going through with it psychologically
Maybe he'd rather save face and not take the chance of letting me down a second time if his 'issue' happens again
My instincts are telling me it's a combo of the last two points...
No no no. You are over thinking this-why would he lie?Why would he even talk to you againjust to make some s%%t up? Just believe that he is telling the truth and continue to look for a horny friend.
1) You NEVER START with a BJ. It's just very intense for guys, and the visual aspect alone can cause the same exact thing that happened in your situation. You save that move for later on, like a cherry on top.
2) Believe what he's telling you. His body is not cooperating because he feels no real attraction. That's why I said, way back in post #15, that in order to be FWB you need to at least be friends first. There has to be SOME reason you're with each other besides rubbing body parts together. At least he told you instead of making up some BS excuse.
The truth is he's not as into it as he thought he'd be.
1) You NEVER START with a BJ. It's just very intense for guys, and the visual aspect alone can cause the same exact thing that happened in your situation. You save that move for later on, like a cherry on top.
2) Believe what he's telling you. His body is not cooperating because he feels no real attraction. That's why I said, way back in post #15, that in order to be FWB you need to at least be friends first. There has to be SOME reason you're with each other besides rubbing body parts together. At least he told you instead of making up some BS excuse.
The truth is he's not as into it as he thought he'd be.
Interesting...I usually like to start with a BJ...really gets the guy going...
And I just assumed as much as he'd been pursuing me over the past month, that the attraction was def high enough...oh well...
Well....I think some of you will be happy to know that I think I've officially given up on this conquest lol....
I had a date set up with a guy, met him, and I swear he used someone else's pics lol....he looked nothing like in the photos he sent...it was so bad I had to cut the date short lol
Another guy who I felt actually had more serious potential who I met while out and about 2 months ago I just gave up on...he's just too busy with work/his daughter...keeps making dates then habitually 'forgets' about them/I'll never hear back from him about them.
I'd been talking to this other guy I'm really attracted to for about a month...we'd finally scheduled something for tonite...and he just texts me saying he totaled his car late last night lol
It's kinda scary because I have a fear it'll be 'forever' before I 'get any' again...I'm in a new city and don't know many people or get out much. Plus I'm pretty shy. *sigh* Guess it's just a sign I need to focus more of my time studying for this GMAT....
Well....I think some of you will be happy to know that I think I've officially given up on this conquest lol....
I had a date set up with a guy, met him, and I swear he used someone else's pics lol....he looked nothing like in the photos he sent...it was so bad I had to cut the date short lol
Another guy who I felt actually had more serious potential who I met while out and about 2 months ago I just gave up on...he's just too busy with work/his daughter...keeps making dates then habitually 'forgets' about them/I'll never hear back from him about them.
I'd been talking to this other guy I'm really attracted to for about a month...we'd finally scheduled something for tonite...and he just texts me saying he totaled his car late last night lol
It's kinda scary because I have a fear it'll be 'forever' before I 'get any' again...I'm in a new city and don't know many people or get out much. Plus I'm pretty shy. *sigh* Guess it's just a sign I need to focus more of my time studying for this GMAT....
That's a good idea. It seems you're almost desperate for sex, and pretty much anyone will do. Although you're in a dry spell, have some self-respect and not be willing to throw yourself at anyone.
It's not like you'll never have sex again, but your desperation is working against you. If you focus your attention elsewhere, to bigger and more important priorities, the sex aspect will fall into place when it's supposed to, not because you're scrambling after it.
1) You NEVER START with a BJ. It's just very intense for guys, and the visual aspect alone can cause the same exact thing that happened in your situation. You save that move for later on, like a cherry on top.
2) Believe what he's telling you. His body is not cooperating because he feels no real attraction. That's why I said, way back in post #15, that in order to be FWB you need to at least be friends first. There has to be SOME reason you're with each other besides rubbing body parts together. At least he told you instead of making up some BS excuse.
The truth is he's not as into it as he thought he'd be.
#1 is not true for all guys, and I've been with some very skilled people. I love when she begins with it, ...obviously I don't know how other guys are though.
#2. Sometimes losing it just happens, particularly with new partners. I've had that happen...you simply do other stuff, make sure she's pleased and try again another night. Nerves and being with someone new sometimes gets to you. It happens, only a big deal if people make it into one. Oh, it can turn into a cycle and self-fulfilling prophecy if the guy starts freaking out and gets anxiety about it. But it will pass..
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