U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-25-2013, 08:42 AM
 
823 posts, read 1,732,931 times
Reputation: 907

Advertisements

When a man and a woman start a relationship it's common, and even normal that they create an intimate bond, and they regard anything outside the relationship as unimportant, or alien, at least for the first stages of the relationship. It's like "us and the rest of the world".

They create a special complicity, a secret language. I guess it's in the DNA of people.

But every now and again, I come across couples who seem to take this to the extreme, and make anyone around them uncomfortable.

When they are in a public place , they use a body language a bit too agressive, like if the rest of the people were a threat or a pain in the butt and they don´t even make an effort to conceal it.

I am not talking about kissing in public, or sweet talk, or stuff like that. I am talking about something deeper, some sort of toxic tension that creates a negative energy around them.

So I wonder, could this be a sign of long term potential or lack thereof? I mean, a couple who behaves in a natural, casual way in public has better chances to make it in the long run (high social IQ) than a couple who behaves in a tense, agressive/segregationist way? (low social IQ)


Another interesting aspect is the way some couples create very specific inner workings. For example, it's common to find husbands who do paedophilic stuff and their wives know it but turn a blind eye, or even help them and take a more active role and she covers him up. ( plenty of cases on the news)

Another example is the husband who sends his wife to be a prostitute.

I mean, sometimes there's some sort of "toxic chemistry" among couples, and I wonder if they would do the same if they were single, or married to a different type of person.


What do you think about the whole thing?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-25-2013, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,246 posts, read 94,146,467 times
Reputation: 40068
Water always seeks its own level.

Some people have depth while others just have deep issues.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:16 AM
 
6,040 posts, read 5,217,270 times
Reputation: 16753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Javier77 View Post
For example, it's common to find husbands who do paedophilic stuff and their wives know it but turn a blind eye, or even help them and take a more active role and she covers him up. ( plenty of cases on the news)

Another example is the husband who sends his wife to be a prostitute.

I mean, sometimes there's some sort of "toxic chemistry" among couples, and I wonder if they would do the same if they were single, or married to a different type of person.


What do you think about the whole thing?
Really really lost me here. Common??!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Western Colorado
12,305 posts, read 14,595,656 times
Reputation: 31003
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Water always seeks its own level..
Quote of the day! I agree.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:29 AM
 
823 posts, read 1,732,931 times
Reputation: 907
Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
Really really lost me here. Common??!


I mean that it looks like some people are changed by the inner nature of the relationship, and they end up doing stuff they wouldn´t do if the were single or married to another type of person.

For example, maybe a 20 year old single woman would think that cover up for a paedophilic husband is crazy, maybe that woman thinks different 15 years later when the guy she married turned out to be one.

Or that 20 year old man would say he would never do x stuff but ends updoing it with his wife just a few year later.

The examples are extreme, of course, it's just to get the idea across.

Last edited by Javier77; 02-25-2013 at 09:40 AM..
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:35 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 17,374,161 times
Reputation: 11673
Some people get blinded by their own emotional lust (love) for someone, and can allow that emotion to blind them to things which may be major issues down the road in their relationship.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:46 AM
 
14,383 posts, read 16,210,341 times
Reputation: 42899
I have an aunt and uncle like this. They both have entitlement issues and they feed each other's paranoia and sense of being owed something. They've passed this viewpoint on to a few of their kids, and one has married someone who does exactly the same thing for her. It's rather depressing to watch.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:48 AM
 
14,383 posts, read 16,210,341 times
Reputation: 42899
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Water always seeks its own level.

Some people have depth while others just have deep issues.
Good to see you back
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:52 AM
 
14,955 posts, read 19,639,758 times
Reputation: 12126
"Toxic chemistry" most definitely exists in some couples and it's obvious to everyone else even though the couple thinks no one notices.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:59 AM
 
3,499 posts, read 4,305,758 times
Reputation: 2170
Can't say that I've noticed it...different couples give off different vibes, but usually I don't see it as a negative.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top