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Her wish for a high maintenance lifestyle is the only bad quality about her. She's pretty smart, charming, and attractive. She works as a nurse, but she doesn't like to work many hours, so she only brings in around so much. If I could teach her some financial responsibility, we'd be very compatible with each other...
She "doesn't like to work many hours" but she thinks she's entitled to spend her boyfriend's money - money that she didn't earn, has no legal entitlement to, and obviously isn't willing to work for herself? Sweetie, I've got bad news for you... she's a gold-digger. If she doesn't like to work many hours than she can not expect to live the lifestyle of someone who DOES work many hours.
And for the record... I'm a woman!
I'm not saying spouses shouldn't share incomes - but when a mere girlfriend is making such presumptions, it's a big red flag.
I will be working 12 hour days, sometimes more.
I was actually hoping to live a frugal lifestyle, not that much more expensive than my current one. Reason is, I want to save for early retirement.
Just say this. And you're smart for living frugally. Just don't ignore/neglect your girlfriend. Give her your free time and infinite love.
Her wish for a high maintenance lifestyle is the only bad quality about her. She's pretty smart, charming, and attractive. She works as a nurse, but she doesn't like to work many hours, so she only brings in around so much. If I could teach her some financial responsibility, we'd be very compatible with each other...
What do you mean by not working many hours? She works full time, but has the possibility of working overtime. Or does she work part time?
Like others have said, you explain to her your philosophy of life and she is either on board or not.
I do have questions though. I'm going on a vacation this summer with some family members. I'm paying my own expenses. What we do and where we eat though, will be influenced by other's needs/wants for frugality. That is fine to a certain extent. Is this a situation where even if she is paying her own way, she thinks now that you will have money, you will both be able to enjoy certain things that you couldn't before(but you both still pay your own way?
Who pays most of the time now?
How has this come up. Have you been telling her about the substantial amount of money you'll be making after graduation?
Yikes. If she wants to live in a fancy apartment tell her to get her butt back to school and get a better job, so she can afford it herself. She sounds kind of lazy and entitled to me.
Just reading the OP irritated me. That chick has a lot of nerve. Who does she think she is to be entitled to his money? In his situation, I'd be out of there so fast there would be smoke behind me, and she'd be making that "aye-ee-ee-aye-ee-ee-aye" sound Wile E. Coyote makes after an anvil falls on his head.
OP, is she your first girlfriend? Because I can assure you that there are plenty of smart, attractive, witty, charming women out there who aren't going to start salivating over your future salary the way she is.
But if you simply must learn the hard way, tell her that you're not planning on living large because you're hoping to retire early. Tell her that if she wants a blingy kind of lifestyle, she'll need to fund it herself or find another man. When you get out of school, get your own apartment, one that you deem affordable for your lifestyle. Let her pay for her own. She's a nurse. They make decent money. There are really no excuses for her except laziness, and if you go along with it, you'll just be enabling her.
You can't make her learn anything...she's an adult. The only person you can control is you and all you can do is lead by example.
You know what you need to say so this is not about how to say it. I think your concerns are that if you are firm in your goals and don't give her what she wants that there will be negative repercussions. This is a choice between doing what she wants and making yourself miserable and doing what you want and maybe losing her as a result.
Liking lavish things and being a bit materialstic might be her only faults but there really bad faults to have; especially since she doesn't like to work. You better put your foot down and review the expectations the two of you have for each other. If she is looking to be taken care of and thinking that she is going to be living in luxury while working part-time or no-time your best bet is to be straight with her. Tell her if she wants to live in a deluxe apartment in the sky that she had better go to work full-time and maybe even sign up for a few OT shifts here and there to pay for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid
Her wish for a high maintenance lifestyle is the only bad quality about her. She's pretty smart, charming, and attractive. She works as a nurse, but she doesn't like to work many hours, so she only brings in around so much. If I could teach her some financial responsibility, we'd be very compatible with each other...
Her wish for a high maintenance lifestyle is the only bad quality about her. She's pretty smart, charming, and attractive. She works as a nurse, but she doesn't like to work many hours, so she only brings in around so much. If I could teach her some financial responsibility, we'd be very compatible with each other...
Whoopee ****. Those qualities don't mean squat. Brains without common sense and a moral compass is worthless. My parents are both charming and attractive people, and they are both narcissists (or at least my mother has narcissistic tendencies if she's not a full-blown narcissist). What is her moral code? Does she view you as anything more than the goose that's going to lay the golden egg? Is she invested in your happiness?
You're not even married - not even engaged - and she's making plans what to do with your money. That's pretty self-centered, don't you think? If she wants a high-maintenance lifestyle, let her get it herself.
What do you mean by not working many hours? She works full time, but has the possibility of working overtime. Or does she work part time?
Like others have said, you explain to her your philosophy of life and she is either on board or not.
I do have questions though. I'm going on a vacation this summer with some family members. I'm paying my own expenses. What we do and where we eat though, will be influenced by other's needs/wants for frugality. That is fine to a certain extent. Is this a situation where even if she is paying her own way, she thinks now that you will have money, you will both be able to enjoy certain things that you couldn't before(but you both still pay your own way?
Who pays most of the time now?
How has this come up. Have you been telling her about the substantial amount of money you'll be making after graduation?
I pay most of the times, despite currently being poorer. But that's because it's my belief that a gentleman should pay.
It came up after I told her news of my job offer. We've been talking about moving in with each other and she's been telling me details on what she wants to look for.
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