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Men have been getting women for thousands of years. It should not be such a mystery. A lot of what I see in this thread isn't a sign that women are hard to get, but some guys just take something that biology helps work out on it's own and make it a million times more difficult.
(BTW, I have been the guy who could not figure out how to attract or keep women too, so I have experience in that regard).
I don't know if every woman feels this way, but I know I feel strongly about this.
When someone hits on you, you want it to be because of who you are. Because of your personality, accomplishments, and what you have to offer. Because you worked hard to not only look good, but because you're intelligent, generous, funny, and accomplished.
However, it has been my experience, that most men will hit on you simply because you are one of many targets with a hooha...and it's part of some scattershot strategy - try a bunch of times because eventually one will say yes.
It's not because of anything special or pertinent to YOU. You could be anyone. Outside the superficial, it doesn't seem to matter.
THAT is one of the most truly offensive things I have experienced about being hit on by men.
And that is why when someone cold hits on me (a stranger in a public place), I am actually usually very put off and offended. You don't know anything about me, so I know for a fact that you can't truly be attracted to me and who I am. It's gross.
Funny. I've had women do exactly the same thing to me. And, that's as far as it got.
Numbers game. Regardless of what's said by women here, men are the ones who approach women and the only way men can actually have results is by approaching many women they find attractive or otherwise.
You don't ever hear anyone calmly discussing how they had to get rejected by 100 women before they found there current GF, you might hear the question of how did you meet.
no one is anyone's "worst enemy" since men as a whole understand that they have to deal with constant rejection from women to try to find a woman who finds him attractive as well.
I know. Good grief. And then complaining about each other afterwards. I had no idea so many men pretend to be women.
Q: She seemed so friendly online and then she bailed! What gives?
A: Maybe "she" was a guy messing with you.
Q: I send out dozens of messages on dating sites and never hear back! What gives?
A: Maybe they are all fake profiles set up by men doing secret research about how many guys hit on hot chicks.
Q: This girl seems too good to be true! What gives?
A: Have you considered she is really a man?
Here's the thing, online chat rooms and "dating" via the internet gives the chance to group of perverts and idiots to efficiently manage to send hundreds of messages to all women. They make up a small fraction of society and they literally cause congestion of woman's inbox. Imagine if all the jerks could be hitting on all the girls in various caffes at the same time. They don't care since they seek for any pass, it's a game of numbers and they will get a response sooner or later.
On the other hand, regular guys who make vast majority of dating world will go with the following - they'll go after securing themselves a job or something to offer in a relationship, otherwise they'll stick with their friends or not date at all. And when they start dating, not many will go with the "game of numbers" because they'll seek for serious relationship.
My general observation on how it goes in Bosnia - maybe 5% of folks are perverts and idiots and they hit on women seeking a pass, being 20 times more active than the rest of the folks. This makes the number of "false courting encounters" close to 50-50 chance for a woman. In USA, the proportion of jerks is considerably larger, but so is number of unsuitable women. Now just imagine what kind of "dating traffic" proportion is done by those trolls in USA. Trolling attempts might be even 10 times more numerous than folks seeking for serious relationships, and you also have women who are unsuitable as well... and then just add the "online factor" where such folks will indeed get all the attention with their spamming. Also add the silly thing that people keep on waiting for princes and princesses to show up, it's the online dating world after all, nobody knows your true identity, you can be real jerk and set your bar incredibly high because you think you deserve it. Your logic says that there are thousands, tens and hundreds of thousands of folks out there on dating sites and you could win the lottery any minute... so the whole system of choice becomes a curse in a way. I think the system works for some folks so it's NOT so bad. But, generally speaking people, who have success in online dating are probably having success in normal life dating, unless they are kind of shy or something... or their profile is just false.
If you have limited ability in real world dating, online dating will generally lower your chances. In fact, online dating works as an amplifier of both, one's success and failure in the dating world. Only good thing for people who had no luck with dating in real world is that they are "continuously dating" in virtual world, their profile is right there for others to see it even when they are sleeping or at work. It requires quite little effort to post a few messages indeed. So it's just about either lowering your standards OR setting your mind clear on something realistic, something that you truly want. Given that most of the "offers" are done by the jerks, you can only THINK that woman will have it easy in online dating. Yes, she'll have an easy time to connect with guys who just want to have sex, since they're bombing their message boxes with all kinds of "comments" (to say the least) in attempts to find some woman who will be responsive to their calls. To find something else than that? No. The more attention she gets, the bigger the chance that she'll keep deleting inbox messages without putting much effort.
But at the very least, can't they come up with more intelligent, charming ways to get a lady's attention instead of being like desperate dogs? I don't mean to put down all or most men, but the way they behave sometimes makes me ashamed to be male.
Then you'll love this: Yesterday, while at one of those large office supply stores [name withheld to protect the foolish] where I was trying out different chairs, the salesman plunked himself down across from me and said, "These are very comfortable. Maybe you and I could sit down and sleep together."
I mean .
I just kind of looked at him like .
As a friend of mine put it, "He probably cringes every time he hears his own voice say it."
On OkCupid, I have to put up a fake profile/picture of a female in order for me to put up pictures of women for men to choose from in the old My Best Face contest so that I can see which kinds of women are less attractive to men. Those of you who are familiar with My Best Face know what I mean. The female's picture I put up is that of a female from another site and a far away state who did reject/ignore me. I was attracted to her although society would deem her to be very unattractive or a 1, my impression of her is that she is an idiot or some sort of mental vegetable who doesn't know what's going on beyond 3 feet away, that's the sort of impression we men get from a girl who repeatedly ignores us, is on a site for over 5 years, never changes her picture or her (simpleton) profile.
I had to give her a fake profile, its on the level of a sweet third grader, she's also unemployed (in her late 50's) in the profile and has no money. She answers the OkCupid questions as if she were anti sexual, afraid of romance, arrogant, unintelligent, unimaginative etc.............
The few men who contact her send her generic messages for sex coded as to sound for romance, these are unsolicited and would be embarrassing to the slobs who must be sending this garbage out to every Tam, Dee and Harriet on OKC. A few of the slobs are married and admit to this, "my girl" writes THEM and only THEM back telling them that "she" knows "a good man" who would be glad to marry his poor suffering wife if he would divorce her so that he could "swing" a little without having to worry about being caught.
Very few men write to "my girl"
Now this is just some creeper crap right here. Seriously. Worse than the OP. Who are you to post someone else's picture like that?
I don't see where you're any better than the opportunists who send "her" the coded messages for sex. Apparently you feel that because she is a 1 and you are a 2, she should thank her lucky stars that someone "above" her paid her any attention. You are just like them: You both seek to exploit what you perceive to be low intelligence and low social value just to get something for yourselves.
Revolting.
And you wonder why you have such a hard time with women? Really?
How to initiate, foster, grow, and maintain relationships is about deeply understanding yourself first (not just wants, desires, morals, etc, but what makes you tick, what you love, hate, can accept, cannot). Then, applying the knowledge of yourself to be giving and caring (loving) towards your partner in a relationship.
It's not about running tests online, or reading, or analyzing, or compiling data, or making assumptions about general societal trends.
Each relationship is an encounter between two individuals which form a highly unique and personalized dynamic where general trends, data, analysis, etc all go out the window.
BTW, there is also good data and bad data to analyze. Good data has been put together by experts. Bad data is posing as a woman in a chat forum and drawing generalized conclusions on what is right or wrong with men.
Now this is just some creeper crap right here. Seriously. Worse than the OP. Who are you to post someone else's picture like that?
I don't see where you're any better than the opportunists who send "her" the coded messages for sex. Apparently you feel that because she is a 1 and you are a 2, she should thank her lucky stars that someone "above" her paid her any attention. You are just like them: You both seek to exploit what you perceive to be low intelligence and low social value just to get something for yourselves.
Revolting.
And you wonder why you have such a hard time with women? Really?
Personally, I think any person who creates fake profiles on a dating site for any reason is a creeper
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