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I've never noticed a pattern. It depended more on who had fewer/no roommates and if one person lived in a more convenient location.
Before my partner moved in with me he spent a lot of time at my place because I had one absentee roommate and lived relatively close to where we both worked, and he had three roommates and lived about an hour-long subway ride away. When we moved in together it was to a "neutral" place, but it was a unique situation because we moved abroad together. When we moved back to NYC we got a new apartment together.
I recently started seeing someone, and I spend way more time at his place than he does at mine.
He owns a 2-bed, 2-bath condo in a really fun, exciting part of the city (Chicago). He keeps his place clean, and it's obvious he takes pride in where he lives. There are tons of restaurants and bars near his place, so we almost always go out in his neighborhood.
I rent a small, one-bed apartment that's on the border of the city and suburbs. My neighborhood is decent, but it's pretty sedate. There's a lot less to see and do where I live, and it's less convenient to get to than his place. My apartment is nice enough (it's clean, and I have it nicely decorated) but the entire place is about the size of his living room. Also... he has a big, flat-screen TV with cable... and I don't.
I've only had him over at my place once, whereas I'm at his place almost every week. I'd actually like to have him over more often, but it's kind of inconvenient, and his place is so much nicer than mine...
Most men in their 20's places leave a lot to be desired. I am currently dating someone who likes nice things and takes pride in buying nice furniture and making his apartment his own. So, we spend the night at each other's places equally. Normally Sat at mine and Friday at his.
Oh, yeah, I totally remember that. The guy's furniture would be an old couch from college and some milk crates as a coffee table, he never had an food in the house, and don't even get me started on the bathroom situation.
I am not sure there really is a general pattern to be established here. Probably depends on what accomodations each partner has (if they have them). If one has roommates, the other doesn't, one has a nice place, the other kind of a lousy one, etc.
Oh, yeah, I totally remember that. The guy's furniture would be an old couch from college and some milk crates as a coffee table, he never had an food in the house, and don't even get me started on the bathroom situation.
This pretty much described my husbands apartment in college. The couch they had must have been about 25yrs old, easily. The furniture was all "recycled", meaning those moving out would toss it next to the dumpster, and those moving in would have themselves a "new" couch.
It was pretty disgusting. I used to go over there on the weekends and I would wear flip flops in the shower.
I will say that he is pretty neat though, his roommates were another story. I stopped using utensils there when I saw one of them scraching his back under the shirt with a fork, take it to the sink, rinse it and put it in the drawer *vomit*
Oh, yeah, I totally remember that. The guy's furniture would be an old couch from college and some milk crates as a coffee table, he never had an food in the house, and don't even get me started on the bathroom situation.
Man, this reminds me of life before my wife! I had a broken up futon held together by zip ties and propped up with a stack of phone books. I had sports stuff everywhere, muscle car stuff everywhere, and never had any food in the place. One time my brother visited and opened the fridge to find no food but lots of beer. In the middle of the living room floor was the flywheel to a 1966 Mustang I was building at the time. My wife on her first visit to my place asked what it is and why I didn't put it somewhere. I shrugged and said, "It IS somewhere!"
Now we have a house with some fairly decent furniture, ranging from Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Arhaus, and Ethan Allen, as well as some less expensive stuff. It is amazing the "before" and "after." In answer to the OP's question, we live together. Always have. Our relationship is based on mutual respect and everything we own is ours, not hers or mine.
They've moved in with me. My house has always been just a bit nicer than the cardboard box in the alley where I've picked 'em up. Besides that, their boxes would have been too crowded after me and my pets moved in.
this is actually a great question,,,, and this is the yield in the road for many relationships- who moves in with who? assuming a somewhat equal playing field.. does the one moving in...lose some independence, lose some security, because you no longer have a place that is "yours"? if not married, the home-owner can boot you out at any time, for anything??
and then...how do you split expenses, down the middle, or a ratio/percentage of income??
the common denominator to the potentially very difficult life changing situation, is that if you love the other person- all this isnt so difficult...
but be prepared, once you get out of the bedroom, you better be open to change, or you will be shyttin, where you are eating
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