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Would you consider starting a new relationship, knowing that the other person was moving across the country in a few months? This guy and I have been really close for years and know each other super well. We've connected romantically recently, but I've been reluctant to make it more serious because of his impending move (east coast to west coast). I'm developing real feelings and want to take it to that next level, but I'm hesitant. I am in the position to move within the next year or so if it works out, but that feels like a crazy commitment to think about now. At the same time I don't want to miss out on a potentially great relationship because of something like this. Thoughts? We started to have the conversation about it yesterday, but didn't really come to a conclusion.
So, you just started feeling romantic towards each other when he is suddenly planning on moving long distance? Is it possible that:
a) One or both of you have commitment issues, so now there's a "road block" to a real commitment and this allows for a safe romantic entanglement
or
b) You are unhappy in your current locale and see moving with him as a way to escape. He's always felt that way towards you, but now that you are showing him feelings (with ultimately the goal only being to get outta dodge) he's reciprocating
I'm not saying that either of those scenarios apply, but it's worth investigating in yourself.
Would you consider starting a new relationship, knowing that the other person was moving across the country in a few months? This guy and I have been really close for years and know each other super well. We've connected romantically recently, but I've been reluctant to make it more serious because of his impending move (east coast to west coast). I'm developing real feelings and want to take it to that next level, but I'm hesitant. I am in the position to move within the next year or so if it works out, but that feels like a crazy commitment to think about now. At the same time I don't want to miss out on a potentially great relationship because of something like this. Thoughts? We started to have the conversation about it yesterday, but didn't really come to a conclusion.
So, you just started feeling romantic towards each other when he is suddenly planning on moving long distance? Is it possible that:
a) One or both of you have commitment issues, so now there's a "road block" to a real commitment and this allows for a safe romantic entanglement
or
b) You are unhappy in your current locale and see moving with him as a way to escape. He's always felt that way towards you, but now that you are showing him feelings (with ultimately the goal only being to get outta dodge) he's reciprocating
I'm not saying that either of those scenarios apply, but it's worth investigating in yourself.
hmm interesting. b doesn't apply. I love it here and would be hesitant to move unless it was for the right reasons.
But I think you nailed it with option a. Especially at first. But now I find myself having feelings that I wouldn't necessarily want to just give up on in a few months, which is why I'm asking what everyone thinks. The way I see it I have two real options- end it now and be bummed, knowing I could be missing out on something good but protecting myself from that potential heart ache if he ups and moves and it ends then. Why make it worse in a few months if I we can just have a clean break now before it really gets serious. Or two- let it progress and become more serious knowing that I will probably have to move there eventually if we were to continue this. I know the safe thing is to just not let myself get deeply involved, but I don't want to always look back and wonder either.
edited to add that I think the commitment issues are more on my part than his.
Would you consider starting a new relationship, knowing that the other person was moving across the country in a few months? This guy and I have been really close for years and know each other super well. We've connected romantically recently, but I've been reluctant to make it more serious because of his impending move (east coast to west coast). I'm developing real feelings and want to take it to that next level, but I'm hesitant. I am in the position to move within the next year or so if it works out, but that feels like a crazy commitment to think about now. At the same time I don't want to miss out on a potentially great relationship because of something like this. Thoughts? We started to have the conversation about it yesterday, but didn't really come to a conclusion.
Was in a similar situation before graduating college.
I was moving back to Texas, she was staying there in Columbia. She was my first crush ever back in grade school, then after about 12 years of not really talking, we got back in touch our junior year of college.
When I sensed that she wanted a relationship (we hung out, then she wanted to hook up, but I didn't let it to that level, too much respect for her to do that) I stopped it there. I told her, we can be friends, but there's no way a relationship will work, with you accepting planning to accept a job here (which she did) and me going back to Houston.
Would you consider starting a new relationship, knowing that the other person was moving across the country in a few months? This guy and I have been really close for years and know each other super well. We've connected romantically recently, but I've been reluctant to make it more serious because of his impending move (east coast to west coast). I'm developing real feelings and want to take it to that next level, but I'm hesitant. I am in the position to move within the next year or so if it works out, but that feels like a crazy commitment to think about now. At the same time I don't want to miss out on a potentially great relationship because of something like this. Thoughts? We started to have the conversation about it yesterday, but didn't really come to a conclusion.
I teach English overseas. I typically stay in a place between 6 to 12 months. I'm constantly moving. I sometimes date other English teachers. We all understand how it works.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Hell no. I just had this dilemma with one girl who finished school here and went back to Texas. Great girl, I didn't bother knowing full well she was likely gone in a while. Good friend but that is it.
No. Not under any circumstances. There is no "potentially great relationship" that lasts a few months. A great relationship lasts a helluva lot longer.
I wouldn't know what's best for you, but would I? Yes. Great relationships aren't common nor easy to find. I'd see where it leads. It may lead nowhere, in which case I'd know that and not wonder for the rest of my life if I'd passed up my shot at "the one". Or it might be great.
I was once lucky enough to marry my "soul mate". We were like two minds and bodies melded into one joyous being. Two and a half years later, without any warning or inkling of illness, she suddenly died. Her death was nearly more than I could endure, but never once have I ever regretted that we spent those years together. We milked the time we had for all we could have.
You could do that too, for the next few months. Then you two can decide what to do after that.
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