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The bolded is where I am at. I am literally asking myself where I fit in? All I hear is what a great catch I would be, and how nice I am. And like you everything else is falling into place. Great career, financially stable, lost over 100 pounds, and I am in great shape, and I just feel really good where I am at. But then I try to date, and I feel like I am just not where I need to be, and it is frustrating. So like you, I just am trying to figure where the heck do I fit in.
I don't understand why this is. You are a good looking guy and on this forum you certainly come across as well balanced, really nice, with a sense of humour. Maybe those CT chicks are just cold.
I don't understand why this is. You are a good looking guy and on this forum you certainly come across as well balanced, really nice, with a sense of humour. Maybe those CT chicks are just cold.
Sometimes the situation is just out of your control. You can be exactly what they are looking for, but at that time they just arent looking for you....
You can do everything "right" and it just won't happen. Not much you can do about it. I say just enjoy your own company. People always notice when I feel good about myself.
True dat. Thats what I've realized now compared to back when it was easy for me to get laid. My mindset was very different then compared to now. Luck is definitely taking longer now than it did before. Like someone else said I rather have fun with my money and friends than doing the same thing but being broke ass. I think I tolerated more crap before than I do now. I just don't have much patience for stupidity now, where before I found myself tolerating it.....
I can absolutely relate to this... I have zero issues meeting people. None whatsoever. It's finding someone who is interested in me beyond friendship is where the problems lie.
I've always had a problem like this. I can be at a party with 100 men and have 99 men be interested and I have zero interest. Meanwhile the one guy I am interested in has no interest in me. This has always been my problem. I can find men interested but rarely are they guys I like. Most of my ex-boyfriends were not guys I even liked at all and some I was repulsed by (and some gave me reason to be repulsed). Same thing with online, I would get 100 emails but easily 99 were from guys I had no interest in. It's not I wanted a man who was extremely handsome and rich, but a decent guy and so many weren't interested.
I would cry myself to sleep so often because I would meet a guy, think he's interested only to find out he was not. Not like I am ugly either, which is why this never made sense.
I've always had a problem like this. I can be at a party with 100 men and have 99 men be interested and I have zero interest. Meanwhile the one guy I am interested in has no interest in me. This has always been my problem. I can find men interested but rarely are they guys I like. Most of my ex-boyfriends were not guys I even liked at all and some I was repulsed by (and some gave me reason to be repulsed). Same thing with online, I would get 100 emails but easily 99 were from guys I had no interest in. It's not I wanted a man who was extremely handsome and rich, but a decent guy and so many weren't interested.
I would cry myself to sleep so often because I would meet a guy, think he's interested only to find out he was not. Not like I am ugly either, which is why this never made sense.
Attitude is everything. You could have an outward appearance that is bright and inviting, yet have an inward appearance that is dark and murky.
That's the problem with having standards as you get older. Your inward appearance comes off negative, when all you're trying to do is weed out the people that you're not interested in. In order to date a lot of the times you have to be willing to accept all walks of life as potential dating partners. When you're young that's fine, because you don't know much about the world around you yet. Once you're late 20s, 30s, and 40s you have experienced the good and bad of life. You have experience and some not so fond memories. The negative memories play as a way to help you remember the type of people you don't want to date.
It's easy to be reminded of those types of people online or out in a social gathering. When you're looking for your forever, you're usually looking for what you can tolerate for the rest of your life. If someone has a quality that falls in your negative pile, it's easier to discard that person than try and fix them.
Dating would be easier for all of us if we just allowed ourselves to meet anybody and everybody. We just no longer want to travel down that road, because when you know what you're looking for, why waste your time with someone that can't give you what you want? I'm not here to say that that mindset is always right, but it does show why there's relatively successful people who do remain single.
I think you're a nice-looking fella. Do you work out regularly? Do you run or hike a trail regularly? That's very appealing for me and the gals that I know. Health and fitness is a great priority to have and you can find so many things to do and enjoy together.
Yes I do work out regularly, and I have female friends that I go on walks and runs with, but that's the extent of it. I have my own workout equipment, so I work out at home, but I would love to have a gf that would do runs and walks with me.
I don't understand why this is. You are a good looking guy and on this forum you certainly come across as well balanced, really nice, with a sense of humour. Maybe those CT chicks are just cold.
Thanks for the compliment, and how I come across here is how I come across in real life. With me it's just always something, that ONE thing that can't keep them moving forward, whether it's no spark, no chemistry or whatever. But the funny thing is, when they say that, two weeks to a month later, they text again wanting to see how am I doing, and want to be friends. I don't want anyone to take this as me complaining, cause I'm really not. I understand that I am not everyone's cup of tea, but I won't lie, I am still human, and every now and then I ask myself, what in the world is my problem? And how am I not getting a connection with anyone?
More like I took myself off the meat grinder market!
I don't base my existence on someone else validating my being and happiness.
I set myself free!
I'm "lol-its-good4U" and as you can see I'm now much happier!
Like this analogy: If you have to pick up a rock pick one up that you can pick up and carry yourself as a heavier rock requiring two people to carry the other can drop their end on you at a moments notice. This is so true in the dating/relationships meat market on the most part these days imo.
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