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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
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This is something you might've talked about among your girl-friends, but if you're out on the town, say at a club or something, and you observe a young man who is obviously alone. Like you take notice of him for awhile, and who appears shy and nervous....what do you think of him? He's average to slightly good looking, bespectacled and dressed fairly average. Do you think he's a loser or creepy? Do you feel sorry for him? Do you think maybe he's unusually bold? Do you think he's probably there just to pick up? Or that he is a social misfit?
If he approaches you how do you respond? Does the fact he's alone make him less desirable in your eyes? Do you avoid him? Do you take pity on him and try to talk to him, find out why he's on his own?
DRAT: I meant to make it a multiple choice poll. Can someone please fix it soon? Sorry for the inconvenience.
I'm curious what they have to say too, but ultimately it doesn't really matter what they think about you if you never come in contact with them. Who cares. The one's you do come into contact with...well, that's entirely up to you how they perceive you.
How do strangers in a crowd know if someone is a loner or simply momentarily alone?
You're still suffering from too much self absorption and not enough objective thought about how someone (you're referring to yourself here?) is perceived from the outside.
If you're attractive or doing something worth noticing, I'm sure you'd get favorable attention. If you're just skulking on the edges or staring, people will avoid you.
Some women, like goths or other odd birds might seek out a lonesome looking guy. Others might feel pity but wouldn't waste their effort.
Most people are not paying attention to anyone except their own people.
I agree with the other replies so far. Why do you think anyone "take notice for a while" of a single guy in a bar? I don't think most people would even notice he was there let alone pay a lot of attention to him. Why do you think that?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
How do strangers in a crowd know if someone is a loner or simply momentarily alone?
You're still suffering from too much self absorption and not enough objective thought about how someone (you're referring to yourself here?) is perceived from the outside.
If you're attractive or doing something worth noticing, I'm sure you'd get favorable attention. If you're just skulking on the edges or staring, people will avoid you.
Some women, like goths or other odd birds might seek out a lonesome looking guy. Others might feel pity but wouldn't waste their effort.
Most people are not paying attention to anyone except their own people.
Yeah that's what happened when I went to this concert in another city. Tried to strike up a convo with two people, who had a friend who seemed shy and quiet, dressed in black...but in the end it was she who initiated a conversation with me and we actually became friends (albeit no more than friends). Pity I've lost contact with her, last time I heard she was living in Germany!
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanAdventurer
I'm curious what they have to say too, but ultimately it doesn't really matter what they think about you if you never come in contact with them. Who cares. The one's you do come into contact with...well, that's entirely up to you how they perceive you.
Disagree. We can't totally control how other's think about us.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
How do strangers in a crowd know if someone is a loner or simply momentarily alone?
You're still suffering from too much self absorption and not enough objective thought about how someone (you're referring to yourself here?) is perceived from the outside.
If you're attractive or doing something worth noticing, I'm sure you'd get favorable attention. If you're just skulking on the edges or staring, people will avoid you.
Some women, like goths or other odd birds might seek out a lonesome looking guy. Others might feel pity but wouldn't waste their effort.
Most people are not paying attention to anyone except their own people.
Yeah if they observe you for long enough, or if you appear to be wandering aimlessly around the place, nervously pacing, those sort of 'weird' behaviours. Some people do notice.
I can't use your first 5. I don't view a guy alone in a bar as any of those. The fact that you assume that people have that view, is very telling of you how view yourself.
I would assume that person is there to either watch sports, listen to live music or is waiting for someone. I wouldn't put much thought into it because I don't worry about what a stranger is doing unless it affects me.
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