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It is very difficult to start a conversation with a stranger you are attracted to. Add the fact that most probably do not want to be bothered it makes ones chances very slim.
I'd like to be proven wrong on that.
I find that humor always works for me or a simple compliment about a girl's hair or clothes always gets them to talk if you were even in thier scope to begin with. I find that if a woman does not respond at all or is rude she most likely never had her sights set on you as a potential conversation.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
LOL! OP, you sound like you're taking a poll, clipboard in hand, with the "What's your political preference?" What's your follow-up question, "How concerned are you on a scale of 1-10 about Social Security?" (just kidding, OP)
How to break the ice depends on the situation. If in a bar or coffeeshop, and she's ordering a drink, tell her you've never tried that one, and ask her if it's good. One of our posters here famously agreed to a date when a guy asked her about yogurt brands in the yogurt aisle of the grocery store. Casual compliments about attire can work: "That's an unusual/attractive/colorful pin/scarf/watch you're wearing." (Say it with a smile, don't just read these like the lines to a play.) Even the weather can work (especially in Seattle): "FINALLY! Some sun! I'd forgotten what it looks like!" (Make her laugh.) In the bookstore: ask her something about the category she's browsing in.
The purpose of the opener is to gauge her response, it's to test the waters. If you get a friendly response, continue. If you get a brusque, short response, drop it and move on. Keep it casual, as if you were chatting with a neighbor. This is the non-approach approach. If things seem to be clicking, introduce yourself, to signal to her that this isn't idle chat, it's an approach. See how she reacts to that. If she responds with interest and warmth, ask if you could buy her a coffee. If you get to the coffee stage, or a follow-up phone call stage, that's when you can gradually work in more substantive topics, after you've had a chance to ask her about herself (what kind of work she does, has she lived here long, etc.)
Exactly. Tailor it to the situation. And when, if, the ball gets rolling build the conversation naturally.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by RazorRob305
I find that humor always works for me or a simple compliment about a girl's hair or clothes always gets them to talk if you were even in thier scope to begin with. I find that if a woman does not respond at all or is rude she most likely never had her sights set on you as a potential conversation.
The old 'cocky but funny' routine...don't appear too cocky, just a dash of it, girls like that.
I wanted to start this thread because I (along with many others) have significant difficulty in the initiation process. I am speaking for myself as a male approaching females. While I have some faith in my conversation skills, I am not always the most approachable and am reluctant to approach others. This is not completely ideal because I'm sure I miss out on good company.
Anyway, I was wondering what women specifically are receptive to as far as starting lines. I have personally toyed with the idea of questions like: "What's your political preference?" because I think it would yield an intellectual discussion. While some people think its a personal topic I really don't think it has to be. The reason I would use an approach like this is because I am not a big fan of small talk, which to me is monotonous.
What are your thoughts as to what an appropriate approach would be? Thanks.
NO, don't go there! Unless you're at a political rally and pretty sure you share the same politics, don't ever bring this up when trying to break the ice, lol.
You might not like "small talk", but that's what gets you into bigger conversations, so learn to suffer through it.
Take advantage of what you have to work with around you when you see a girl you are interested in. For instance, if you see what kind of car she got out of - ask her about that, how she likes it, does it get good gas mileage.
Maybe she's buying cat food in the grocery store line. Ask her how many cats she has. Tell her you love cats. Is hers an inside or outside cat?
Maybe she's playing with her Android phone. Show extreme interest. Tell her you were considering getting one, would she recommend it or was she disappointed?
The amount of things you can have small talk about is ENDLESS. You just have to open your eyes and then open your mouth
Not Politics or Religion at the beginning especially if you are approaching her for the first time, ease into those topics after you have been dating for a while. A safer way (in my opinion) is a compliment about her outfit, shoes, how beautiful her smile is, things like that.
I wanted to start this thread because I (along with many others) have significant difficulty in the initiation process. I am speaking for myself as a male approaching females. .
What is the deal with people using the term "females"? Only folks who talk like this are dog breeders and wannabe thug type uneducated hip hop rapper types.
How about using terms like "ladies" or "women" from here on out for threads like these okay guys? You dont have to worry about your "hip hop street cred" here, so just use proper english please.
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