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I'm a man in my late 50s, divorced for five years, and have had two relationships since divorcing: one with a younger woman and another with a woman my age. The relationship with the younger woman was boring because we had little in common. The relationship with the woman my age was fantastic and I thought it would last forever ... until it ended. I wanted to get married to her. She ended it because she thought I want a younger woman; she felt uncomfortable when I even mentioned other woman who I worked with. It's perplexing and there is no way I can talk her into reconciliation. Believe me she expressed loving sentiment all the way to the end but decided she just wanted to be alone.
She expects to date again someday but I think she'll find plenty of turkeys. She doesn't have another man now either.
Now, my sister, who is older, is not at all surprised. She has female friends in their late 50's and 60's who have no interest in men or dating. They are financially well off and don't need a man for support. Is this common?
Now, my sister, who is older, is not at all surprised. She has female friends in their late 50's and 60's who have no interest in men or dating. They are financially well off and don't need a man for support. Is this common?
There are always exception to the norm, and generalization is not even for the birds.
However, I think it is safe to assume the bolded statement to be common.
Yes...in two ways, although this is my own male chauvinist pig theory. I have many friends in this age group, both male and female. For the females in this group, it is quite common to for those who are looking and those who are not to celebrate their independence. The ones that seem content have never been guy-crazy (but have been in relationships in their younger days) and are family- and friend-focused. The ones that are not content have been chasing guys forever, but without lasting success.
I think it has something to do with the female hormone cycle, as the ones who are single and still "looking" have always been very sexually active, while the others have been without a sex partner for decades. But it also has to do with the bad choices that many in the active group and a few in the inactive group have made in partners.
I also know several men age bracket 44-62 yrs who gave up on relationships just not interested anymore.Nothing wrong with them they just prefer to be alone and lead a full life.
I'm a man in my late 50s, divorced for five years, and have had two relationships since divorcing: one with a younger woman and another with a woman my age. The relationship with the younger woman was boring because we had little in common. The relationship with the woman my age was fantastic and I thought it would last forever ... until it ended. I wanted to get married to her. She ended it because she thought I want a younger woman; she felt uncomfortable when I even mentioned other woman who I worked with. It's perplexing and there is no way I can talk her into reconciliation. Believe me she expressed loving sentiment all the way to the end but decided she just wanted to be alone.
She expects to date again someday but I think she'll find plenty of turkeys. She doesn't have another man now either.
Now, my sister, who is older, is not at all surprised. She has female friends in their late 50's and 60's who have no interest in men or dating. They are financially well off and don't need a man for support. Is this common?
Awww keep trying with her. I think she just feels insecure. Tell her how you feel about HER. I hope you two get back together and work out. You're sweet.
Sorry that your relationship has ended. Maybe she'll reconsider reconciliation; and as srjth stated, she's just feeling a little insecure because of the younger women you work with and see and talk to everyday. If you two do get back together, perhaps you shouldn't speak of the younger women you work with. Ever. Talk about the type of work you do and the situations you encounter in the workplace, but don't ever bring up your younger female co-workers again. It's not necessary for you to do and, because she's an older woman, it'll only fuel her uncertainty about your attraction to her.
Hey srjth ... thanks for your sweet reply. Friends and relatives say I need to give it time and she'll eventually get in touch. But she is intractable ... says the relationship is over due to too much stress "feeling old". She's said it several times so I can only believe that's the case. On our first date she brought up the issue: men in their later years have the advantage over women whereas it was flipped when we were younger. I don't agree, but it seems a common perception. She was very much into the relationship (we did a lot of traveling together, very loving) so I don't think she simply wants to be alone for the rest of her life.
My impression is that older women tend to separate into two groups - those who want relationships but on their terms, and those who are mostly indifferent to having one. Perhaps it's hormonal, post-menopause, and it may be influenced by their past experiences. Good past experiences may encourage them to seek another good relationship - but if they have difficulty finding men who live up to that (as seems common from what I gather from forums here and elsewhere), they may choose to be alone with their friends filling the need for companionship.
Anyway, give her some time, but she may have decided that a relationship is more trouble than it's worth.
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Maybe she'll reconsider reconciliation; and as srjth stated, she's just feeling a little insecure because of the younger women you work with and see and talk to everyday. If you two do get back together, perhaps you shouldn't speak of the younger women you work with. Ever. Talk about the type of work you do and the situations you encounter in the workplace, but don't ever bring up your younger female co-workers again. It's not necessary for you to do and, because she's an older woman, it'll only fuel her uncertainty about your attraction to her. 
