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No I see nothing wrong with this. When you enter into a relationship with someone you do so as the full person you are - the whole package - including who your friends are.
Relationships are the art of compromose of course - and if you want to scale back your friendships to facilitate a new relationship then so be it - but there is no law to say you have to or would be in any way "wrong" not to.
Just wondering if sex with a friend automatically means you cannot be just friends anymore. For example if I sleep with a friend but was never in a relationship with that person and it happened only twice and it was almost 2 years ago is it disrespectful to your current SO if you still text and talk on the phone with said friend??? Can you still label that person as just a "friend" even after having had sex with them?
I personally wouldn't want my SO to be in contact with a former sex buddy. Why don't you tell your partner that you used to have sex with this "friend" and see if they're ok with it if you're really concerned.
Just wondering if sex with a friend automatically means you cannot be just friends anymore. For example if I sleep with a friend but was never in a relationship with that person and it happened only twice and it was almost 2 years ago is it disrespectful to your current SO if you still text and talk on the phone with said friend??? Can you still label that person as just a "friend" even after having had sex with them?
It all depends on the gender. If the friend is a man he needs to be cut off, if the friend is a woman she can still be friends with that man in a relationship.
Of course not. As long as the relationship is over and you are simply being friends then I don't see the problem. Some people might find it awkward but everyone has a past and it would be childish to deny this just because you are now in a new relationship.
If there is nothing inappropriate going on and you have been open to your new partner it should not be a big deal. The new partner might feel a little uncomfortable I suppose but if they are really jealous I think it bodes ill for the future as trust is such an important component of relationships.
I met one of Hubby's girlfriends when we first met and I had no problem with it. They lost touch after a while but are now in contact again ( Facebook of course !) after many years and I am not jealous in the least. She has her life, he has his. Their being friends is not something which I feel threatened by. If I found out he was drooling over her pictures, lying to me about it or spending all his time on the phone to her I would start asking questions but I take it at face value.
At the end of the day he chose ME. We have a life together and an old girlfriend is not something I shall lose sleep over.
I personally wouldn't want my SO to be in contact with a former sex buddy. Why don't you tell your partner that you used to have sex with this "friend" and see if they're ok with it if you're really concerned.
Exactly. If they find out later..I don't see that going well. Looks like you had a reason to keep it under wraps.
I would be curious about the context of "talk to."
If "talk to" means we're friendly, occasionally speak/catch up, check in with one another now and then, that's a different story than one where "talk to" means talk all the time, know intimate ins and outs of one another's lives, have a level of emotional intimacy that rivals (or exceeds) that of the level of emotional intimacy one has with the current partner. If somebody has a "best friend" that is also a former lover, and those people share a connection that's as strong as/stronger than the one the person has with their current spouse or partner, that's bound to be problematic.
I would be curious about the context of "talk to."
If "talk to" means we're friendly, occasionally speak/catch up, check in with one another now and then, that's a different story than one where "talk to" means talk all the time, know intimate ins and outs of one another's lives, have a level of emotional intimacy that rivals (or exceeds) that of the level of emotional intimacy one has with the current partner. If somebody has a "best friend" that is also a former lover, and those people share a connection that's as strong as/stronger than the one the person has with their current spouse or partner, that's bound to be problematic.
Just wondering if sex with a friend automatically means you cannot be just friends anymore. For example if I sleep with a friend but was never in a relationship with that person and it happened only twice and it was almost 2 years ago is it disrespectful to your current SO if you still text and talk on the phone with said friend??? Can you still label that person as just a "friend" even after having had sex with them?
The happens IRL a lot. More than people realize.
The issue is more about trust, and also separately, how you interact with said friend while in a relationship.
IMO, I will most likely not tell someone I am dating that I had sex with this friend or that friend. I think it puts a big mess in peoples minds, and why does who you date need to know you slept with so and so over there anyway?
Some people want to see pictures of previous partners, like its a competition and they are rating themself vs. a previous s/o. So weird, I had someone ask me to show them a picture of my ex.
Nonetheless, I won't be showing any ex pictures to people I date, and I won't let women I date know if I slept with friend XYZ way back when.
You can still be friends with someone you had sex with before. But OP, it sounds like you may be giving the ex-sex friend the attention that could/should be going towards your new s/o?
It probly is a really good idea to back off from the ex-sex friend a bit. MANY people will have a problem with what you are doing, especially if you tell the new s/o you slept with the ex-sex friend. Honestly, it sounds like you are creating drama to some extent.
Just wondering if sex with a friend automatically means you cannot be just friends anymore. For example if I sleep with a friend but was never in a relationship with that person and it happened only twice and it was almost 2 years ago is it disrespectful to your current SO if you still text and talk on the phone with said friend??? Can you still label that person as just a "friend" even after having had sex with them?
You have a right to your friends. You have a right to your past. What are supposed to do, cut off all contact with everyone you every slept with just to appease a new SO insecurity? Rubbish.
You have a right to your friends. You have a right to your past. What are supposed to do, cut off all contact with everyone you every slept with just to appease a new SO insecurity? Rubbish.
'Course not. But it's also weird to maintain a level of emotional connection with such a person that ought to be the sort of emotional connection reserved for the SO. I think THAT'S when trouble really starts. People need to ask themselves, if they're that close to their friend, why aren't they together?
Some people like to hold on to former FWBs as security blankets, for "just in case" purposes, or because they do harbor the idea that the relationship could always be rekindled, if need be. Keeping former FWBs on the line CAN be bet-hedging of the highest order. Doesn't have to be, but can be.
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