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Old 04-15-2013, 06:06 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 53,424,091 times
Reputation: 9451

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
exactly! but men need to realize that there are no mysteries. I am single, therefore I try online dating. Period. I can find "dates", but I have not found the"one". What exactly is so mysterious about that?!

I've never asked a man, "why are you single?" If they are single, that mean they are looking, period. They don't own me an explanation. I don't understand why some people cannot take others words at fact value.

" I am busy" simply means "I am busy". Nothing more nothing less.

I agree, the next time someone ask me why I;m single I will tell them they are on medication and hang up the phone.

Don't have time for nonsense
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Old 04-15-2013, 06:08 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 53,424,091 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
huh? people actually hook up on this forum?

I tried to meet someone off this forum and when she found out I was 6'6 she changed her mind because she is only 5'1. We were scheduled to meet at the train station
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Old 04-15-2013, 06:13 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 8,027,593 times
Reputation: 9494
i never got it either Op. i just assumed they want someone to pander to their lifestyle and be there for them when "they don't want to be busy" or are looking for someone equally as outgoing (assuming they really mean outgoing rather then busy)
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Old 04-15-2013, 06:14 PM
 
30,658 posts, read 36,998,315 times
Reputation: 41509
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Exactly! For example, the first single father boyfriend told me the following, "Lily, you are a great girl. But I am a dad, I have to juggle between a full time job and a five year girl. I cannot promise that I am going to give you a great time simply because i am too busy..."

My reply, "I understand that. I still like you."
Yep. Absurd that anyone would not understand this.
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:24 PM
 
14,920 posts, read 19,009,832 times
Reputation: 12042
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Exactly! For example, the first single father boyfriend told me the following, "Lily, you are a great girl. But I am a dad, I have to juggle between a full time job and a five year girl. I cannot promise that I am going to give you a great time simply because i am too busy..."

My reply, "I understand that. I still like you."
He said this in a nice way and more importantly he said it to you personally . He explained where his time was going, and not a generalized "I'm busy". I wonder though, at what point he said this - when you first met? after the first date? after you were already bf/gf?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
i never got it either Op. i just assumed they want someone to pander to their lifestyle and be there for them when "they don't want to be busy" or are looking for someone equally as outgoing (assuming they really mean outgoing rather then busy)
Right. Some people do mean that.
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Old 04-16-2013, 12:15 AM
 
1 posts, read 807 times
Reputation: 10
I need advice! Basically I met this guy online a few weeks ago and he seems to be awesome. The thing is we are in different states. I will be moving in 2 months and he says he will wait patiently and has plans for us when I get there. He seems very genuine and so I think he is sincere in everything he says to me. He is also a workaholic though and stays busy. I mentioned to him once that I wish we could talk more and he said that he just wants to take things slow getting to know each other and wants to protect me also. What does that mean? I took it to mean he was chivalrous...am I wrong? Anyway he also warned me up front that owning a business he stays very busy and there will be some weeks where he cant talk every day. The thing is He only messages me once a day, if that and it's usually to say have a good day gorgeous. I'm glad he wants to go slow and he actually is teaching me patience when I'm not a very patient woman. I just wonder if I am being foolish to trust he is really that busy. I wonder if he is serious about getting to know me since he always says sweet things when he does call or text or is he not as serious as he says since he doesn't have time to talk and find out anything about me. What should I do?
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Old 04-16-2013, 12:23 AM
 
Location: New York
541 posts, read 813,393 times
Reputation: 262
"I say busy and dont have time" aka "Im making myself look more important and sophisticated than I actually am which will in turn make me appear mysterious and challenging which will also in turn make you pursue me."
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Old 04-16-2013, 12:28 AM
 
Location: Southern California
15,084 posts, read 18,616,572 times
Reputation: 10321
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Danes View Post
I have seen this too many times on profiles.

If you're that busy, why are you "looking" for a relationship?


Is "being busy" some sort of a status symbol?
I think it is a defense mechanism that the busy person can rely on (as an excuse) when handling rejection by another, i.e. "I was too busy to date that person anyway." Similarly, when the busy person rejects a potential date, they can do so kindly by stating, "I'm busy..."

[i'm guessing]
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Old 04-16-2013, 01:09 AM
 
3,963 posts, read 4,960,359 times
Reputation: 3670
Quote:
Originally Posted by IEnjoyBeer View Post
"I say busy and dont have time" aka "Im making myself look more important and sophisticated than I actually am which will in turn make me appear mysterious and challenging which will also in turn make you pursue me."
Or maybe they're being honest. I don't get such a reaching conclusion.
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:07 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 53,424,091 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
I think it is a defense mechanism that the busy person can rely on (as an excuse) when handling rejection by another, i.e. "I was too busy to date that person anyway." Similarly, when the busy person rejects a potential date, they can do so kindly by stating, "I'm busy..."

[i'm guessing]


Creative Rejection
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