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Old 03-11-2013, 06:25 AM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 53,233,963 times
Reputation: 9451

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sounds like it's cool to be busy
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,882 posts, read 2,227,823 times
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I guess I look at it differently, because in most cases, people really are busy especially during the week. Jobs, kids, other functions, take up a lot of a persons time. I think in most cases they are just letting people know up front, that I have a lot going on, and just be patient. If there is a connection, schedules will be worked out and time will be made. I think many of you are looking too hard at this.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:45 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 38,498,360 times
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"I am busy and don't have time" = "This is all about my needs right now, so if you hear from me at all, don't expect very much. I'll make a strong effort at first if I really like you."

Keeping in touch is not difficult to do. People who make excuses about being busy and not having time do not want to put forth the effort to really get to know someone, which requires conversation and remembering things. They will probably have the easiest relationships with others like them, because they will all be too busy with their "real lives" to be hurt or offended when the other person calls every week or two when it's time for a date and some sex, then disappears for another stretch.

Busy people unite.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:50 AM
 
4,684 posts, read 3,522,776 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
"I am busy and don't have time" = "This is all about my needs right now, so if you hear from me at all, don't expect very much. I'll make a strong effort at first if I really like you."

Keeping in touch is not difficult to do. People who make excuses about being busy and not having time do not want to put forth the effort to really get to know someone, which requires conversation and remembering things. They will probably have the easiest relationships with others like them, because they will all be too busy with their "real lives" to be hurt or offended when the other person calls every week or two when it's time for a date and some sex, then disappears for another stretch.

Busy people unite.
Wouldn't you say that this ends up being an internal problem? You make yourself too busy so you don't have to deal with why you are having relationship troubles. I have a coworker that does the exact same thing. She's wrapped herself up in so many activities, so that she doesn't have to think about why she's single and 38.

In my 29 years on earth, I've found that the people that do this tend to continue to date the wrong kind of people. To me, it's not that you are too busy, but that you are attracted to the wrong types of people. Staying busy is just the excuse that ultimately covers up what the real problem is.

I'm busy, but at the same time I keep my schedule pretty open too. Likely, if I date someone who's too busy, I'm going to have a hard time opening up to them. You end up feeling that you are bothering them, because they say they are busy all the time. See how it can make someone not as confident in their abilities?
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:52 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 38,498,360 times
Reputation: 42628
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
Wouldn't you say that this ends up being an internal problem. You make yourself too busy so you don't have to deal with why you are having relationship troubles. I have a coworker that does the exact same thing. She's wrapped herself up in so many activities, so that she doesn't have to think about why she's single and 38.

In my 29 years on earth, I've found that the people that do this tend to continue to date the wrong kind of people. To me, it's not that you are too busy, but that you are attracted to the wrong types of people. Staying busy is just the excuse that ultimately covers up what the real problem is.

I'm busy, but at the same time I keep my schedule pretty open too. Likely, if I date someone who's too busy, I'm going to have a hard time opening up to them. You end up feeling that you are bothering them, because they say they are busy all the time. See how it can make someone not as confident in their abilities?
Yep, I totally agree.
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,257 posts, read 56,767,187 times
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Anyone who whined or bragged about being busy would end up in my trash box.

Everyone has time for what matters to them.
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:41 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 53,233,963 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76 View Post
I guess I look at it differently, because in most cases, people really are busy especially during the week. Jobs, kids, other functions, take up a lot of a persons time. I think in most cases they are just letting people know up front, that I have a lot going on, and just be patient. If there is a connection, schedules will be worked out and time will be made. I think many of you are looking too hard at this.

No one is going to be patience when there are many other options online
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:43 PM
 
30,215 posts, read 36,695,457 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Anyone who whined or bragged about being busy would end up in my trash box.

Everyone has time for what matters to them.
Not everything. Sometimes, it really is a struggle and I find that I really wish I could be in two places at one time.
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,882 posts, read 2,227,823 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
No one is going to be patience when there are many other options online
I don't disagree with that, and that is the risk a person takes by being too busy to date. I'm not saying that people should give every busy bee a chance, especially if there are people who better fit their schedules, just saying that there are actually plenty of busy people out there, not just people making excuses.
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,257 posts, read 56,767,187 times
Reputation: 73535
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Not everything. Sometimes, it really is a struggle and I find that I really wish I could be in two places at one time.
Obviously onw thing matters more than the other.

Frankly, as someone who spent a few years working 100 hours a week, I know what busy is.
And I know how you will do without one thing to go for the thing that matters most.
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