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You don't want to talk someone and feel like you're a grilled cheese sandwich. A lot of guys and gals do this, due to not having much dating experience. I used to be a little like that back when I was wet behind the ears with dating. May be an alright guy, but his approach is very off putting. He'll need a woman who can see past is off approach and tell him that he's making her uncomfortable. Someone just has to feel that he's worth taking a chance on.
When someone on a dating site says "I'm just so busy!", what I interpret that to mean is "I only date the 10%, otherwise, don't bother wasting my time".
With online dating though, no one approach works well. Everyone seems to be a bit more of a chameleon to keep the odds more in your favor.
He is very handsome, and sure knows how to write a great profile. But I have a feeling that he has been burned pretty badly in the past. He just seems too suspicious for my taste. I could be wrong though. Either way, it really doesn't matter. He wrote couple of times after that, I have stopped communication.
I think this is due to the fact that there is STILL a stigma attached to online daters.
For example, if you are hot, sexy, handsome, beautiful, career minded, family oriented, desirable, a great catch, then why DO YOU have to try online dating?
Actually, I have an interesting story to share.
This is a real life conversation between a man I met online and myself, here goes it
Me 14/4/2013 8:02:34 PM
You sound interesting. Good luck with your search =) Lily
Him 4/5/2013 8:05:01 AM
Hi there, you sound interesting too and pretty cute, I might add...are you interested? If so, tell me your name. My name is Roger.
Me /6/2013 7:59:49 PM
Nice to meet you Roger My name is Lily. =) I must say, You and your sister both have very warm bright smile. It is always a plus. I hope you have a great weekend. I have an art project to finish, sorry for the late response. Responding late does not mean I am not interested in talking to you. hope you understand.
Him 4/8/2013 5:33:58 PM
Hi Lily, what kind of business do you own? You seem pretty normal and totally cute, how come you're not married with kids and a white picket fence?
Me 4/8/2013 6:19:12 PM
My family has retail businesses and I am managing them. I also have my own art studio.
HIM 4/9/2013 8:31:06 AM So I've gotta ask you, why are you single? You've got to have guys asking you out all the time? You're intelligent, cute...do you want to settle down and have a family? Babies?
ME 4/9/2013 4:47:21 PM
Yes, with the right person. Why am I single? That is a long story.
ME 4/9/2013 5:32:07 PM I've got time...give me the summary. Don't tell me you are too busy, I don't buy it.
I get asked why I'm single ALL THE TIME. When a guy asks you that, he is trying to figure out what's wrong with you (we all have flaws), if you're just super picky or a female player. Mostly he's just trying to figure out his angle and how he needs to approach this (if at all). Another way men do this is just by asking outright "What are you looking for in a man?" Some do that. Most men don't like mysteries.
I get asked why I'm single ALL THE TIME. When a guy asks you that, he is trying to figure out what's wrong with you (we all have flaws), if you're just super picky or a female player. Mostly he's just trying to figure out his angle and how he needs to approach this (if at all). Another way men do this is just by asking outright "What are you looking for in a man?" Some do that. Most men don't like mysteries.
exactly! but men need to realize that there are no mysteries. I am single, therefore I try online dating. Period. I can find "dates", but I have not found the"one". What exactly is so mysterious about that?!
I've never asked a man, "why are you single?" If they are single, that mean they are looking, period. They don't own me an explanation. I don't understand why some people cannot take others words at fact value.
" I am busy" simply means "I am busy". Nothing more nothing less.
exactly! but men need to realize that there are no mysteries. I am single, therefore I try online dating. Period. I can find "dates", but I have not found the"one". What exactly is so mysterious about that?!
You can say that but that will be interpreted as you're picky (which nothing is wrong with).
Quote:
I've never asked a man, "why are you single?" If they are single, that mean they are looking, period. They don't own me an explanation. I don't understand why some people cannot take others words at fact value.
Just take it as a compliment.
If someone keeps inquiring, it means that they really really don't want to waste their time and I think you should answer their questions if they're not asking anything too personal. If that feels too intense or too soon for you, then yeah, you probably should just stop talking to them.
Quote:
" I am busy" simply means "I am busy". Nothing more nothing less.
Nobody believes this though. Just sayin'.
It's best to just not even say it (even if you really are busy).
If you take a while to respond, you just tell them why you took so long, what you're up to and what you're doing. It's good for conversation anyway.
Few people (who actually like you) will not ask why you're so busy and what you're doing.
And keep in mind, that they may decide that you just don't have the time to give them the level of attention that they require. Everyone has needs and preferences.
You can say that but that will be interpreted as you're picky (which nothing is wrong with).
Just take it as a compliment.
If someone keeps inquiring, it means that they really really don't want to waste their time and I think you should answer their questions if they're not asking anything too personal. If that feels too intense or too soon for you, then yeah, you probably should just stop talking to them.
Nobody believes this though. Just sayin'.
It's best to just not even say it (even if you really are busy).
If you take a while to respond, you just tell them why you took so long, what you're up to and what you're doing. It's good for conversation anyway.
Few people (who actually like you) will not ask why you're so busy and what you're doing.
And keep in mind, that they may decide that you just don't have the time to give them the level of attention that they require. Everyone has needs and preferences.
Funny thing is that I've never told anybody "I am too busy"
He ASSUMED I would use "busy" as an excuse.
He said, "Don't tell me you are too busy, I don't buy it" which to me, it means "There must be something wrong about you that you haven't told me?"
LOL
I am very tempted to tell him, "Maybe I am just crazy. Satisfied? " haha
I never had a dating profile. I have a linkedin profile though, but I never thought of "chatting" with anyone for a date over there (and I don't use facebook, created it once long ago and simply stopped coming very soon afterwards, I hated facebook). I never even thought of it.
My question to other people: Have any of you used any "other" social networks such as facebook and linkedin to seek for a new date and contact them via those social networks, or you strictly stick with "online dating sites" (paid and/or unpaid ones) in seeking and contacting your potential dates? I mean, you do have real data about you on facebook and linkedin, so that might be both advantage and a disadvantage, I don't know.
errr almost EVERYONE is busy. Most people work full time and do things after and that pretty much takes up most of their day. Most of my friends are BUSY all the time but we manage to get together once a week and do stuff together.
I am pretty busy most of the time. Do I feel the need to broadcast to everyone that I am busy? No. Because if I like the person, I will try to make time for them. I will try to invite them to join me playing volleyball or watch movies with friends or whatever.
So why do some people (mostly women) feel the need to express it? Probably insecurity about using dating website.
Exactly! If you work full time you're "busy". But that doesn' stop me from having a social life. Usually the people who go on and on how busy they are usally some of the biggest D bags out there.
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