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I wonder if it's marriage counseling the son needs, or individual psychotherapy. He seems to lack maturity, and to be judgmental. Or maybe it's both that he needs.
You realize this makes no sense, right? Your son seems full of himself, and doesn't want to entertain the possibility that his wife has valid reasons for believing as she does. How long have they been married? He really called you in tears? Have you ever noticed drama queen tendencies in him before?
He spent hours and hours trying to see her side of things but after days of praying, mediatation and introspection he just could not accept her opinions. They have been married two years. Yes, he is crying and this is rare.
Isn't this the case when couples break apart? They just can't accept the decisions and approach to money, sex, or how to bring up their children views of their partner.
What could possibly be so important that it would bring a grown man to tears, AFTER prayer and meditation? Are they disagreeing on whether to have children? On whether she should work or not? What's the $50,000 question?
He spent hours and hours trying to see her side of things but after days of praying, mediatation and introspection he just could not accept her opinions. They have been married two years. Yes, he is crying and this is rare.
On what issue...whether or not to have chilren?...what religion should they practice?...or the next American Idol? It depends if it's a deal breaker issue or just a difference of opinion...!
He spent hours and hours trying to see her side of things but after days of praying, mediatation and introspection he just could not accept her opinions. They have been married two years. Yes, he is crying and this is rare.
Isn't this the case when couples break apart? They just can't accept the decisions and approach to money, sex, or how to bring up their children views of their partner.
Okay, now he sounds like he's "losing it".
More than just marriage counseling, your son sounds like HE needs some individual help.
This kind of angst and crying doesn't sound normal.
Isn't this the case when couples break apart? They just can't accept the decisions and approach to money, sex, or how to bring up their children views of their partner.
Couples with disagreements about these things usually don't get married in the first place, as you observed in your OP. Sorting through these questions is something that happens during the engagement period, if not before. If marriage counseling can't bring them closer together on these issues, then they'll have to divorce and start over, sadder but wiser, probably.
No, that has never happened to me. I am not so arrogant, pig-headed, and domineering as to deem someone illogical or unintelligent just because they disagree with me, nor am I so full of myself that I would presume to think that my way of seeing things should be the only way others in my household see it.
Early in our marriage my late husband would respond the disagreements with some of the most illogical thoughts - even his family would say it was an illogical response. I learned that he only did that when he felt cornered for lack of a better term. I learned to come across differently so he didn't feel that way.
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Author....John Grey wrote a book years ago, "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" it is all about the differences in communication styles between men and women. I have never forgotten one example, I'll paraphrase... A wife asks her hubby if he can take out the garbage....What he answers is "Sure". What she wants is for her hubby to take out the garbage....What he heard was simply a question. Can he take out the garbage....What is missing is "Would" you take out the garbage.
An example that demonstrates the difference in the above example. When a man asks a woman to marry him, He asks would you marry me....Not, could you marry me.
It might be nice if you sent them both a copy and they could read and discuss the book together.
Also, once folks get a bit older, I think being right often takes second place to being happy. I learned to compromise and you certainly have to pick your battles. There are some issues not at all worth arguing about.
Some good old fashioned marriage counseling may be helpful. Hope all works out.
OP, please do not take it as a personal attack. I am sure your son is a great human being. But women generally don't care for a man who runs to his mom or dad for his marital problems. =(
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It depends if it's a deal breaker issue or just a difference of opinion...
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