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I want to get this down in writing. Don't really care if anyone sees it or responds to it, but if you do, I thank you for allowing me to share this with you. The story actually begins in the summer of 1974 at a YMCA summer camp in Ohio. I was in college, and making a few extra dollars as a counselor. On the day I arrived for work, I got out of my old '63 Buick LeSabre and walked toward the main lodge, greeting old friends as I went to check in with the camp director. Someone asked me if I had met "Lynn" yet. "No," I said. "just got here." At that moment, a beautiful blonde girl with huge brown eyes walked out of the front door, and turned a million-megawatt smile on me. "Hi, I'm Lynn." Boom.
That was all it took. I turned into a puddle of goo on the spot. Yeah. Hopelessly in love from moment one, and I could tell she'd been hit, too.
But there was a problem. "Roger," let's call him. My cabin-mate and good friend. A year or so older, and a resident of a Great Plains state where they play some very good football. He got there first. And they were already an item, and continued to be through the summer, as I did my job. But, still, every time she walked past me, I could see something in her eyes.
As June turned to July, I could see the two of them getting closer and closer. But I also saw some things in "Roger" that were unsettling. A racial incident involving one of the kids that almost got him fired. A growing arrogance and impatience when things didn't go his way. One or two other girls on the side. OK, what young man hasn't enjoyed multi-tasking, but still, when he went out of his way to say "You won't tell Lynn about this, right....?" Not surprisingly, our friendship began to deteriorate.
By happy co-incidence, "Lynn" was enrolled at the same university as me. "Roger," alas, had a one-way ticket back to Go Big Red land, and I figured that was it, summer romance, now let's get down to business. I had to leave for college a little early, as I was a member of the marching band. But I kinew when Lynn was going to be there, and I called her. We spent a nice evening together, watching an old James Bond movie, and we got closer and closer. I kissed her for the first time that night, and I was hers. Had always been.
Our romance grew and grew. We were an item around the campus, and we began to talk about the future. An engagement ring was not out of the question. And, then, out of the blue, he came back into her life. Or maybe he had never left. You can guess the rest. Our relationship started to go downhill, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. He was the perfect man, he was going to take her away, he was this, he was that. Finally, we had a one-on-one in the dorm lounge, and I said I couldn't take it any more. I love you, but I can't stand in your way. I left the lounge in tears, and asked myself how I was going to rebuild my life without her.
It took nearly a year, but I did. I literally went into hiding in a one-room efficiency apartment near campus, but eventually, a lovely girl from Cleveland crossed my path. And my post-Lynn life began.
But I never forgot her. The light never went out. I never stopped wondering if she was OK, if she was happy.
Fast forward 38 years. August, 2012.
I am in my mid 50's, not wealthy, but I can order a pizza on Friday night if I want to. 2nd marriage in place for many years. Steady, I guess is the best word. I'm a news anchor at a local news-talk radio station, and I love what I do. One day, I'm perusing Facebook, and I come across a message that had been posted a couple of days before on my birthday. "Happy birthday, you old stud!" I'm literally out of my chair, standing up. A little more poking around, and I see her posts again, complaining about some of the chickens she kept in her back yard. One had bitten her. I typed in two words. "Bad chicken" and hit enter.
A "conversation" began...and when the words "You were the one that got away" came up on my screen, the floodgates opened, and it all came back and came rushing out. Lynn was back. She'd found me and was reaching out. The conversation has not stopped. Text, phone calls, e-mails, Facebook. Anything. Every day. OK, almost every day.
I fell in love again. And so did she. But.....there were/are obstacles. Big ones this time. My wife. Her husband. Geography. 1,336 miles, to be exact, from my house to hers.
And, there were also some answers. What happened to us, and why? I got those answers, and living with them has become tough. Someone once wrote "The saddest words of tongue and pen: What MIGHT have been..."
I am sorry to hear of the very sad story of love lost, OP
If you really think about it for a while though, by her choosing to re-inject Roger into her life, Lynn was the party who decided to end the earlier relationship that you and she had together, while in college...so it was ultimately her loss, in the very end. Had she chosen a different path, it sounds like she easily could have had you, as her loving husband...
Please don't blame yourself though for the way things turned out, in the end; you did everything and all you reasonably could to keep her love, after all...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 03-10-2013 at 12:27 PM..
Reason: Edits
You know what you have. You don't know what your going to get, except for the pain and financial hardship brought on by divorce.
OK...in my world and yours, that wouldn't necessarily be enough to stop me.
Whatever you do, consider the consequences of every course of action open to you before you leap and try to have an escape route for any action you do take.
Just remember that sometimes things aren't as good in reality as you've imagined them to be. I wouldn't risk ruining two presumably happy marriages for something that "might" be good. Just don't do it.
Whatever reasons she is giving you now, remember she chose him, not you, when it came time to decide. When you were at summer camp, despite, whatever " looks" you thought she was giving you, it was the other guy she stayed with. When you were in college, you were just her play thing until she worked things out with the man she really wanted.
So why is contacting you now ? Is she going through a rough spot in her marriage and needs you to boost her ego ? You didn't say she is divorced or even permanently separated. That means she's still with her husband. If her life with him is so bad, why is she still there ?
You two are playing a very nasty game with your respective spouses. Don't forget you're both still married. You're emotionally cheating with them. That's a betrayal. If you're not committed to your wife, be a man, leave and go it alone.
Sure, it's exciting, hearing from this woman-- it's like being a teenager in love again ( for you anyway). But I also think she knows you care for her much more than she ever cared for you ( despite whatever song she is singing to you.) Seems to me this is a case of she's got you wrapped you around her finger.
You think she loves you- then call her bluff. Ask her when she is filing for divorce. Tell her you're going to cool it and not contact her until she is actually free to be with you. Once she's legally free, then you'll leave your wife and you two can set up housekeeping near where you work. She what she says. If it's all excuses, then what she is doing is just a game.
Now maybe you guys just want to keep playing your little game on the internet without it ever going anywhere and pretending there there is some great love affair going on. But it seems to me that all that all emotional effort should be going toward working on your actual, current marriages. Remember, you're not the one that got away. You're the one she could have had any time and threw away. Don't let yourself get used.
Thank you for your responses. There is truth and wisdom in what you all have written. But my story is not finished. When I get a few moments, I will compose the rest of it. Stay with me. Thank you.
OP, I've been in a similar situation when I was married. It doesn't matter to me what the rest of your story is, you are playing with fire. Both of you are married. If an relationship starts, it isn't just between you and her. It effects you, her, your wife, her husband and any children there may be.
I can honestly tell you that hurt is very real. And anger is fueled by hurt.
Take what everyone says and LISTEN to it. It was a cute story that is turning ugly. I've been on both sides and neither is fun, respectful or honest. Believe me karma really IS a ******. If you toy around with this, you will lose part of yourself.
Whatever reasons she is giving you now, remember she chose him, not you, when it came time to decide. When you were at summer camp, despite, whatever " looks" you thought she was giving you, it was the other guy she stayed with. When you were in college, you were just her play thing until she worked things out with the man she really wanted.
So why is contacting you now ? Is she going through a rough spot in her marriage and needs you to boost her ego ? You didn't say she is divorced or even permanently separated. That means she's still with her husband. If her life with him is so bad, why is she still there ?
You two are playing a very nasty game with your respective spouses. Don't forget you're both still married. You're emotionally cheating with them. That's a betrayal. If you're not committed to your wife, be a man, leave and go it alone.
Sure, it's exciting, hearing from this woman-- it's like being a teenager in love again ( for you anyway). But I also think she knows you care for her much more than she ever cared for you ( despite whatever song she is singing to you.) Seems to me this is a case of she's got you wrapped you around her finger.
You think she loves you- then call her bluff. Ask her when she is filing for divorce. Tell her you're going to cool it and not contact her until she is actually free to be with you. Once she's legally free, then you'll leave your wife and you two can set up housekeeping near where you work. She what she says. If it's all excuses, then what she is doing is just a game.
Now maybe you guys just want to keep playing your little game on the internet without it ever going anywhere and pretending there there is some great love affair going on. But it seems to me that all that all emotional effort should be going toward working on your actual, current marriages. Remember, you're not the one that got away. You're the one she could have had any time and threw away. Don't let yourself get used.
Is completely correct don't try to start a real relationship when you are already in a relationship
Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. I suspect he's not going to say anything about reuniting with her. I won't spoil it with what I think is coming next. But, for the love of God man, do not leave your wife for this woman (in case I'm guessing incorrectly what you are going to disclose in part 2) like someone upthread said. you are not the one that got away, you are the one she threw away for the man she really wanted. However, sometimes people do this and realize later their mistake . . . Can't wait to hear part two. In any case, if she wants you back, she's got to earn it and prove that she regrets choosing the other guy.
Oh, and IF she should say that she is divorcing her husband . . . make sure you actually SEE the divorce papers. I was wondering why my live-in SO wasn't asking to marry me and found out that he wasn't exactly legally divorced. Then again, he may not have loved me anyway . . .
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